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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

On edge about jogging

99 replies

snarplesgettingnosey · 12/02/2022 14:12

I'm more than prepared to be called a nosey neighbour but I'm starting to get a bit on edge about men walking down the road I live on.
About eight months ago I moved to a new area. Small town/large village vibe, small enough that strangers say hello if passing in street. Lots of dog walkers. I WFH and can see the road outside while I'm working. The first time I noticed a man in his sixties walk by it just struck me that he wasn't carrying anything but he was walking purposefully. Nothing unusual as I assumed it was someone who lived past where I live and was going to the shop. Then I noticed it more often again and again - not the same man - walking by, carrying nothing, often looking purposefully. I haven't noticed any of them returning back up the road although I'm not constantly looking out so they might have done. There are approximately no more than twenty houses past me before fields start and I now know some of the neighbours so I'd say it's unlikely that all these men can be coming from their own houses.
Yesterday was the first time I noticed a man come from the same direction but rather than walk past he got in his car which was parked outside my neighbours. He turned the car around to drive back in the direction he had driven from. Again, he'd not been carrying anything and I've never seen him before. With the exception of one man who looks to be in his thirties that I've seen twice, they're all in their sixties/seventies.
I'm starting to get paranoid because I go jogging in this area. Should I stop?

OP posts:

CatDogMonkeyPOW · 13/02/2022 08:14

I have to do that ridiculous half run half walk thing to keep up with my 65 year old Dad when he's out for a walk. He never saunters anywhere.

Maybe there's a circular route they are taking past your house.

You have way too much time on your hands.

Dyep · 13/02/2022 08:17

Sounds like WFH isn’t working out for you, time to head back to the office

Justgorgeous · 13/02/2022 08:23

My husband often goes out on his own walking, he doesn’t have a dog or carry anything. He’s very normal and just enjoys walking ! What is the actual purpose of this post ?

Spud1130 · 13/02/2022 08:27

Yesterday on the way to my mother in laws, I came across an older gentleman who had fallen in the road and cut his face. I first aided him and popped him in the car back home to his wife. He lived on the same cul de sac of 20 houses as my mother in law. Went to hers and told her what happened. She'd have sworn blind she knew everyone who lived on the road but had no idea who this bloke was.

You're being paranoid

MrsDThomas · 13/02/2022 08:28

Jeez OP.

Move your workspace elsewhere. You’re very nosy.

Toanewstart23 · 13/02/2022 08:28

Jogging isn’t for you op!

I’ve been a runner for years and I love the morning nods, small waves, and “good mornings”

SmallPrawnEnergy · 13/02/2022 08:38

Just thought it might be attracting potentially dangerous men.
Or men who want to get out of the area as quickly as possible with their heads down as to not attract attention, more likely.

I mean, if this is real, this level of paranoia isn’t good so therapy / doctor as opposed to mumsnet and stewing at a window like Jeff.

I haven't noticed any of them returning back up the road
I mean, surely if they were visiting a brothel they need to go home so would come back the way they walked anyway, so I’m struggling to see logic here. “I only ever see them walk in one direction therefore they must be shagging a prozzie?” Huh? Mental.

Goatinthegarden · 13/02/2022 08:39

@StScholastica

Or maybe there is something unusual (like a rare bird/rare funghi/rare plant) that they are going to see. DH is driving to Preston next week to see a belted KingFisher.

I think this thread has made me lose the plot, but now I’m imagining a huge Kingfisher holding court in the woods, whilst a group of purposeful men in their 60s make pilgrimages to see him.

Op I’m sorry you feel worried. It is a sad fact that women have to worry about safety when out jogging, but I don’t think these men sound like they pose additional risk. Carry on as normal, but just take sensible precautions. I run in daylight only and set my phone to share my location with DH. I also have an SOS button on my smart watch. DH feels completely comfortable running alone in the dark without sharing his location. It’s not fair, but it is our current reality.

StScholastica · 13/02/2022 08:59

Goatinthegarden
It is indeed a huge KingFisher (a foot tall) and the UK's twitchers have been paying pilgrimage for months.

