To expect better care than this?

[HarreePotter]

Tldr.. had a cystoscope and they made comments about my anatomy whilst I was wide awake and I had no numbing at all for the entire procedure

Right so I had a cystoscope today to check for issues I've been having with bleeding when I pee. Firstly the men I was sat with in the waiting area were all having general anaesthesia, the women nothing..

Secondly. When it was my turn the nurses used the numbing lube on my vulva and clitoral area and couldn't find my urethra at all. In the end it took 4-5 clinicians ferreting about in my vulval area to locate my urethra and the doctor was so excited to have found it way up inside the vaginal vault they inserted the scope with absolutely no lube or numbing whatsoever so the entire procedure felt like I had glass up there. The leading dr was explaining to the original dr who tried to find my urethra that I had really unusual anatomy as usually it's between the clitoris and vaginal opening.. now I'm a bloody nurse and I pass catheters on a daily basis and I'd say that's not very unusual, we all have different anatomy and sometimes people are different. I don't usually feel anything when I have procedures as I have crohns and I'm used to invasive things but this was something else. I just felt really violated and horrible. When the first person squirted instillagel on my vulva she obviously couldn't find my urethra but to have 5 people all ferreting about saying 'oh this is really unusual, where do you pee from?' 'She must* have one!' it was like I was a piece of meat.

Thirdly as I was directed to get changed into my clothes after the procedure I was talking to the hca making general conversation and she said 'oh I can see you're engaged? That'll change when you get married' what the F? I wasn't wearing my wedding ring because it's being repaired but I've actually been married 6 years!

Anyway! I'm still in pain now and I'm thinking of making a complaint, not a big one but more of a 'please think about your patients' I am a nurse but I don't do cystoscopes and I've never had one before today but it feels a bit like a cultural issue. Aibu to raise a complaint?

I wasn't expecting amazing things but I did expect professional behaviour?

Wow. Did you say anything at the time about the pain? That is awful, and treating you like you were a dummy being used to train people on, talking "about" you as if you weren't right there. I'm so sorry.

I think it's worth making a complaint in the manner you say. I've had procedures 'down there' even with actual students present but I've never been made to feel anything other than comfortable.

@TibetanTerrah yes I did. I said I didn't feel particularly happy about being spoken about like I was weird and different and they stopped talking entirely but didn't offer to withdraw the scope and put any numbing gel on or inside.

The more I think about it the worse it feels if I'm honest. Women deserve equality in health care. Why don't we do blanket ga across the board If men need one for a ga?

I don’t understand the engaged/married comment. What will change when you’re married? Hard to know if that’s complaint worthy without knowing what she was referring to.

I deliberately didn't comment on the GA thing as I was in danger of going off on a rant if you mention that in your complaint you will no doubt be fobbed off that their procedures were different but there is a male/female discrepancy in care and pain relief, there's no two ways about it.

I think when you're essentially at your most vulnerable, with strangers rummaging around your bits, the training needs to be absolutely solid that the first priority is that the patient is comfortable, both physically and mentally.

In your position I would push hard about 1) how much pain you were in with inadequate relief and no consideration of that at all and 2) the complete ignorance of your need to feel as at ease and comfortable as possible, not least because it makes their job easier if you're not tense but also your vulnerability in that situation.

@DragonMovie I was confused too! She meant I wouldn't want to be married when I was because she had 2 failed marriages.. it was all very odd

God help us! This is awful, I’m so sorry you had to endure this, it’s appalling treatment but I’ve also not had too much luck with nhs. Except one lovely prescribing nurse who gave me ovestin when other doctors were refusing.

There’s millions of women being diagnosed with incurable interstitial cystitis when it’s actually a chronic UTI embedded in the bladder, UTI dipstick tests have been known for decades to miss 50% of infections. Dr Malone-Lee is curing women with long term antibiotics and just looking at fresh urine sample under microscope.

Sorry to rant but there’s a huge healthcare gap between men and women. Have you seen the Baroness Cumberlege Report: First Do No Harm?

How bizarre… they definitely need to work on their bedside chat!

And you should definitely complain, even if just to make you feel like you did something about it. This event sounds traumatic so perhaps if you ‘take control’ now and complain to PALS it might help your state of mind and healing.

Sorry, English is not my first language, I didn’t mean to sound like I’m victim blaming or anything, I’m cringing now at my post! Really sorry and hope it doesn’t offend you

YABU if you don't use your professional clout to raise this and complain most robustly.
You and your unusual urethra rock, fannies come in all shapes and sizes and styles (body piercer here!) and the incompetent fools have behaved cruelly and with zero regard for your physical and mental well being. Unprofessional bellends.
for you (and your poor vagina).

Sorry to hear this and I would definitely complain op. Apart from the unnecessary pain, their treatment of you was so unprofessional, talking about you as if you weren't there, without sensitivity to you being in a very vulnerable position.

I complained about something much less. I had had had an operation that day and was woken up in a private room (that is, I was alone) at 3 am by a male nurse yanking out my catheter. He hadn't bothered to wake me up beforehand or introduce himself or explain what he was doing. He actually had his hands on me as I woke up, his demeanour seemed quite angry and aggressive and he never said one word. I felt really scared and vulnerable but was too shocked to say anything. It didn't help that he was really tall and physically large which of course he couldn't help but I felt intimidated.

I didn't complain through pals but mentioned it to my (female) consultant when I saw her next. She didn't seem to think it was that unusual but she listened and took notes. Anyway, they never apologise do they, but she did say she had mentioned it to the senior nursing staff so that's something I suppose.

Yes I think you should complain, you're in such a vulnerable position when you have to have medical professionals touching or looking at your vulva for whatever reason. They ought to be more sensitive and protect your dignity as far as possible, it doesn't sound very dignified when they're passing comments amongst themselves about your vulva. And don't get me started on the lack of GA and just the poor level of care in general. Women always receive worse care than men, it is a disgrace tbh. Did you question them why the men were getting it and you weren't?

Jeez OP I'm clenching my thighs reading. Wtf. You're more tolerant than me. I'd have gone ballistic. Utter bollox care. And to feel it's ok for women to endure it. Did they think they were doing an autopsy?
I'd be pursuing it.
Big hug to you. I hope you recover soon.

I'm so sorry that you have had this experience, it sounds appalling. I'm a healthcare professional too, & you are doing the right thing in making a complaint about the poor quality care you received. Having been in a situation where I had a dislocated shoulder & wasn't given pain relief for over an hour I understand how vulnerable & violated you can feel as a patient, you question yourself & put up with inadequacy.

My complaint to PALS about the lack of pain relief, poor attitudes & near assault in the x-ray department was glossed over & if similar happened now I would also make a complaint to the local CCG & if necessary NHS England. The staff in your case sound unprofessional & absolutely clueless & it's not good enough, it is abuse.

This healthwatch advice might be helpful www.citizensadvice.org.uk/health/nhs-and-social-care-complaints/nhs-complaints-who-is-your-complaint-against/nhs-hospital-complaints/

I made a complaint, via pals and the Friends and family form thing they had at reception.

I do not think my care was acceptable and I am still sore from the procedure. It feels like I'm pissing glass tbh and I feel sore even whilst sitting.

God women really do have shitty care don't we?