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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dealing with a compulsive talker

20 replies

Olinguita · 08/02/2022 16:43

It's another MIL one.
She never stops talking. No topic is too banal, trivial or personal for her. Whether it's which brand of bread we buy, which spoon I use to eat yoghurt for breakfast or that fact that a sticker from the manufacturer was still attached to a hairdryer in my house, it just never stops. I recently had a baby don't get much sleep, and I find her behaviour exhausting and intrusive. We just had her to stay for a very long visit (we are talking months not weeks or days...don't ask why). If she isn't nagging me, she is on DH's case about how he should wear socks in the house or use more salt in his cooking, or about how someone had left a poo stripe in the toilet earlier in the week. It is literally a 24/7 monologue and it nukes all possibility of what I consider to be an adult conversation. She hovers over me while I'm eating and doing household chores aslony endless questions. She is an educated, intelligent and cultured woman, and as far as I know doesn't have dementia (she has always been like this). She is a very good hearted person but the talking is so extreme that it is making me not want to be around her, and making me feel quite resentful, and this in turn is putting a strain on my marriage. I know it sounds really petty but honestly it has nearly sent me over the edge. Have brought it up with DH and he just thinks I'm being a b*tch
How can I deal with this?

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 08/02/2022 16:52

Keep her busy. My mil used to iron. Her choice. Even pants and towels. Stationed at the ironing board gave me peace
.
Grin
Your mil has too much time on her hands..

chilli1212 · 08/02/2022 16:59

Air pods.

DrManhattan · 08/02/2022 17:00

Is it nervous chatter? Some people cannot cope with silence.

NoVaxDjokovic · 08/02/2022 17:06

In this recent month plus visit, how many days did DH stay in his mothers company?

LittleGwyneth · 08/02/2022 17:13

Can you put the radio on and say 'that's great Sue, but I'm just listening to this, it'll be on for the next half an hour and I'd really like to focus'?

T00Ts · 08/02/2022 17:17

Why is your MIL staying with you for months? And why is your supposedly loving H so willing to call you a bitch for highlighting his mother’s irritating behaviour?

gamerchick · 08/02/2022 17:17

Has she gone?

If she hasnt, tell hour bloke that she either goes or you and any kids will. MONTHs of it? Hmm fuck that.

Frlrlrubert · 08/02/2022 17:17

I feel your pain. My ex boyfriends mother was (probably still is) like this. He'd never noticed until I pointed it out, and did say I was mean. Then he started noticing, and it drove him mad too!

I'd end up telling her I had a headache (probably wouldn't be a lie) for some peace.

Yousexybugger · 08/02/2022 17:22

If she genuinely has to be at yours for an extended period, and you say she is educated and cultured, could you try heading her off at the pass and starting a convo about something in her area of interest- maybe look out for articles on this- and ask her opinions? She might pick up that quality is more appreciated than quantity and actually leads to fewer silences and monosyllabic replies as she's actually giving you something to work with and room to contribute.

My much- loved mum won't stop blethering either. Hates a silence and like you say it dominates the conversation. But when you get her onto something more substantial than ancient, repeated holiday stories, random observations, or her mates from keep fit, she's really interesting company.

babybunny123 · 08/02/2022 17:22

does she talk in her sleep?. I have a friend like this good hearted lovely person. I asked her once jokingly if she talked in her sleep. She took the hint and realises now when she is wittering on !!!

Yousexybugger · 08/02/2022 17:24

But I agree with a PP. As long as you're not being totally disrespectful about her, your DH should not be calling you a bitch for finding maddening behaviour well, maddening.

FloBot7 · 08/02/2022 17:33

My DH's grandmother is like that! She can speak at 100 words a minute about anything and everything for hours. We always see her en-masse and subtly take turns sitting with her while the other gets a break. She's a lovely woman and has some fascinating stories but it does get tiresome. She's in her late 90's, lives independently and travels all over the U.K. and France by herself to visit friends. We have to remind ourselves of how lucky we are that she's still so sharp, even if it can be exhausting.

IncompleteSenten · 08/02/2022 17:40

I think your husband needs to spend hours and hours with her on his own

Tell her that you think it's really important that he gets to spend quality time just with his mum.
Then bugger off out and leave them to it.

A lot.

HestonB · 13/11/2022 14:16

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

gamerchick · 13/11/2022 16:11

You're back 🙄

reallyworriedjobhunter · 13/11/2022 16:27

She sounds like that priest in Father Ted - the really boring one!

AlwaysLatte · 13/11/2022 16:44

Well if you ditched the husband who calls you a bitch (an absolutely no for me) then he could take his mother with him!

gamerchick · 13/11/2022 16:52

Zombie thread

Olinguita · 13/11/2022 20:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

girlfriend44 · 13/11/2022 21:12

Your Mil would probably say you don't talk enough?

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