BABAHOTEL · 13/02/2022 09:45

Dear god now men can't walk down a street? If they were visiting a prostitute as you suspect, they'd be walking back up the street surely? Unless she's killing then all?

Your ridiculously paranoid!

Next it will be lock all men in and only let them put in their gardens!

BABAHOTEL · 13/02/2022 09:47

@Justgorgeous

My husband often goes out on his own walking, he doesn’t have a dog or carry anything. He’s very normal and just enjoys walking ! What is the actual purpose of this post ?

He does what??? And you allow it?? What if a female wants to go jogging and he's just roaming around freely, like he's entitled to do that.

You should accompany him all walks, keep him on leash if he tries to walk away.

quiteathome · 13/02/2022 10:04

What are they supposed to be carrying?

Pot plants?

GirlInACountrySong · 13/02/2022 10:14

Is this what WFH is like? Spending time peering out of windows logging what the community is doing?

Aren't you supposed to be working?

FirstAconite · 13/02/2022 10:22

Given the demographic, surely these men are likely to be retired, and just going for a circular walk? I walk (purposefully) every day, taking a circular route. It's exercise, that's all.

ThoseFestiveLights · 13/02/2022 10:26

Your road ends in FIELDS and these are older men. It’s very unlikely that there is a brothel specialising in men in their sixties and far more likely they all like to walk. In fields.

Chestofdraws · 13/02/2022 12:22

@Momijin

If it is older men visiting a sex worker, why would that be a threat to you jogging?

And feel compelled to attack passing joggers en route. This is quite an odd thread.

Goatinthegarden · 13/02/2022 12:28

@StScholastica I’ve never twitched in my life, but now I’m half tempted to seek out this spectacle! 😂

BogRollBOGOF · 13/02/2022 12:53

I used to notice strangers walking past my house and intercept them, but that's because it was a dead-end and it was to stop them continuing on to the neighbour's front garden and forcing their way through the hedge into the park. I'd go for a jaunty helpful, "there's no way through this street, you'll need to use either of the parrallel roads" which tended to sort them out.

Continuing on towards fields and I'd assume some rambling/ outdoor persuit. There's a nearby dog walker who takes binoculars with him and it's better to assume an interest in ornithology rather than voyeristic tendencies. We've had some pleasant chats about the lesser spotted woodpeckers.

I head off into the fields to run and walk a lot. There is a bias towards lone people being men because they have the social confidence and often more training (e.g. through Scouts in youth) in outdoor skills which many women lack.

PinkSyCo · 13/02/2022 12:55

Ask them. ‘Hey you! Yes, you! What right have have you to be walking purposefully past my window not carrying anything? You’re making me nervous you …you…old person going about your business! I’m a jogger don’t you know?’ See what they say and come back and tell,us…

WindyState · 13/02/2022 13:24

You are being ridiculously paranoid.

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 13/02/2022 15:24

I don't think the OP is being paranoid at all. I've noticed that there's often and view on here that no one should ever take an interest in their surroundings and that nothing is ever orth being concerned about

This is exactly the sort of thing I'd notice and I'd be equally thinking oft the explanation might be
Keep your eye out and your wits about you, if you're nervous find a different running route, better safe than sorry

gemsand · 13/02/2022 15:58

Independent service providers in the sex industry who are working from their own homes will often give their clients specific instructions about where to park so that it does not attract attention to their house. This may involve parking in another street and walking to the venue. I've known one to collect her regulars from the train station carpark in her own car and drive them back to the apartment she uses.
They may also request their clients leave via a different route to the one they took to arrive at the property. This would explain why the men are seen walking past one way only. My guess would be that they are being seen after the appointment.
There is always an element of risk involved in the sex industry, but this sounds to be a provincial set-up where the SP is choosing her demographic carefully. I doubt there is much risk to the public at large if it's an independent SP working from her own home.

BABAHOTEL · 13/02/2022 16:03

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair

Get help with your paranoia, you need it!

Or maybe never got outside your door?

FFS, men now can't have a walk?

Toanewstart23 · 13/02/2022 16:05

@AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair

Specifically

What is it the OP says that you think is a cause for concern?

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