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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bridesmaids

23 replies

Vloggamammy · 11/02/2022 18:07

Who thinks 9 is too many ? Just seen the wedding party of a friend and theres a matron of honour, a maid of honour, 7 bridesmaids and two flower girls ? I mean I had 1 bridesmaid at my wedding . Groom is also having 9 - isnt that huge ?

OP posts:
AdhdFridaysss · 11/02/2022 18:13

Is it your wedding? If you're not the one paying for it can't see why you care.

And for what it's worth, I didn't have any bridesmaids.

gettingolderandgrumpy · 11/02/2022 18:42

Well if they want that many it’s up to them it’s added costs but so what . I also had 1 but not a big wedding.

Prescottdanni123 · 11/02/2022 18:42

It is larger than average but the bridge and groom are entitled to have whatever size wedding party that they like.

Gritch · 11/02/2022 18:44

I had 4 bridesmaids and 2 flower girls and my mother did point out she thought that was way too many. Entirely up to the bride though!

Vloggamammy · 11/02/2022 18:47

Interesting answers yes I just find it really big , wondering if it was a new trend or something. I should also point out it's in America if that even makes a difference.

OP posts:
TheSmallAssassin · 11/02/2022 18:48

Of course they are entitled to have as many as they want, but yes, it is ridiculous and we're entitled to think that.

piglet81 · 11/02/2022 18:49

I think it’s more than slightly OTT. They do go in for large wedding parties in the US though - I remember from years ago when I was a regular on a mostly US-based board. Normally bridesmaids buy their own dresses there so that changes the picture somewhat.

DijfunvKd · 11/02/2022 18:50

That's absolutely ludicrous.

Zazdar · 11/02/2022 18:52

It’s your wedding. Have as many as you like.

I didn’t have any.

SisterAgatha · 11/02/2022 18:53

I’d not have that many but I don’t have much family so no nieces or cousins etc to have out of duty. I probably could rustle up 9 but I’d have barely any regular guests, they’d all be part of the wedding party!

AdhdFridaysss · 11/02/2022 18:53

Yes definitely more common to have big bridal party in the US! Still can't muster up the energy to care/find it weird though. Every country and culture has different norms. To each their own!

traintraveller · 11/02/2022 18:53

Its more than average where I am but possibly not in America. Starting a thread on MN where weddings are hatedgetting people to slag her off doesn't make you much of a friend

Zazdar · 11/02/2022 18:53

OK, It’s not your wedding.

In that case it’s ridiculous.Grin

Vloggamammy · 11/02/2022 18:55

@AdhdFridaysss

Yes definitely more common to have big bridal party in the US! Still can't muster up the energy to care/find it weird though. Every country and culture has different norms. To each their own!
LOL true - my hubby often says this about things to me he'll say "why do you care " .
OP posts:
DSGR · 11/02/2022 18:55

How fab for them, hope they have a wonderful day (glad you’re not my friend)

peboh · 11/02/2022 18:55

Why does it matter? She clearly has a lot of friends, and she wants them all to be included in her special day and stand beside her. I think that's lovely honestly.

Hadjab · 11/02/2022 18:56

Oh, this again 🙄

JustHavinABreak · 11/02/2022 18:59

Had 4 myself and 4 groomsmen (mainly to avoid offending anyone Grin. Your friends wedding sounds like a right hoo-ha but if they're not asking you to pay for it, I can't see the issue. Anyway, America specialises in super-size weddings!

Normandy144 · 11/02/2022 19:00

I think it's way too many. I think you should only have as many bridesmaids as you can afford outfits, hair and makeup for but that's just my opinion. I think it's pretty crass to ask someone to be a bridesmaid and pay for their own dress etc. It's becoming a lot more common though because it seems to be standard etiquette in the US.

peboh · 11/02/2022 19:02

@Normandy144

I think it's way too many. I think you should only have as many bridesmaids as you can afford outfits, hair and makeup for but that's just my opinion. I think it's pretty crass to ask someone to be a bridesmaid and pay for their own dress etc. It's becoming a lot more common though because it seems to be standard etiquette in the US.
Why are you assuming the person op is talking about can't afford all of those things for their bridesmaids? Also I don't think that is necessary. My oldest friend is getting married this summer, and can't justify the costs of paying for everything for her bridesmaid, but we're all happy to pay our own hair/makeup and dresses because we want to stand by her on her big day.
AdhdFridaysss · 11/02/2022 19:09

People are so judgy about weddings. Can you imagine doing this at any other family event.

Like at Aunt Mary's 80th "oooh don't you think she just has too many grandkids, how excessive of her children"

Or Uncle Peter's funeral "wow isn't the casket a bit much. Too many speeches and didn't like the music selection"

Vloggamammy · 11/02/2022 19:19

@JustHavinABreak

Had 4 myself and 4 groomsmen (mainly to avoid offending anyone Grin. Your friends wedding sounds like a right hoo-ha but if they're not asking you to pay for it, I can't see the issue. Anyway, America specialises in super-size weddings!
LOL yes there is always the issue of not wanting to offend . I had a small wedding and pretty sure I annoyed a lot of extended family but it was all I could afford .
OP posts:
Thenextmrsreacher · 11/02/2022 19:30

It had to be in America.

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