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AIBU?

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Would you have continued this friendship?

13 replies

Cheesestring11 · 08/02/2022 17:15

It was with a man who I had both been on a course and worked with, he was 20 years older than me and married with kids.

Had to work closely with him on projects. Initially he'd tell me that I was 'very pretty' but it was in response to me being depressed about not being able to meet a serious boyfriend so I thought he was just trying to be nice.

However I then changed my profile picture once on WhatsApp and he told me "Wow, I bet the boys at your school love you."

He invited me to his once for tea when his wife and kids were there, and once alone to help him with coursework, I don't know why I went. My parents dropped me off and thought he was a bit weird (I was 24 at the time).

Anyway one day out of nowhere he texted me saying 'If I weren't happily married, I'd whisk you away in a heartbeat."

I didn't even reply anything, I was lost for words.
Found it so disrespectful to his wife, I'd be gutted if my partner even thought that about another woman let alone said it.

Just kept a lot of distance since, very occasional happy birthday message etc. But haven't seen him in years now. Looking back i should have told him where to go.

Would you be happy with your partner saying such things?

OP posts:
Thatsplentyjack · 08/02/2022 17:17

Well no, obviously not.

Lightning020 · 08/02/2022 17:20

Just get shot of him. Yet another example that in all but a few cases can most women not have a platonic man friend without the man getting designs. I do have one platonic male friend but that is rare.

Cheesestring11 · 08/02/2022 17:25

I'd like to hope that most friendships can be totally platonic

OP posts:
IncompleteSenten · 08/02/2022 17:27

I'd be disgusted if my husband was a creepy old pervert trying it on with a young woman.

Ohdoleavemealone · 08/02/2022 17:28

Not at all.

Stompythedinosaur · 08/02/2022 17:28

Total creep. Stay away.

HelloFrostyMorning · 08/02/2022 17:31

Urgh what a grubby pig. Shock Any man trying to get frisky with a woman young enough to be his daughter needs castrating. If I discovered my DH was trying it on with much younger women I'd throw up, and then file for divorce. (If it was a woman the same age I would just file for divorce.)

Why on EARTH would you ask if we would be OK with OUR husbands behaving like this? Confused NO-ONE would be OK with this.

Tell him to fuck off and then block him.

Who the F would be OK with that?!

Schmoozer · 08/02/2022 17:50

What an odd question !!

Would you be happy with your partner if ….
Really ?? You have to ask ??
You’d be gutted if it was your partner
Bingo - there is your answer
This was years ago ???
Don’t give this guy another moment of headspace !

Chely · 08/02/2022 17:52

He'd get laxatives in his tea if I were his wife.

Mo1911 · 08/02/2022 18:06

I think you know you're not going to get many "yes I'd be over the moon!" answers to your question 🙄

AngelDelightUk · 08/02/2022 18:37

What was his wife like towards you when you were there? That’s the bit I find really odd, that he invited you over when she was there

DrManhattan · 08/02/2022 19:33

He is a 'friend' you don't need.

Gowithme · 08/02/2022 19:36

No, ick. What a chancer.

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