To think if I talk about academic accomplishments it won't go down well

[NCWorkQn]

I wasn't sure where to post this and it's more of a WWYD but I know AIBU gets the most traffic and I'm hoping for help.

I've got to do an awful work thing where all recent new hires 'present ourselves' to our wider team (about 80 attendees around the globe) - for anyone familiar with corporate BS speak it's like a fireside chat - I'm going to be one of 3 in the session. We will be asked pre-defined interview style questions and then the attendees can ask us other questions if they want (urgh). I am not a manager/leader or remotely close to that level so I am not v happy about having to do this.

Anyway, one of the questions is to describe an accomplishment we're most proud of - personal or professional - and I have no idea what to say. I know the other 2 have really interesting personal things they've done, but I genuinely feel like I've nothing I can talk about.

The only thing remotely relevant is that I did v well academically - at undergrad and postgrad (not even a PhD though) and got an academic scholarship. But I'm pretty sure if I talk about that I will sound like a complete knob and as someone with their head up their backside.

On paper, it's really the only thing I've achieved, but if I could be really honest (which I can't) then I'd have a long list that includes functioning with a severe anxiety disorder, reconciling with my biological mother, looking after my elderly parents and living a relatively normal life despite my past.

I don't have children by choice and I've never volunteered, or climbed mountains, or done anything wow. I'm married and financially stable (which I'm very grateful for) but that's really it. And I am happy with being boring and stable, but I know it's probably not going to go down well in corporate land (not that I normally care but I really like this job and hope I can survive a few years at least).

What would you do if you were me - mention the academic stuff or not? Or can anyone think of a fake accomplishment that I wouldn't get caught fibbing about ?

Blood doning is good. Do you know how many pints. Maybe say proud to have donated pint number 10 or whatever.

My advice is keep your accomplishments professional examples. Your scholarship is perfect.

I’m not sure about the blood donating one. Purely because it is something lots of people do. Your scholarship is definitely something not many people achieve. I liked the suggestion that someone said about talking about also talking about what achievement you would like to do next.
So, you talk about how your recent big achievement is your scholarship and post grad study. It was xxxxx, you studied it because xxxx, you learned more than just the academic side eg xxxxx, it has taken your focus over the last few years and now that it is done in 2022, you plan to focus on settling into and achieving in xx company and also take on a new personal challenge eg parkrun,

Are there any previous sessions on work system so you can gauge how to pitch it.

Please just say your scholarship. It’s the most authentic answer. Don’t bow down and make yourself smaller.

I much prefer academic to blood donor. I’d also worry about global audience with blood donor eg in some countries I think it’s paid not altruistic like here.
Was it a particular scholarship etc. I’m thinking if it was the ‘Mary Smith ’ award for women in STEM you can say a bit about benefactor and why scholarships/mentoring are close to your heart etc.

Why is when your skills are physical you are allowed to talk about them but not when they are academic. If you'd run a marathon that would be fair game, but post grad degree alongside working that requires hard work, dedication and skill we feel is bragging?

Honestly I would talk about your scholarship, or post grad/masters thesis something like that. These are strangers it's not worth talking about something personal, and if the others say "I climbed everest" or "I was the world Latin champion" and you say I'm a blood donor it seems a bit insignificant. Possibly prepare a couple of options depending on how the situation is going

Your skills are academic, be proud of that and talk about it. You can talk about your academic acheivements without bragging.

Can you just built it out around the scholarship and create a story out of it.

Something like:-
I'm probably most proud of my final degree year, there was a lot happening personally, plus I was moving house/town & renovating the house etc. while my partner was also moving jobs etc. Had a small accident with my foot at the same time so hoppled through a lot of it etc. There was a lot going on it the one year and probably the busiest time of my life but all went well in the end and even up getting a scholarship as a result which I was thrilled & surprised with given all the things I was juggling at the time.

Makes you sound human, good at multi tasking, academic capable and modest by expressing surprise it. Just pick your topic and add a few twists & turns to the story to make it more detailed & build a story around it.

I get you want to retain privacy OP - it's your job.
Why not mention the academics though? Is the reality that you sailed through effortlessly and in fact disgraced your abilities by not winning every prize and accolade in sight? Well, if it is, I'd still be tempted just to, um, fib and say your results were the outcome of enormous hard work, that you found it hard at first etc.
Then you have something to say and TBH your minutes are covered.
Nobody cares all that much if it's any comfort.

Also, highlighting that you can work hard and do well AT WHAT YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING is no bad thing in the workplace, particularly if the management have had to cope with Tim the Triathlete falling asleep over his keyboard during heavy training weeks

OP - I don't know what you should say, but it's clear that you are downplaying your achievements massively. I don't know why that is but you need to try not to!

You've got great academic qualifications. You're a blood donor. I bet there are loads more things that you could say but you're shrugging them off as if they're nothing.

The problem isn't that you have nothing to say, it's that you aren't seeing your own achievements as good enough - they are! So just go for it!

I'd talk about your postgrad study. Not in terms of the result/qualification (nobody cares) but in terms of what you did on the course that's a bit different.
The PP who mentioned her Honours Thesis on Soviet Industrial Polices 1929-1931. I'd be fascinated by something like that.

