Am I wrong to be so mad....

[Holly524]

Hello, so today my 7 year old daughter has come home from her friends house. She went for tea after school and we picked her up at 6pm. I only know her Mum to say hello to but her daughter has been to ours before for tea and they are in the same class so all ok.

My daughter came home and told me she and her friend been allowed to go on their own to the park without any adults. This is two 7 year olds. The park is probably 4 minute walk away from their house but isn't visable its round the corner. When on the park my daughter fell over and cut her knee.

For context I have never allowed her to go to the park on her own but also never specified that to the Mum of her friend. I guess I didnt think this was needed.

AIBU to be really cross about this?

YANBU I would be upset, worried and cross.
Only 7 years old.

I'd be fuming

I wouldn't be fuming but if it were me, I would have checked with you / the other parent first prior to the trip that's for sure. Sorry to hear your little one got hurt, is she ok?

I would be absolutely livid with this. !

There's a lot of IFS there for whether I would. But ...
I'm surprised the other parent did not check that out with you. If a child is in your care you surely run things like unsupervised time past their parents. That I couldn't get past.

7 year olds?!?! I'd be absolutely outraged. I'd expect to be asked if they were 10 let alone 7.

That being said, I personally wouldn't allow a playdate with a mum I only know in passing - I have to know someone well before I entrust them with my child, but that's me. Still she was completely unreasonable to allow this.

This is what happens when you let your child go to houses of people you don’t really know...

She should have checked with you. I wouldn’t have been happy about this. Maybe fine if they were playing outside the front of the house for a bit, but not a park out of sight. I wonder whether any members of the public spotted them and wondered what was going on? Poor you x

I'd go nuclear.

Wtf was she thinking?

I would let me children go for a play with someone I don’t know that much but only if I’d sussed them out first x

I would be annoyed. My daughter takes her friends to the park which is literally right outside my house like right by my front garden and clearly visible from the window and I'd still check that was ok if a child was visiting!

Yeah I’d be quite angry

At 7, yes I'd be really cross.

Yep wouldn't be happy about that at all.
My dd is 10 and even then l wouldn't be happy!

Thanks all. Yes I get maybe it doesn't make sense that I don't really know the Mum but she is in her class has been to birthday parties and her child has been to our house before. I just felt it should have been asked if that was something I was ok with.

I wouldn't have a problem with them going to the park but the parents should have checked with you 1st. My 8 yr old rides his bike over to his friend's and they go to the park to play football. Lots of the local kids do the same. I'm comfortable with it. I would definitely ask the parents if he had a friend over that didn't live on our estate

I guess if you knew the other mum you would know what her boundaries were so YABU for sending your child to pretty much a strangers house.

I would not be happy, and would not allow another visit. I only allow my 10 year old to go to the shop opposite the family home this year. I think 7 is way too young to be left unsupervised. I used to walk home from school at 7 alone but times have changed.

@Kshhuxnxk

I guess if you knew the other mum you would know what her boundaries were so YABU for sending your child to pretty much a strangers house.

So genuine question, if your child came to ask if they could go to a friends for tea and you didn't know the Mum that well would you say no? My daughter has been to her Birthday party and her friend has been to our house for tea.

Nope definitely too young. I have a 7 year old daughter and teach a class of Year 2. There is no way any of them are sensible enough to be trusted alone.

Yes you're unreasonable. You allowed your daughter to go to a person's house without knowing this child's mother.

You have no idea what sort of house she runs and quite clearly no idea what her view is on appropriate child independence - yet you allowed your child to go because you 'assumed' her parenting style would match yours - but on what basis?

When I read this - I'm thinking two things- first I cannot believe this woman allowed the kids to go to the park, and secondly - I cannot believe you allowed your daughter to go to someone's house who you barely know.

Chalk it up to a lesson learned because thankfully, apart from a fall, your daughter came to no harm.

But do you have grounds to be mad? No, other than to be mad at yourself. We all make mistakes though, so like I say - for me this would be a 'well that was an error in my own judgement and I won't be doing that again'.

I am glad yr DD is okay, and I’d be raging in your shoes too. I think take this as a heads up that not all parents think the same as you about all sorts of stuff. And sadly some are very lax with child safety.

I remember when my dc was in year 1 or 2 and was going to a friends for tea, someone I’d become friends with / dc friends in same class etc. Usually they walked home but in this case DDad was collecting them in the car - I rocked up with the booster seat before school in case they didn’t have a spare to be told by the mum ‘Oh we don’t really bother with those anymore’ - kids were 5/6! I just said well I do, please take this and use it. But it was something I was really aware of after that.