I did originally post in relationships but did not get any response so posting here (sorry!) although I guess it is an Aibu in a way - I am essentially staying in a relationship because its easier than leaving atm and need to be told so.
my partner is very moody and negative. when he is in a good mood he is funny and kind. but he is miserable and mean more often unfortunately.
we have 2 young children. one who was born very prematurely (27 weeks) and is now 6 months old. I have spent much of the last few months in and out of hospital with them. I have struggled with my own mental health due to the trauma of this and am now on anti depressants and speak to a therapist weekly.
partner frequently says how much he hates his life, hates me, hates the world. his dad took his own life when he was a teenager and of course this is horrible but he uses this to excuse his bad behaviour. as does most of his family. this is why I'm posting because it really confuses me and I feel sorry for people really easily. yesterday he kicked off as follows:
he got up with eldest as it was Sunday so he wasnt working. when I got up with the 6 month old I could tell immediately he was in a foul mood. this happens regularly. starts going off on a tangent about money (again, it's his trigger and he is obsessed with it) I basically said I dont really care aslong as bills are paid and my children are healthy. he is screaming at me at this point that he only has 300 pound left over (this is after all his bills are paid, food, everything) I told him that was plenty for just himself to have as spare and he called me delusional. I told him to stop being childish and appreciate what we have and I didnt need this on top of everything going on with youngest child. he picked up a boiling pan of water and went to throw it towards me but restrained himself at the last moment and slammed it down again on the side. told me he hated me and I was a cunt. told me to fuck off. I asked him to leave and he stormed off.
I spent the day at my mums. when we got home he returned and we didnt get a chance to speak at all, our eldest also became quite unwell, had a high temperature, really unsettled, didnt want to sleep without someone next to her. this annoyed him after an hour or so and he stormed into me and said he really wanted a fag but eldest was not letting him put her down. I said seriously that is more important to you than our child being ill and needing comforting. he told me to fuck off again and stormed back into the bedroom.
the problem I have is I feel sorry for him and I don't know why. i feel sorry for people stupidly easily. and i convince myself it's not that bad. when I spoke to my mum she said she wasn't happy about the boiling water but that she tells my step dad to fuck off at times. I said it's not just that but it's the constant moods.
I also dont know what I can do financially. we are in a rented property and so if I asked him to leave I dont know what to do.