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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to give up on close friendship?

4 replies

Fattybumbum123 · 11/02/2022 19:26

Good evening...I've deliberated on whether to post as feel it may be longwinded but my head is in a spin about what to do.

I've been best friends with B for 25 years and have experienced a lot of highs and lows, always been there for each other with a listening ear/shoulder to cry on etc. She has truly felt like my soul sister.

Around a year ago now we both became "faith" inquisitive. B was brought up a Christian whereas my parents never had any strong feelings either way regarding religion. As we got to teenage years B rebelled and up until a year ago neither of us ever really spoke about God/religion.

B asked me to attend a church with her that she had been told about as it had a modern spin on the services, think rock band type environment. I went along and everyone seemed welcoming and that was that.

Shortly afterwards, B bumped into a parent who goes to said church and they started going for coffee/ walks and chatted about God, the Bible etc. Quite quickly B seemed to develop some very strong views that I didn't entirely share. I put all of this to one side because I didn't want to loose our friendship but as time has gone on B has become more and more distant and her views on what is right and wrong have got stronger and stronger.

I honestly don't know what to talk to her about anymore, she is so distant, she believes what she believes in is right and everyone else's faith is wrong eg epilepsy is actually devil possession and not a medical condition, gay marriage is wrong and the devil has played a part etc

I have tried to stand by her and keep our conversations off the subject but it's as though she's obsessed. She no longer listens to pop music as it's orchestrated by the devil, she doesn't watch normal TV anymore and even more worrying, she dragging her two young children into all of this.

I've lost her haven't I? If you've got this far thanks for reading and I've honestly not meant to cause offence to anyone.

OP posts:
AnakinthePadawhine · 11/02/2022 19:41

If her values do clash to much with yours, you would not be unreasonable to cool it with the friendship.

KaptainKaveman · 11/02/2022 19:47

Unfortunately she has fallen victim to religious extremism. You'll get nowhere.

Lollypop701 · 11/02/2022 19:56

She may calm down so I’d keep lines of communication open but back off tbh

coffeeisthebest · 11/02/2022 20:16

Wow, she is right in the thick of it, isn't she! Yes I would accept that perhaps temporarily you are going to need to step backwards or openly decide to tell her you disagree with what she is saying. I find that level of fundamentalism really hard going so usually just swerve away when I realise there is no space for grey areas or ambiguity when talking to them.

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