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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed with my mother...

6 replies

Julezboo · 31/12/2007 16:56

Overall we have an excellent relationship. a year ago i moved 200 miles away from my mum with my partner to buy a house otherwise there was no way we could buy our own property.

Before we moved she promised me she would come down when she had time off work. So far this year we have been there once a month because she runs her own business and works most sundays or saturdays. Shes been here twice. Once when we was all ill, i rung her in tears at 7am she was here by 12

And once a few weeks ago. Just for a day though.

She really is a fab mum and I dont know what Id do without her. When she was here a few weeks ago she said they had given themselves 3 weeks off over chrstmas and she was planning on coming her for teh last week. Great I though DP back in work it will break the week up for me and the kids, even if she only stays one night. So was looking forward to it.

I rung her boxing day and she said she cant afford to come now The next day she buggered off to the lake district for the night. Now I know it costs her £50 in petrol to get here but they have our bed. Probs would cost around the same to get to the lake district plus accomodation. I didnt tell her i was upset just avoided making phone calls or answering them for a few days whilst i got over it. Ive spoken to her today and everthing is back to normal but Im still so annoyed she didnt even say sorry she couldnt come anymore. Shes missed a chance to see her grandsons and they are back at work next week so its gonan be back to us spending £60 petrol getting up there once a month (bigger car lol)

AIBU ?

OP posts:
poppy34 · 31/12/2007 16:59

You need to tell her how you feel - but in a "we like to see you and miss you" - then maybe agree a more equal system of seeing each other next year that doesnt rely on you doing all the travelling.

CarGirl · 31/12/2007 17:00

Your not unreasonable to be disappointment but you moved away so it kind of does fall on you to make the effort etc. Your Mum and her parter probably really needed to get away and have a break from everything including all their family?

Julezboo · 31/12/2007 17:01

See I feel even more crapola because my brothers and their families where all there for xmas day this year and boxing day, feeling left out anyway so thats why she told me she would come to us

OP posts:
Julezboo · 31/12/2007 17:02

cargirl I understand that part of it and thats pretty much what i thought. But to tell me the day before thats shes skint. Why not tell me the truth

OP posts:
captainmummy · 31/12/2007 17:06

My God - my mum lives about 120 miles away, takes us 2 huors, so we only go down every 2 months or so. Once a month would drive us all mad.

CarGirl · 31/12/2007 17:08

I can only think/assume she didn't want to say "I need a break" or that she had hoped to do both and suddenly realised that she couldn't afford to do both?

I have regularly met up with friends half way before for the day - makes a long day but more achievable sometimes? Find a pub with a soft play or similar?

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