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to expect people to say thank you when I cook for them and look after them

10 replies

SayNOtothecookieRookie · 01/01/2008 13:38

We have just had DHs family to stay. I really like having them here, its nice for DS to play with his cousins and they are good to spend time with him even though he is 21mths and they are a lot older.

BUT AIBU to expect that when I produce dinner two nights in a row, people might acknowledge it by at least going "Yum thats tasty, thanks Rookie" or something like that, this is not just the teenagers also their Mum & Dad. I know they liked what I cooked as they had second helpings

Or when doing numerous tea & drink runs that it might be acknowledged. I have no problem with looking after visitors but I just thought it was common courtesy to express gratitude for this.

OP posts:

mumeeee · 01/01/2008 13:42

It is good for people to tjank you. But they might just have forgotten I know I have been guily of this in the past,


mumeeee · 01/01/2008 13:43

I meant Thank you!


smartiejake · 01/01/2008 13:44

No YANBU it's common curtesy. They are very ill mannered. I would be horrified if my dds behaved like this and for adults it is even more inexcusable.


JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 01/01/2008 13:46

YANBU, it's common courtesy. I have the opposite thing at my mils, I make sure I always say thankyou and compliment her cooking, and she just looks at me like I'm a weirdo, and everyone looks embarassed (perhaps because the rest of mils family never say thankyou?)


JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 01/01/2008 13:47



perpetualworrier · 01/01/2008 13:48

You're absolutely right of course they should have said thank you, so YANBU, but if their actions i.e having seconds show that they were thankful and they have been good to have a round, please don't spend any thing brooding on it. That's the way family feuds start.

My in-laws would always say thank you, then no-one can say they didn't, but they would make it perfectly clear they'd rather be anywhere else while they were here (although of course they wouldn't say so, that would be rude).


SayNOtothecookieRookie · 01/01/2008 15:17

You're right perpetualworrier, it isn't a major thing and probably just the way they are and yes they are good to have and its only for a couple of days and my period has just started when we are ttc so I'm also slightly oversensitive at the minute.

OP posts:

yurt1 · 01/01/2008 15:24

A certain family member who will remain nameless always (well not always but too often) says that she 'feels sick' whenever I produce a meal. She then pushes the food around on her plate, has 2 mouthfulls, says she feels to sick to eat then sits there drinking wine. Funnily enough I don't make that much effort to cook when they're visiting anymore (everyone else eats it and asks for seconds so its not like it's inedible).


MrsTittleMouse · 01/01/2008 20:08

YANBU, it's rude. I bet they never even thought about it.
Could you get your DH and DCs to praise your cooking and see if they catch on? Mind you, if you're cooking for his family I should hope that your DH thanks you anyway!


miobombino · 01/01/2008 20:21

Yurt, steer her vigorously towards the bathroom with a bucket and you can all eat your meal in peace...pop your head round the door and ask if she's OK of course

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