How would you take this?

[Ravenclaws]

Recently reconnected with an old acquaintance. I wouldn't say friend as we never were close. We worked in the same building for a while and had some mutual friends but never had one on one chats or anything. Although we do have each other on social media.

Anyway she's a perfectly nice person and it turns out we are both due with little boys in July. She reached out to me (never would have occurred to me to message her as like I said we were never friends) to ask about my pregnancy and make general chit chat. A few back and forth messages every week or so and she suggested meeting for a coffee which I agreed to.

I thought it was a nice meeting, not awkward, lots to talk about. She seems very well off and spoke a lot about her house. She actually invited me back to hers after the cafe for the grand tour. Lovely home, husband, life etc. We left it on good terms and I thought I'd made a new 'mum friend'.

However since then she hasn't been in touch at all and she was the usually the one to initiate contact once a week or so. I messaged her last week just to see how she is and the message has been read but not replied to.

I'm not particularly upset. It's not like I've lost a friend and I don't intend to get in touch again however I can't help but take it a little personally that she was so keen on being friends until she actually spent some time with me! I really don't think I said or did anything wrong but maybe I'm just not her cup of tea. How would you take this?

Maybe she's had a problem with her pregnancy or an illness. Is she posting on SM?

She might have read it and got distracted. I do that all the time. Or she might have had some bad news.

That is a good point. She isn't but she's not active on social media often anyway. I do hope she's alright but it feels a bit intrusive to bother her again after one message has gone ignored.

I'd take it like she is not a great person TBH. Sounds like she is quite superficial and I would think you've had a close shave. I wouldn't want to be 'friends' with someone like that, especially when bringing a new baby into the world. If you can honestly hand on heart say that you didn't do anything offensive, then you are better off without her in your life. If you did do something that she has took as offensive but not explained why, then again, you are better off without.

I don't think it'd hurt to text and say "I hope everything's ok. If you fancy going for another coffee let me know."

Gives her a chance to respond without being pushy and if she doesn't answer you'll know where you stand for certain.

Could be a few things maybe not her cup of tea or maybe she has other things going on. As you weren’t really friends before I wouldn’t reach out again. Shame it didn’t work to have a new mum friend, but I’d look at it as one of life’s mysteries and move on

If you just messaged with a chit chat type “how are you?” then I wouldn’t read much into it: a lot of people don’t see that sort of thing as requiring a time bound response (I’m one of them.) Either follow up or wait for her to suggest meeting again.

If she’d found you boring then presumably she wouldn’t have chosen to extend your meet by inviting you back home, she’d have cut it short in the cafe with the excuse of “must be off, such a busy afternoon planned” etc.

she was the usually the one to initiate contact once a week or so

Perhaps she got fed up with always being the one to initiate contact and so decided to give up on the friendship?

I don’t think it’s weird, she might have stuff going on

she was the usually the one to initiate contact once a week or so

She might have stuff going on, she might have expected a thank you for inviting me to you home and hoping for a return invitation or she might just have wanted an audience to reassure her her life is going well.

No way of knowing, really is there?

Would you like to keep I touch?