AIBU to expect to have met with a SENCO by now?

[kiteinatree]

I have never met the SENCO at my child's school. They told me about 9 months ago when he was in reception that they think he has ASD and ADHD. We have never had a meeting or even met the SENCO. His class teachers and TAs have been great and have lots of measures in place to help, fidget toys, movement breaks, his own desk, time in the 'quiet room' etc so they are definitely actively trying to help him.

His behaviour has taken a dramatic turn for the worst in the last couple of weeks (much more at school than at home) and everybody I have spoken to who is not involved with the school says that it's a huge deal we have never spoken to or had anything to do with the SENCO as that should have been the first port of call.

I have asked to see her several times but get a 'yes yes, we'll arrange something' type reply. I didn't realise that it was a big deal but play therapists, child psychologists, ASD and ADHD specialists have said that yes, it is a serious issue.

I contacted the GP months ago for a referral but it was rejected by the paediatric team due to a lack of evidence. I told school about this and they didn't seem surprised - but nobody said 'right, lets work on this together and get him diagnosed as soon as we can'.

AIBU to expect more? I know there's a SEN board but it's quiet and I would just like to gauge responses to this as I honestly don't know. Thanks.

It's in the news about wait times in different areas. It's about a three year wait for assessment where I am.

Sadly they are so under the kybosh atm you will have to keep pushing.

Sounds like school are making adjustments anyway, not being goady but what benefit would diagnosis bring?

It's not about a diagnosis really, although if there is the possibility that he needs an ECHP then I would rather sort that as soon as we can. It's just that according to lots of people we should have at least had a meeting with the SENCO by now. I don't know if it's a massive red flag about the school.

I wouldn't have necessarily expected a meeting with the senco if there is lots of input behind the scenes which it sounds like there is due to all adaptations being put in. School should have him on an iep, you should have a copy and it gets reviewed each term I think.
Get back to gp, you can ask for asd referral and keep pushing. Get a letter from reception teacher stating issues that child is having and adaptations being put in, get letters from any out of school activities or childcare if dc behaviours. Adhd referrals usually wont happen until 6.
You can also apply for echp if you feel.school cant meet needs
Check out websites
Sen sos
Sen jungle
Ipsea
NAS (national autism service)
I found NAS the most helpful in advice about iep.
You can pay for private diagnosis but for asd it's very expensive and not always accepted by lea. I did pay for adhd diagnosis for one of my children (others already diagnosed) as meant he was diagnosed within a month and started medications - it was much more reasonable price wise about £800.

Also if class teacher is very experienced the senco will be advising them. Most senco are teachers in th school and for in sen role as extra. If your really concerned ask for a phone meeting. I wouldn't consider it a red flag.

You are about to enter a system that is designed to frustrate you so you either give up/ you remove your child from main stream education and/or they get to 16 and are no longer in statutory education.

Private diagnosis are not accepted by councils (re extra school funding such as EHCP) and so that is a dead end except for your own interest.

If you have a school that is making adjustments that is a good start.

My advice is to Google ‘ the local offer for your area’ - which will sign post you to some organisations around you and find a parents with sen group. This is to help you feel less alone.

My second piece of advice is: No one is going to be proactive about this- you have to push and keep pushing for your child, beyond what feels comfortable.

Re: Senco - this is an impossible job, with not enough time allocated to actually service needs. Please keep trying to get a meeting.

I worked in a primary school where the SENCO had a degenerative condition. Her hours were reduced to 0.5 and she worked from home from very early in 2020. If the OP was at that school, it is perfectly possible that you haven't met her as she has barely been in. However, she did a lot of work over Zoom. Technically, parents didn't meet her in person. But she did have plenty of contact.

OP, ask politely for a meeting to discuss how your DS can access the additional support he needs. Offer in person or virtual options. Make it clear that you want to work with the school. Give it a few days and if you haven't received an answer, contact the Head.

Thanks for all the responses. I have been fairly happy with the school so far but it was the 'what do you mean you've met the SENCO - that's appalling!' type responses I was getting from outside people I've spoken to that made me worry there was an issue.

I know we have a lot to do and am trying to get responses from the council about whether we can get a private diagnosis. I will look at all your suggestions @Hankunamatata and @Cherryana

You have to become a Warrior Mother when you have a child with additional needs; you have to be really proactive. Keep a log of every phone call you make; who you speak to, and what was said. It's useful when holding others to account.

You don't need a diagnosis to apply for an EHCNA, they are based on needs. You can apply yourself now. IPSEA have a model letter you can use.

Have you tried emailing the SENCO? That way it also gives you a paper trail of your conversation should you need it as evidence further down the line.

Private diagnosis are not accepted by councils

Such blanket policies are unlawful. And if parents appeals SENDIST will consider them.

Also, as well as pushing the GP to re-refer, check whether you can self refer to OT and SALT in some areas you can.

I would repeat your request for an appointment with the Senco and if this doesn’t happen contact the head

As others have said you need to be proactive now because it takes so long to get a diagnosis and help in place your child may reach a point where they can’t cope before you’ve got the diagnosis and help

The Senco needs to provide evidence to get you into the medical system which is really only the first step on the road, but if you can afford assessment then consider it

The poster who said that private diagnosis are not recognised is not correct, you have to be careful who carries out assessment but can get a private diagnosis recognised because we did

I used a private consultant who had also worked for our CAMHS unit, because he was a previous consultant for our county they accepted his diagnosis , you just need to do your homework

Another thing to consider is applying for DLA which you can then use to pay for assessment, there are lots of good guides around and it is a benefit that is not based on diagnosis