AIBU to ask for advice. Sorry but I am desperate for any advice

[Toad1986]

Hi all

I would really be grateful for any advice.

My 11 month old has been through a very difficult time in his young life. At six months he had RSV bronchiolitis and had to be tube fed and on oxygen, at 7.5 months he caught covid and was unwell for nearly 8 weeks. His bronchiolitis now reoccurs whenever he catches a cold and he had had to have paramedic call outs as his oxygen levels drop. Due to all this, he is a very clingy baby and has a great deal of separation anxiety.

He is the most wonderful boy. He is happy, playful and so affectionate.

However he absolutely does not sleep. He really struggles and I am lucky if he sleeps longer than two hours in a stretch day or night.

Is this normal for his age?

He has a very strong and consistent bedtime routine, other than when he is unwell. He eats well and has a banana and almond soya milk smoothie just before bedtime to fill him up.

I am fully prepared to be told this is normal behaviour but I would be grateful for any advice as to how I can help him stretch his sleep out.

Thank you!

Try something a bit more substantial like weetabix or porridge - if hunger is the issue (just with you mentioning the smoothie being the last thing before bed).

I hate to be the poster to suggest it but: have you tried cosleeping? Apologies. I know it isn’t always the answer…

Our DS didn't start consistently sleeping through until 18 months or so. In the end it was porridge before bed which seemed to do the trick.

Is the almond soya milk due to allergies? A lot of little ones are intolerant to soya so it might be worth trying oat milk instead.

Poor mite, sounds likely his many illnesses have made it hard for his body to settle.

We had similar after our little boy was ill and hospitalised at 9 months then caught absolutely everything going for the next 6 months or so after that.
I was a soft touch and although I settled him to sleep in his cot at bedtime when he woke in the night (even if it was only a couple of hours later) I’d give him a bottle and bring him in our bed for the rest of the night. I think he needed a milk in the night as he lost a lot of weight when he was Ill so didn’t mind him having the extra calories. I can’t remember when he stopped sleeping in our bed but he’s 6 now and an amazing sleeper and hardly ever Ill. So good luck, you’ll get there.

My DS was similar although he was very premature then caught bronchiolitis etc. He didn’t sleep through until about 14-16 months. As a pp suggested try weetabix just before bed? Or when my DS was that age you could get a hungry baby type milk that was a bit more filling? (This is going back a few years though!) We had terrible trouble with him coughing at night too, it really helped raising the head end of his cot slightly, helped with his breathing too. Our DS was prescribed the brown steroid inhaler too after bronchiolitis I think? Seem to remember that helping? Also is he warm enough? They get too big for sleeping bags I think around that age and can wriggle out of covers & get cold. To be honest I slept quite a lot of nights on his bedroom floor as I was so worried, this helped as I could quickly soothe him before he woke up properly. Hang in there, you’ll get there eventually!!

Porridge before bed would be better than a smoothie.
My youngest is 14 months and at 11 months he'd often be up every 2 hours. Something has clicked in the last 2 months and he now generally sleeps through or only up once.

I wouldn't say it's normal or abnormal as there's no such thing when it comes to kids and sleep, but yes I would expect/hope that a dc sleeps through at this age. Maybe one wake up here and there is common, but every two hours - you must be absolutely shattered.

I'm not sure focusing on filling him up is going to help, as I'm not sure that's the problem. It's more habit at this age.

How does he go to sleep? Can he settle himself at all?