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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

No reply from boss

68 replies

RudeBoss · 08/02/2022 11:23

So I've got covid and am pregnant and feeling really rubbish today with a temperature, headache etc. I emailed my boss to let him know that I wouldn't be working today and I've had no reply. He's been sending work emails to me since and has asked others to do some work for me on my behalf so he's definitely read my email.

AIBU to think that it would be polite to reply to me. Just a simple ok, hope you feel better soon email? Or am I just being overly sensitive?

OP posts:
Womencanlift · 08/02/2022 13:41

@gabsdot45

Phone him, it's quite unprofessional to not phone when you're sick IMO.
It is not unprofessional if that is not the norm in your business. I would never phone if I was off and would never expect my direct reports to. Email or more likely text is absolutely fine

OP - I agree, a quick acknowledgment is not much to ask. But you have notified them. Stay off your emails, relax and try to get better. Work won’t fall apart without you and if it did then that is a badly organised team and the responsibility of your manager to sort out

Singinghollybob · 08/02/2022 13:49

You've followed acceptable procedure when calling in sick and you know he's aware you're off. I wouldn't have been bothered about getting a reply tbh, it may have just been an oversight when he's sorting out the workload. He knows you're off.
If he's not pissed off at you being absent, I'd take a guess at him being pissed off you telling another boss he's not replied to you.
There was no need to do that, your boss knows youre off. It just comes across as telling tales

Returnoftheowl · 08/02/2022 14:00

@RudeBoss

I have my emails on my phone so just emailed from there this morning. He would never have expected a phone call, its just not how we work.

Our relationship is up and down to say the least so I'm worried he's just pissed off that I'm sick.

He probably wasn't pissed that you've gone off sick...but he probably is now than you've gone running to someone else as he he didn't reply in the timescale you had silently imposed.
AlDanvers · 08/02/2022 14:05

Yabu.

He may have assumed as you were off, you were nit going to be seeing your emails so a reply would be pointless. It may have slipped his mind, whilst sorting other things or got distracted by something and forgot.

Emailing a director to tell them your boss didn't reply, wouldn't go down well in a lot of businesses.

Toooldtocareanymore · 08/02/2022 14:25

where i work we say when someone is ill and unable to work you leave them in peace, you don't email them, some mails may be passed on but its very much on the understanding that they will not be reading work emails till feeling better. Maybe he thinks something similar, and is just hoping you are getting some rest.

Honeyroar · 08/02/2022 14:31

I don’t understand why you emailed another director? If you don’t have a great relationship with your manager surely that won’t help?

Piglet89 · 08/02/2022 14:52

Why is your relationship with your manager “Up and down”, @RudeBoss ?

Original poster
RudeBoss · 08/02/2022 15:01

So my boss has been pretty rude to me since I had my first baby and came back part time. He said i am putting too much pressure on the rest of the team etc even though he agreed to me coming back part time and didn't actually adjust my workload to begin with. Also when i questioned why I didn't get a pay rise his answer was well you've just had a year off and will be going on maternity leave again soon. I wouldn't give a pay rise to an employee who took a year off to travel round the world, so why should I give you one?? This was after him saying how I'd performed really well since being back from mat leave and the company has done really well over the last couple of years too?!

OP posts:
betwixtlives · 08/02/2022 15:04

@RudeBoss

So my boss has been pretty rude to me since I had my first baby and came back part time. He said i am putting too much pressure on the rest of the team etc even though he agreed to me coming back part time and didn't actually adjust my workload to begin with. Also when i questioned why I didn't get a pay rise his answer was well you've just had a year off and will be going on maternity leave again soon. I wouldn't give a pay rise to an employee who took a year off to travel round the world, so why should I give you one?? This was after him saying how I'd performed really well since being back from mat leave and the company has done really well over the last couple of years too?!
but what has any of that got to do with your OP?
AlDanvers · 08/02/2022 15:04

@RudeBoss

So my boss has been pretty rude to me since I had my first baby and came back part time. He said i am putting too much pressure on the rest of the team etc even though he agreed to me coming back part time and didn't actually adjust my workload to begin with. Also when i questioned why I didn't get a pay rise his answer was well you've just had a year off and will be going on maternity leave again soon. I wouldn't give a pay rise to an employee who took a year off to travel round the world, so why should I give you one?? This was after him saying how I'd performed really well since being back from mat leave and the company has done really well over the last couple of years too?!
Completely baffled how this is relevant?

