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Original poster

Did you have any parental help when buying first house?

499 replies

forceofagreattyphoon · 07/02/2022 14:37

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses.

Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way?

We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise.

I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

OP posts:
Bouledeneige · 11/02/2022 01:22

I didn't in the sense that I put in money I had personally saved. My XH though had family money for his contribution because he'd been doing a PHD for many years and hadn't had a chance to save in his not very well paid first job.

Hunderland · 11/02/2022 01:27

I used my 18th birthday money for a deposit on a house.

Disclaimer: it was a small house and in the 80's when they were waaaaaaay cheaper.

It was a good decision though, wish my kids could do the same but their gifts would have to be ten times what I was given to buy anywhere.

fiveminutebreak · 11/02/2022 06:56

No. We bought in 2019 after saving hard for about 5 years.. we ended up with a 40k deposit...Still not totally sure how we managed it. But we were both working in reasonably well paid jobs and lived fairly frugally for a while. But we were late 30s/ early 40s when we bought so unlikely to have enough equity or savings to help our kids get on property ladder, unfortunately.

I do find it difficult that so many people we know had help and will be mortgage free long before we are. Also found people boasting about how their houses had shot up in value while we were still renting really unpleasant.

Darbs76 · 11/02/2022 07:01

Well I did own a house with my ex, he paid the 30k deposit with money he saved from working through Uni and 2yrs after Uni. I had been a single parent from 16 and been to Uni so at that point I’d only been working for 2yrs. We separated and he kept the house. I’m currently saving for a house in the area I grew up in, and I’ve saved 30k in 2yrs, helped by covid. My mum has offered to help, and my eldest son has a fair amount of savings but I’m not planning on using their help. My youngest kids will get a lot of financial zipper from their dad, who will pay for Uni and eventually an inheritance will give them a big deposit on a house, needed in this area

sleepymouse · 11/02/2022 07:05

I didn't get financial assistance to purchase my first house, but what I did get from my parents was financial assistance while completing my university degree, which then allowed me to get a well paying job, which then allowed me to afford my first house. So in a round about way I did have financial help

Lollipity · 11/02/2022 07:14

For a deposit for my first house I borrowed £7k from my Mum, which was paid back a year later. Then I came off the housing ladder for a few years after splitting up with my ex.

Bought our current house at 36 with £120k deposit help from my Dad, and £30k of my own. It's made a massive difference to our financial position and I'm extremely grateful to both my parents for their help.

FLOWER1983 · 11/02/2022 08:29

We saved £70k living in a tiny studio flat for 6 years in London, bought 2 bed flat in 2016 in zone 3 with cladding that now is valued at 0 , wish we just rented...

ReginaFilange001 · 11/02/2022 09:29

My first home back in 1998 was £30k and me and ex out done £1500 as a deposit saved ourselves from our first jobs. We were 19. Both sets of parents charged rent to live at home and the most help we got was a bit with moving and maybe £50 towards some furniture.
When we split I used my equity to put toward my own home. Again no parental help apart from with moving.
My now husband saved £20k to buy his house back in 2008 and had his deposit matched by parents. They have since paid for carpets, boiler, several lump sum amounts towards mortgage etc. I find it hard as my parents will never and would never do the same. We are about to move again and he has been gifted around £60k to move up and has been advised there is more to come. On one hand it's very lovely and means we have a nicer life and will probably pay out mortgage in the next 5 years we are late 30's in age. On the other it has made me realise that all the time I struggled pre current husband and couldn't figure out why everyone else was doing so well in similar jobs they were mostly receiving gifts of help - and not just with deposits but with holidays, household items etc. And it's hard not to feel bitter and angry at the world. I expect nothing from my parents except their love and (non financial) support. I knew I was in my own in the world.
The current market and house prices is the result of many things but one reason prices stay high is that it is buoyed up by people whose parents help them into houses they otherwise would not be able to afford. If people couldn't afford to buy them, they wouldn't sell and prices would come down.

cadburyegg · 11/02/2022 10:02

Yes. H and I lived with my parents for 2 years to save up for a deposit. My parents also gave us some money towards the deposit. A couple of years later, H received some inheritance from his grandmother which enabled us to upsize.

H and I are no longer together but I am hoping to buy him out of his share of this house. I can only do this because my dad died and my mum is going to downsize and give me some money to help me to do this. I realise I am very fortunate (apart from losing close relatives...)

PurpleDaisies · 11/02/2022 10:03

Not for the first house, yes for our second. Moving from a cheap area to an expensive one wasn’t fun.

Makegoodchoices · 11/02/2022 10:07

£5k but only because they hated the ones we could actually afford. It was a sort of loan not a gift though. To be repaid at our next move. This was early 00s

FiveShelties · 11/02/2022 10:15

Never had any support to buy, and when I split from my first DH I struggled like hell to buy him out.

