Comment from nurses

[PigFaceForever]

I went in hospital a few months back now for a pre-op. The nurses were lovely and friendly but a comment has stayed with me ever since and I wonder if IABU?

They took all my obs and when they looked at my weight and BMI, they saw my blood pressure was very high (probably from trying to find the pre-op clinic!). I am very overweight. One of them said to another couple of nurses, "it's a wonder she hasn't had a heart attack or stroke, but if the doctor wants to go ahead..."

It was said at normal volume so it was obvious I would hear, but wasn't said maliciously so that I would hear, just in chat amongst the nurses. It was definitely about me.

I felt really bothered about the comments and still am TBH. AIBU?

Very unprofessional of the nurse. She either speaks to a dr about your bp or tells you it’s on the high side you might want to discuss that with the dr. Making her comment to another nurse was unacceptable.

BP usually rises in a medical setting ( known as white coat syndrome) You can take your own BP at home and chat to your GP if it seems high over a period of time.

YANBU

She might be correct in her comment but it wasn’t very nice or professional to say it so loudly in earshot of the person she was referring to.

Oh sorry OP, that is really unprofessional and rude, I'm not surprised it has stayed with you. If the nurse had concerns they should have communicated them to a relevant person in the appropriate manner, not said it almost gossip like with you in earshot.

I'm a nurse and would be horrified if any of my team said something like this
Even in private , it's not acceptable

We should address these things in person if they happen to any of us

So sorry you had that experience

Why does the comment bother you so much? Is it because you know really that your obesity is putting your heath at risk and you don't want to face it?

@Joystir59 I'm facing my obesity, thanks.

The comment bothered me because they said it so blase.

@coldfeetmama Thank you for your lovely reply. They were all lovely, otherwise, but their conversation really bothered me. I hope they're more discreet in future.

They were very unprofessional to talk about you in that way. I've struggled all my adult life with my weight, and so I wish strength and kindness for yourself as you tackle your weight.

@Lampshading @Thatoldgumtree @Suzanne999 Thank you for your kind comments.

@Joystir59 Thank you :) It's a real struggle isn't it? I now weight almost 25 stone, so it's time for me to do something. My health has started to be seriously affected by my weight and it's a shock to the system.

@Joystir59

Why does the comment bother you so much? Is it because you know really that your obesity is putting your heath at risk and you don't want to face it?

They weren’t telling her anything. They were gossiping about her behind her back. Utterly wrong

It was an awful comment to make in your hearing. It isn't a nurse's place to make comments about someone's weight, unless they are a dietitian, and even then they should be speaking directly to you, not having a gossip with another nurse.

So sorry you had to hear this, very unprofessional. Please change your user name, don't be so hard on yourself 🌻

It’s definitely an unprofessional comment by the nurse but she’s not wrong is she? Obesity causes so many unnecessary health issues it’s no wonder healthcare professionals get frustrated and I say this as an ex fatty who topped the scales at 23 stone.

I understand how you feel about that as I had a comment from a midwife which stuck with me throughout pregnancy and affected how I behaved in labour and that comments always sticks in my mind now when I think what could I have done differently..

Basically I had gallstones in my first pregnancy and the pain from the first attack when I was 3 1/3 months was excruciating.. my OH got an ambulance out as I stopped responding and I curled into a ball but by the time they arrived it was starting to pass. I genuinely thought I was losing the baby so the next morning I took myself to the maternity ward and they confirmed baby was alright.. well next thing I know this midwife said to me that everything seemed to be alright with baby and I described the pain and she said it was back pain more than likely and that if I wanted to get through labour then I would have to manage pain better.. she even said that I was slightly on the heavier side so the weight on my back would be substantially heavier now.

I remember walking away thinking god I must have been such a drama queen and I can’t believe I came to the hospital for back pain.. I had 3 more attacks and no one found it was gallstones till after DD was born

Basically the nurses comments stuck with me and still affect me now as when I got into labour I was feeling very very weak and scared and I had to have a EMCS due to slow progression.

So you’ve been thinking about it for months but have you actually done anything about it or just wasted time being angry at someone for saying something truthful that you didn’t want to hear?

@CaptainCabinets Say something pleasant and encouraging, or shut up.

[quote Curiousmouse]@CaptainCabinets Say something pleasant and encouraging, or shut up. [/quote]
I didn’t make any judgements and I was neither pleasant nor unpleasant. Nothing I said was unkind or untrue, I just asked OP a question. Sometimes it’s needed 🤷🏼‍♀️ we can be fat and unhappy and angry at anyone who mentions it or we can take steps to change it. I spent years doing the former but I decided I didn’t fancy dying prematurely.