Page 16 | Did you have any parental help when buying first house?

forceofagreattyphoon · 2022-02-07T14:37:59+00:00

Obviously inspired by all the Kirsty allsopp stuff about buying first houses. Did you have any help from parents or partners parents in any way? We didn’t get any ‘direct’ money but were only able to save a deposit by living with my parents for very-low rent for 2 years. So technically they did help a lot financially with the process. A lot of people wouldn’t have this option so I am very fortunate and wouldn’t have been able to do it otherwise. I’d say about 80% of people I know my age (late 20s-early 30s) have all had some form of parental help when purchasing their first house. Ranging from the whole deposit gifted or help with all the fees.

thinking123 · 08/02/2022 11:35

Completely on our own. Only help with got was an old pan from my mum and some cleaning products as a joke moving in gift from mil.

Yes prices where a bit cheaper when we bought but not that much. It is about priories, we saved like mad and missed out on holidays/ nights out and so on. It's paid off for us but drives me mad when people assume we must have had help.

Cornishmumofone · 08/02/2022 12:31

No... but every penny I was ever given (birthdays, Christmas etc) was put into a savings account "for when you buy a house". This was a fair amount of money as my family tend not to buy presents. I occasionally questioned this as a child, but mostly accepted it and was very grateful when I did want to buy a house.

SarahAndQuack · 08/02/2022 13:08

@Cornishmumofone

No... but every penny I was ever given (birthdays, Christmas etc) was put into a savings account "for when you buy a house". This was a fair amount of money as my family tend not to buy presents. I occasionally questioned this as a child, but mostly accepted it and was very grateful when I did want to buy a house.

Not being funny, but how is this 'no'?

Surely you mean yes, you did have help.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 08/02/2022 13:10

@SarahAndQuack I think she means birthday gifts from grandparents etc when she was a child were put into a savings account instead of given to her to spend. So not ‘help’, as it was her money in the first place.

SarahAndQuack · 08/02/2022 13:20

[quote ShallWeTalkAboutBruno]@SarahAndQuack I think she means birthday gifts from grandparents etc when she was a child were put into a savings account instead of given to her to spend. So not ‘help’, as it was her money in the first place.[/quote]
It's the same thing though? IME it's a common thing to do.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 08/02/2022 13:23

It’s not really ‘help’ though, is it? It’s her money, given my relatives. The only help she had was that it was put into a bank account rather than given to her to spend.
I do the same for my children (with their agreement) but I don’t see it as me (or anyone) giving them financial help. It’s money given to them in lieu of a birthday present, and they’ve foregone that present in order to save it for when they’re older.

itssquidstella · 08/02/2022 13:24

Yes, and as we live in London we wouldn't have been able to buy without it, even though we're both high earners. We bought a two bedroom flat for £500k in 2018 and were gifted £45k of the £50k deposit from both sets of parents.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/02/2022 13:25

Yes, a little, from ex PIL. However it was before the crash so we had a 95% mortgage and the amount needed wasn’t that much.

We were very lucky to be able to get on the ladder when we did.

Houseofvelour · 08/02/2022 13:26

Yes, my in laws gave us our deposit which I am eternally grateful for.
We started paying it back in monthly instalments but soon after fell pregnant and they said they didn't want our payments anymore as they felt the money should be saved for the baby.
DD is now 4 and DH and I have decided that we will continue to pay them.

SarahAndQuack · 08/02/2022 13:27

I think, though, that this sort of quibble is why people like Kirsty A can say what she says.

If you have the sort of family where parents or grandparents can give enough money through your childhood for 'savings for a house,' yes, you've had family help to buy.

It's quite a practical option in terms of tax, too, so there are solid good reasons why it could make the family unit as a whole better off than if you give an adult child or grandchild an amount for a deposit all in one go.

These things are forms of financial good luck, and it gets obscured if we start splitting hairs about what counts as family help and what doesn't.

Drivingbuttercup · 08/02/2022 13:30

Parents lent me 10k and paid it back in full.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 08/02/2022 13:30

@SarahAndQuack

I think, though, that this sort of quibble is why people like Kirsty A can say what she says.

If you have the sort of family where parents or grandparents can give enough money through your childhood for 'savings for a house,' yes, you've had family help to buy.

It's quite a practical option in terms of tax, too, so there are solid good reasons why it could make the family unit as a whole better off than if you give an adult child or grandchild an amount for a deposit all in one go.

These things are forms of financial good luck, and it gets obscured if we start splitting hairs about what counts as family help and what doesn't.

My point really was that if she was given a £50 gift on her 6th birthday rather than £50 cash, it wouldn’t be considered ‘financial help’, would it? It’s a gift. The child is foregoing a gift in favour of the saved cash.

SarahAndQuack · 08/02/2022 13:33

My point really was that if she was given a £50 gift on her 6th birthday rather than £50 cash, it wouldn’t be considered ‘financial help’, would it? It’s a gift. The child is foregoing a gift in favour of the saved cash.

No, the child isn't. The child is not being given a choice - 'would you like a Barbie or shall granny put some money in your savings?' The child is just being told money is saved for them for a house.

