So I have a lovely 4.5 month old baby. He's my first and I'm worried I'm being a bit over protective and could potentially upset my partner and his mum and brother.
Partners brother has schizophrenia. He's very quiet but nice and we (I think) get on ok. He lives with their mum still around 2 hours away from us. My issue is not his diagnosis but the way the family address it - ie. they don't. No-one speaks about anything meaningful really which is a whole other issue. He is prescribed antipsychotic medication by his GP but is not under any CMHT at present. Again, no-one discusses this with him and he has not come to the attention of services recently. It seems he goes through phases of taking/not taking his medication, and periodically becomes unwell. This is never addressed by their mum and he won't speak to his dad who is the primary subject of his delusions. Their parents are separated so it's just his mum and brother at home.
He has never been violent to people, but on a couple of occasions he has been destructive to property. It seems he has persecutory delusions when unwell and sporadically his brother (my partner) is the subject of these.
This issue came to the fore last week when he and his mum were due to visit us (for context, we see them every few weeks. They are very quiet and his mum does not really ask about her grandson, nor does she contact my partner. He is the one to reach out to her). I believe she has her own issues with depression. My partner spoke to his brother on the phone. As soon as I heard his voice I knew he was unwell. He is extremely intelligent and articulate and when unwell this becomes even more evident. He accused my partner of being the culprit of some 'electric shocks' he had been feeling and gave his rationale which involved wifi, smartphones etc. He then hung up.
My partners mum had no idea her son was unwell but had noticed he had been sleeping poorly. She said she would see how he is in the morning with regards to whether they would visit. I said sorry no, I don't want him around my baby if he's unwell and ranting (for want of a better term) at my partner in an agitated manner. She seemed quite affronted by this. My partner agrees with me but is upset of course. They are going to reassess in a couple of weeks. In the meantime, noone will speak to him about it, they will just wait until he eventually starts taking his medication again, or at least appears relatively well.
Am I being unreasonable here? The irony is I work in mental health myself. I would never want to stigmatise someone and I know that sufferers of mental illness are more likely to be victims of violence than perpetrators. However, since so little is known about his state of mind and no discussions are ever had about anything meaningful, it feels a risk to me when it comes to my baby. I can see this being an issue in the future and I'm worried about how to proceed with his family. I'd like to talk to him myself but have worried about upsetting the apple cart so to speak. I think it may be the time to do so however his mum's reaction makes me think it may not go down well...
Bit of a rambling one. Opinions greatly appreciated