It also makes the fact that you emailed someone else, more problematic.

Original poster
RudeBoss · 08/02/2022 15:10

Someone asked why we don't have the best relationship at the moment?

OP posts:
Original poster
RudeBoss · 08/02/2022 15:13

I work closely with manager and the other director. I know that manager is wfh today and director is in the office where I was supposed to be today. I don't think there's any harm in me letting the director know that I wouldn't be around. I didn't know if manager would let director know or not

OP posts:
betwixtlives · 08/02/2022 15:19

@RudeBoss

I work closely with manager and the other director. I know that manager is wfh today and director is in the office where I was supposed to be today. I don't think there's any harm in me letting the director know that I wouldn't be around. I didn't know if manager would let director know or not
i think you must have known emailing the director might get your manager’s back up (and that it’s nothing to do with the director- it’s not like you think manager didn’t get your email- you know he did). Reading your OP I didn’t think you were that unreasonable but your subsequent posts have made you look petty
Loopytiles · 08/02/2022 15:21

V unprofessional of you to mail the director about it!

You notified your boss of your illness and absence. And presumably put an ‘out of office’ auto response on for any work emails. It would’ve been ‘good practice’ for him to have responded, but a response wasn’t essential.

BobHadBitchTits · 08/02/2022 15:21

My old boss used to deliberately ignore you to make you sweat. He admitted this was his technique. He was a cunt.

Toottooot · 08/02/2022 15:23

Given your update he probably thinks you’d go greetin to HR or higher if he dared to contact you when sick.

Original poster
RudeBoss · 08/02/2022 15:27

It's a small company. Both my manager and other director are directors. We don't have HR

OP posts:
CocoPancakes · 08/02/2022 15:28

@RudeBoss

I have my emails on my phone so just emailed from there this morning. He would never have expected a phone call, its just not how we work.

Our relationship is up and down to say the least so I'm worried he's just pissed off that I'm sick.

I'd say he probably is pissed off that you're off sick. And he's probably going to be more pissed if he finds out that you told the director he didn't respond. Not that you told the Director you were off sick in the first place, but I'm making a lot of guesses.
endlesslydoingdishes · 08/02/2022 15:30

This is the most petty post I've seen in a while. My workplace also emails in with absences, phone calls would be considered OTT. Email responses are rare as hens teeth. Everyone is busy and has work to do. When I receive an email I think, "ok, I will log that on HR planner". That's literally it. I believe that they're sick. They're adults, why would anyone need to give them a "hope you're ok?" message. I'll ask how they are if the absence goes longer term or when they return and I see them face to face.

The fact that you sent it on to another manager shows that you're problematic here, not the boss.

SeasonFinale · 08/02/2022 15:31

If you have been copied in showing work you would be doing being allocated elsewhere this is surely acknowledgement in itself that you are unavailable and he has asked others to do it.

MichelleScarn · 08/02/2022 15:32

Am now recalling threads where people have then complained 'emailed in to work to tell them I'm off sick..AIBU to complain they emailed me back, surely they should have known I wouldn't be checking my work email as I've just told them I'm sick'?!

Verv · 08/02/2022 15:34

Think id prefer if my boss arranging cover on my workload rather than sending me get well soon messages tbh.

Original poster
RudeBoss · 08/02/2022 15:35

@SeasonFinale

If you have been copied in showing work you would be doing being allocated elsewhere this is surely acknowledgement in itself that you are unavailable and he has asked others to do it.
I wasn't copied into any emails. I logged onto my laptop to see if I needed to get on with some work and realised a colleague had already started it for me
OP posts:
Original poster
RudeBoss · 08/02/2022 15:37

@Verv

Think id prefer if my boss arranging cover on my workload rather than sending me get well soon messages tbh.
I don't need a get well soon message, just an acknowledgement so I didn't need to get out of bed and check my laptop to see that some important work was being done in my absence
OP posts:
AlDanvers · 08/02/2022 15:42

@RudeBoss

It's a small company. Both my manager and other director are directors. We don't have HR
So both at the same level but your boss was well aware you weren't coming in.

The other director did not to be told. His isn't your manager. Your manager knew. You knew, that he knew by the emails.

Definitely comes across as though you told the other director to score points.

That will not help you at all.