To think I shouldn't have been left to push for 4 hours?

[pinacoladaandpeanuts]

Just that really.

I have a one year old, a chronic anal fissure (sorry TMI) a damaged coccyx, awful piles which I never had before giving birth. I believe I have these issues due to how long I was expected to push for.

Great birth experience until I pushed for 4 hours and then begged for help so it ended in an episiotomy and forceps.

My physical recovery has been utterly horrendous. A year on I am still not healed and utterly traumatised by the memory of having to push for that long without assistance.

I had two midwife changeovers during that time so can't help but think I shouldn't have been left to push for that long.

Or is it totally normal??

I'm really sorry you're still suffering so much. Not sure this would help, but there's no way of knowing for sure that it was the length of pushing. Those things can often happen even with supposedly "easy" births. My fissure happened a few days after my birth for example. Was chronic for 18 months... Are you breastfeeding? Dehydration can cause fissures and piles to stay bad. Did you have any counseling to process your birth story? I'm so sorry you're still dealing with the side effects

You can ask for a birth debrief and you can ask any questions.

Have you had a midwifery debrief?

I pushed for 5 and a half hours before emergency episiotomy and forceps birth and I don't have any physical injuries from it. I second getting a debrief so you can work out what happened though.

Every body is different so there's no comparison really, someone may have only needed to push for a short time but the fast delivery caused harm others might have a prolonged pushing stage but not so intense so there's no saying really.
I don't know if it's too late for a debrief
With my first I was pushing for just over 4.5 hours but only stitches, with my 5th pushed for mere minutes but also damaged coccyx.

Not normal but it could have been the pregnancy and labour itself rather than the length of it which caused piles etc.

It's been almost 10 years since I did midwifery, but NICE guidelines back then were midwives should refer to obstetricians after one hour of pushing for women who were having a second or subsequent baby, or after two hours for women having their first, and that delivery should occur within two hours and three hours respectively of entering the second stage. Women with an epidural were given one hour from confirmation of full dilatation to starting pushing (if they had no natural urge to do so during that time).

I agree that a birth debrief may be helpful.

Women who spent hours pushing - were you consciously pushing, probably having been told to? Or was this where your body took over and did it for you?

@DaisyStPatience My midwife told me to push as soon as I was dilated enough but I refused as I didn't get the urge to push for a while. I was then induced via drip and pushed myself, after a few hours my body did it involuntarily

Definitely ask for a birth debrief. Try to see a Consultant OB/Gyne to look at your health care options and get some counselling. Gynecological health issues are particularly draining and isolating. I hope you can get some help. x

I was pushing for nearly 5 hours before one of the midwives (3 due to staff changeover and a student) decided to involve a doctor and vacuuse. It was horrendous. This was during the first lockdown, so I don't know if that was part of it.

Wound up with stitches and a lot of issues for about 6 months.

I started pushing at just gone midnight and delivered at just gone 6 after having an episiotomy and ventouse.

I had a somewhat difficult recovery and needed physio as I was left with (temporary) incontinence.

Yes ask for a birth debrief but don’t let them minimise anything you feel. Unfortunately maternal healthcare is shit,

There’s debates about exact numbers but it’s estimated between 20-40,000 new mothers get ptsd from birth each year in the UK up to 25% of new mothers experiences at least one symptom of ptsd. So if you feel traumatised by your experience that’s very normal and please seek help.