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Worried my partner will tire of me after I suggested he likes his colleague

6 replies

Cheesestring11 · 10/02/2022 07:45

I won't go into the details but for me there had been a couple of behaviours from him that suggested he liked her, not necessarily mutual but I just felt something.

I have already previously spoken to him once or twice about some concerns but i didn't outwardly ask if he liked her as such.

Anyway something happened and I decided to just confront him otherwise it would be eating away at me. He said it wasn't the case at all and he didn't like her in that way.

I guess even if he did he'd never admit it but I am having to accept that people in happy relationships still do have crushes sometimes and that it's human nature.

There's nothing at all I can do so the best approach for me would be to never mention it again, which I haven't done since. I saw the other day he was texting her because she'd heard he was unwell but I just got out a book and put any thoughts to the back of my mind.

Things have still seemed great since but I feel anxious inside of me and stressed. What if he tells people what I said or decides I'm too much of a jealous sort.

For the record I don't think I am. In the 2 years I've been with him I've never otherwise suggested he likes someone else. I'd say there have been 3-4 times in 2 years where I've felt a little jealous because of comments he'd made or whatever, we discussed it and moved on but that's all. He has some female friends etc. And we have our own interests, nights out and so on.

I'm trying to work on this, I know it is normal to feel jealousy from time to time as long as we recognize it and try to overcome it.

OP posts:
ohhooh · 10/02/2022 08:01

@Cheesestring11

I remember your previous posts - tbh if he's saying he doesn't like her, you need to let it go.

If you continually bring this person up, compare yourself to her and nag him about it, then it'll ruin your relationship. I'd be sick of my DP if he did that.

People can like and get along with other people without it being a "crush".

Why are you anxious inside and stressed? There seems there is no answer he can give to your repeated questions will make this feeling go away, so you need to either work on your feelings and help yourself or figure out if you can continue in a relationship where you feel that way.

Cheesestring11 · 10/02/2022 08:03

I haven't posted about it before on here , I'm anxious at feeling like I've messed things up but you're right I have to just never mention it again like I have been

OP posts:
SartresSoul · 10/02/2022 08:29

Everyone has different boundaries but I don’t think I’d be able to live with DH having a massive crush on someone at work to the extent he was sitting texting her beside me personally. If you feel you can live with this then fine but I don’t think I could.

MinnieJackson · 10/02/2022 08:48

Have you ever been cheated on before @Cheesestring11 it's hard as I wouldn't want to be accused but if you have a bit feeling sometimes it's hard to ignore.

ohhooh · 10/02/2022 09:20

@Cheesestring11

You have a previous thread about partners and romantic feelings towards friends don't you?

TabithaTittlemouse · 10/02/2022 09:25

What was the something that happened

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