I had a full time job and worked in a bar in the evenings to pay the bills, it was really tough, but completely worth it.

FangsForTheMemory · 11/02/2022 10:20

£3K that I paid back in the first year. This was more than 20 years ago. I'm the only person I know who bought while single without a large amount from their parents. Even 30 years ago it was tough.

Squidgames4U · 11/02/2022 10:21

No, but I bought in 1994 when house prices were still affordable.

WithASpider · 11/02/2022 11:08

Yes but as an advance wedding present. PIL gave us £2.5k which was a 2% deposit in 2002.
They also paid for our extension 7 years ago as an advance on our inheritance. SIL has had the same amount paid off her mortgage. We're very grateful.

NotEnoughTime · 11/02/2022 15:57

Some very lucky people on here!

I didn't have any help from my Mum (she rented a council property and didn't have any money). My Father was a violent alcoholic who I had no contact with as soon as I was old enough to choose. I paid half of my wages to my Mum for keep when I lived at home.

My DH paid nearly half of his wages to his parents for keep-they were gutted when he moved out for this reason Grin. They never helped him with a house deposit or wedding etc. However they paid for his sister's weddings in full AND gave his sisters back the money that they had paid in rent when they moved out of home-very unfair. They also saved his sisters thousands of pounds over the years looking after their DC whilst they worked and we were paying out more than I earned in nursery fees.

Still hurts Sad

I'm hoping that we can help our DC get on the property ladder in the future but I can't see how unless we downsize/move area. I'm happy to do this though Smile

metellaestinatrio · 20/02/2022 11:06

@DetectiveFlorence

People I know who bought a house had either

A. Bought when there was 0% -5% deposit

B. Had an inheritance

C. Had a major family help with deposit.

I can't think of one couple or person I know that saved the deposit themselves, that has a normalish job. If you are renting it's just not possible.

We bought a small house in the north of England, £130k , needed at least £26k as a deposit. with our joint income and rental cost, we could save about £150 a month, and that is pushing it. That would mean years of going without stuff , such as holidays and nights out.

Fortunately the older generation in our family had the savings and disposable income to come up with that £26k for us.

I hope we can do the same for my daughter when she is ready to buy..sad fact is that we will have inherited property/assets from parents/grandparents by then so should be able to.

We did - bought in 2010 in London, saved our 10% deposit ourselves while living in a (tiny) rental flat and paying off student debt. However, we were both professionals on good City salaries and DH (then boyfriend) got decent bonuses which helped. We were saying recently that if we’d been born just five years earlier (we are late 30s) it would have been SO much easier to buy as we wouldn’t have had to pay tuition fees at uni and we could have bought a flat with a 100% mortgage. These days it definitely seems as though family help of some kind or another is necessary to buy in London at least.
CricutKeeno · 20/02/2022 11:31

My parents gave me (and dsis) £50,000 to get on the property ladder a couple of years ago and I bought a 1 bed flat for £240,000. I never would have been able to save enough for a deposit where I need to be, on my own. My rent was £1100 and my mortgage payments are £680.

Pedallleur · 06/03/2022 14:56

Some people ask where does this money come from? There are a lot of well paid people out there. Private schools are £10k - £30k pa, lots of people drive large expensive cars, own expensive homes etc. They save, inherit and the money gets passed on. A friend of mine does IT security for a well known retailer. In a security CHECK he found 1 manager earned 80k per month. Just one manager. The head of one section earned 1.5 million in a year. These aren't famous people, just higher level managers, partners in law firms, private doctors etc.

Amelion · 06/03/2022 15:23

No, and we still don’t own a house (30s in London) despite good salaries because it’s taken an age to save a deposit. We’re now moving out of London to afford to buy, like it seems everyone else!

CheeseTown · 06/03/2022 15:26

Yes my parents paid a large chunk of our deposit.

stimpyyouidiot · 06/03/2022 15:34

I had grandparents who both passed away so I had some money from them.

DoraSpenlow · 06/03/2022 15:46

No, no financial help from parents. This was in 1975. They did feed us twice a week when we were really struggling and practically living on beans and eggs on toast. Mortgage rate went from 12% to 14% so not much money left after mortgage paid. No holidays and only rare nights out for 5 years. But it was really easy to buy in the 1970s, apparently.

Never had any money from either set of parents until inheritances as they never had much money either

kitcat15 · 06/03/2022 18:15

@FLOWER1983

We saved £70k living in a tiny studio flat for 6 years in London, bought 2 bed flat in 2016 in zone 3 with cladding that now is valued at 0 , wish we just rented...
Thats a real bummer..... really shit for you
LashesZ · 06/03/2022 18:22

My DM gave me 50k for my first property. I have a very small mortgage (I'm under 30) following the large deposit from DM and some of my savings alongside equity from my first house. I will be forever grateful to her.

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