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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask for money back?

4 replies

MatronicO6 · 07/02/2022 20:48

So long story short I was due to go on a hen party in March, which I had to back out of a few months ago as I am struggling with some pregnancy complications and will be nearly 7 months gone by then with a lot of travel, 3 night stay, out every night, the usual.

When I told the organiser I wouldn't be going she didn't offer any refund of money as the bill was split between amount of attendees, and my not going would up their cost, so I said I understood.
This week the entire hen has been postponed and wedding due to a family illness. The hen is now in December, with a February wedding. So actually will be able to go and I feel I should as it is friend of 10 years.
I have told the organiser I can of course go now and contacted her at weekend telling her I'd love to go now, but didn't want to cause any trouble if she had changed the numbers. She hasn't responded, it's been 2 days.

DH has said if I can't go I should now be able to get the money back (it was nearly £400) as the entire booking has been changed. With a different hotel, different restaurants, different activities so likely no money lost on deposits. DH thinks as my money was no longer tied to original booking, if I am not included in the new party number they should have given back my money and not used it toward the hen budget.

First of all, AIBU to now ask to be included?

And would I be unreasonable to ask for the money back if the answer is I have been cut off the list?

OP posts:
KaptainKaveman · 07/02/2022 20:51

Dunno but sounds very complicated for the poor organiser.

LadyinRead · 07/02/2022 20:54

You should either be invited to the new party or get your money back.

There's nothing complicated about it — it's simple arithmetic.

Stressedout1009 · 07/02/2022 21:00

I'm with your dh. They cannot just take your money, change plans and then not include you.

cuno · 07/02/2022 21:11

Of course you should have the opportunity to be included and be invited as you were the first time around, and if not you should be given your money back. Although I think it would be rude to not invite you the second time around. Hopefully you hear something back soon from the organiser! Could you bring it up with the bride if you don't hear anything, or message organiser on different platform (I.e. Facebook messenger if you both use that).

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