Also, not to be flippant, but you can't buy a house with saved-up Barbies, can you?!

timestheyarechanging · 08/02/2022 13:34

No financial help to buy our first house but saved us 1000s providing free childcare a few years later, for several years.
We bought our first house, 3 bed terrace in SE London for £63k with a 5% deposit, in 1996 aged 24. Bought from a developer so it didn't need any work at all. Had DD in 99 and, as we were lucky to have free childcare we were able to save and move to a larger house in a lovely area in 2002. We had made over 100k on first property in 6yrs (second was £225) It's now worth about £600k. I can't imagine a couple aged 31 now would be able to buy it without substantial help. DS is now 23 and has a good job with lots of promotion opportunities. She's living here rent free (just a £100pm contribution to bills, Food etc) so is able to save.
Sadly mil passed in 2019 but left money to both DS and DD which is being saved for property deposit. Also left a property that we rent out meaning we don't need to charge DD anything for living here.
Therefore, DD will be in a position to put a deposit on a 2 bed place in this nice area (London/kent borders) next year with her bf who is also loving rent free with his parents (although he is here a lot of the time - he's lovely!).
DS is still at school but hopefully he'll be in a similar position as her at 23.
They appreciate how fortunate they are but would still prefer to have their beloved grandma back!

SarahAndQuack · 08/02/2022 13:34

I mean, I think you're treating it as if this were an adult couple saying 'shall we get each other Christmas presents or save up for a house?'

In that situation, sure, there's a choice to be made. But however someone has saved up money towards their child or grandchild's property, you can't really claim it doesn't count as help if it happened to be put in an account in the child's name, rather than kept in an account in the adult's name until later.

Saracen · 08/02/2022 13:35

Yes, our parents gave us £5k towards the deposit, which meant we were able to buy years earlier than we otherwise could have. It was a really lovely thing for them to do.

ShallWeTalkAboutBruno · 08/02/2022 13:36

My children are given the choice, in that they can either have the money they’ve been given to spend on something now, or they can put it in their savings. It’s their money so I wouldn’t tell them what they had to do with it.

Dutchesss · 08/02/2022 13:37

Yes, as I lived with my parents until I moved out paying a tiny amount towards food costs.
I bought in 2010 with a 15% deposit, I wouldn't be able to afford it now.

ChillyB · 08/02/2022 13:38

No, saved £30k (did use lifetime isa’s) whilst renting, we bought in 2019. I live in the North.

SarahAndQuack · 08/02/2022 13:39

@ShallWeTalkAboutBruno

My children are given the choice, in that they can either have the money they’ve been given to spend on something now, or they can put it in their savings. It’s their money so I wouldn’t tell them what they had to do with it.

She does actually say I occasionally questioned this as a child, but mostly accepted it.

Grantingmum · 08/02/2022 13:48

Yes, we did. I think nearly everyone who was a first time buyer in the last ten years would have needed help unless they are earning mega bucks.
People who say things like 'we sacrificed lots to managed to save for a deposit' and then reveal this was 30 years ago...well, it's a very different market now. Most people sacrifice lots just to pay extortionate rents nowadays.

Siepie · 08/02/2022 13:51

No help - no money or staying with relatives.

My parents don't own their home, so not exactly in the position to buy us one!

We do recognise that we were fortunate in other ways, e.g. DP's parents paid for her university education (she's from a country with no student loans/grants) meaning she was able to get a well paid job and save.

DetectiveFlorence · 08/02/2022 15:58

People I know who bought a house had either

A. Bought when there was 0% -5% deposit

B. Had an inheritance

C. Had a major family help with deposit.

I can't think of one couple or person I know that saved the deposit themselves, that has a normalish job. If you are renting it's just not possible.

We bought a small house in the north of England, £130k , needed at least £26k as a deposit. with our joint income and rental cost, we could save about £150 a month, and that is pushing it. That would mean years of going without stuff , such as holidays and nights out.

Fortunately the older generation in our family had the savings and disposable income to come up with that £26k for us.

I hope we can do the same for my daughter when she is ready to buy..sad fact is that we will have inherited property/assets from parents/grandparents by then so should be able to.

lucywho123 · 08/02/2022 16:01

Had no help at all, and none on subsequent property. I was 26 when I bought my first home with ex-DP and had managed to save £15k to put down

LeevMarie · 08/02/2022 16:18

Similarly to a pp, we live in the North so property is considerably cheaper here.

We didn't have help with a deposit, but bought our first home which was barely habitable and moved in with mother in law for 8 weeks while the electrical work, structural repairs and plastering was being done.

The deposit was 'only' 10k, and a redundancy payment covered most of it. This was in 2014 and prices have increased significantly now in the area.

When we moved in, the only room that was done was the bedroom so we used this as our lounge and bedroom with a fold out sofa bed. The bathroom was unfit for humans - covered in mould and damp and the floorboards were rotten so we had our showers every morning at the gym until we could afford to do the repairs.

If it weren't for our gym memberships, which apparently, we should have cancelled, I don't think it all would've been possible. . .

Seriously, though. I resent the idea that the only people who can afford to buy are those who have inherited a great heap of cash just as much as I resent the idea that with a bit of savvy saving, everyone can afford it and it's easy.