That sounds really hideous. Like others I’d go with your scholarship. Why do they make everyone do that conversation? I can’t imagine you’ll be the only one who is nervous.

Hi OP. I don’t know if this is too late to be of use but my thoughts are as follows:

1. Please don’t think if this as a terrible ordeal and something that the company should not be doing. I work in a corporate type environment and I wish mine did more of this- they are terrible at introducing new colleagues and it really helps working relationships if you know a bit about a person’s background and have been introduced to them before you suddenly find yourselves working together. However I have one big caveat to this- I am talking about professional background only. I don’t need to know about my new colleagues’ hobbies or family structure or favourite foods. In fact I think that sharing that sort of thing can result in unconscious bias and I’d discourage it. What I do want to know is where they worked before, what roles they did, what they are hoping to get involved in at my organisation and yes, what their academic background is, if relevant to the job- which most are.

Does that make sense? I do want to see my colleagues as living, breathing people, but their work personas only. That doesn’t mean we can’t share a laugh or a joke together, but nothing personal. Fortunately it looks like the “/personal” but is entirely optional for this event. So ignore it and go with “professional” instead. Which makes me think- you mention a your academic achievements but what about things you have done in previous jobs? Might those be a good thing to talk about? I say this because sometimes if you focus on what might be quite a long-ago academic achievement it gives the impression that you peaked early and have done nothing very interesting since!

As another poster said, if this is 80 people around the globe, most of them will be much less intrinsically modest than the British and will be pleased to hear about your academic and professional achievements. Now is NOT the time to go all self-deprecating and whimsical. You can do it without coming across as smug or boastful, I promise you.
Good luck.

I agree with another poster, men are never shy about sharing their academic achievements in these kind of contexts.

If you really don't want to talk about that then just lie.

"A number of years ago I [ran a marathon, did a sponsored swim, swam the channel, walked up a big hill, whatever] and raised money for a local charity"

Just make sure it won't come back to bite you

For me you're missing the point of the question which is why you've chosen that example, why you are proud of it. You could also pick something recent that isn't your "biggest" achievement but might be something relevant or topical and frame it that way? I just think sometimes people bring up things they did in the past that now aren't very relevant e.g. won an Olympic medal in sailing 30 years ago and never sailed again - that is a great achievement but doesn't seem to have any bearing on your life or you as a person now. So absolutely use your scholarship as an example (it sounds like a good one!) but make sure you answer the "so what" question that will be on everyone's mind.

IME, some men might not be shy though that doesn't mean that other men don't judge them harshly for being pretentious. I recall a circle of death with increasing pretentiousness - "I'm head of X." 'I'm European Director of Y". "I'm global head of Z'. "I do stuff" then increasing mickey taking of the pretentiousness. Some might criticise the non-celebration of success though I didn't see gendered behaviour celebrating men and down-playing women, just a lack of appetite for pomposity. As I suggested earlier, important to read the room as different cultures have different expectations.

@Toooldtocareanymore

not quite the same but a friend a few years back prepping for an interview board, we prepared the same questions, and he replied with my mother would say it was getting named academic achievement from x university, however i would say it is keeping the cactus on my desk alive..he said it was very well received - was even told at end they looked forward to meeting the cacti

I like this, say this! Honestly something like this or what @lanthanum said is best. I get a bit bored of people’s ‘personal achievements’ actually a lot of them are really basic, like ‘running a marathon’. Doesn’t tell me much about them

My parents used to send a Christmas letter with news of how we were getting on. I tried to avoid them putting anything about my A-level results by saying that my greatest achievement that year was coming in at 12.45am without them noticing!

AH OP just RTFT and realised that this is a marketing thing, not for new colleagues.
As a woman in IT sorry to say there are lots doing this nonsense and the key is telling a ‘compelling story’.

The people who do the actual work are far too busy to indulge in this.

Tell them you have anxiety disorder, and therefore it is a reasonable workplace adjustment for you not to attend this BS ‘event’. Urgh. Public speaking isn’t part of your job for a reason. Honestly, how do companies maintain any staff numbers at these places?!

I know someone who was asked to speak to a colleague, in the capacity of team leader - not his job, not his comfort-zone - and to avoid it, he purposefully damaged his own car in order to call the AA and legitimately be late for work!

@sanbeiji

AH OP just RTFT and realised that this is a marketing thing, not for new colleagues. As a woman in IT sorry to say there are lots doing this nonsense and the key is telling a ‘compelling story’.

The people who do the actual work are far too busy to indulge in this.

No, she says all recent new hires 'present ourselves' to our wider team. It’s an internal introduction to her colleagues, not to clients I don’t think?

OP, what are the academic backgrounds of the team like? To give you an example from my own workplace (big pharma). Almost all of my colleagues have PhDs and nobody really discusses them as they’re taken as a given. So if a new starter without a PhD highlighted academic achievement (unless they’d invented a blockbuster drug or similar ballpark), most people would be a bit and it would miss the mark.

Likewise, I wouldn’t talk about climbing Mt Blanc to a group of folk who’d climbed Everest. My point being, you need to know a bit about your audience in order to pitch your message right.