Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Do FB group rules apply before you join ??

25 replies

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:08

Sorry im a little confused about something and really not sure if im BU?
I get really stressed about things like this and rules etc so to feel like I’ve done something ‘wrong’ has upset me. That and the tone of the admin

I am joined to a few local groups , have been a while and all ok. They allow DMs between members so last week I had messaged someone , had a nice chat etc and all was fine and they actually recommended another group that may be helpful so I requested to join that on Saturday.

I’ve woken up to quite a rude message telling me off for messaging members of her group but I haven’t ?? I explained anyone I’ve messaged was from other groups I’m in that allowed that ?

The person I messaged has now blocked me too after being really nice and I’m so confused and upset as I didn’t think I had done anything wrong.

I just dont know am I being u but I feel like the new group rules didn’t apply to me prior to joining ?

OP posts:

TigerLilyTail · 07/02/2022 10:11

I don't know what happened but I don't think you did anything wrong at all so please put it out of your mind. It sounds like there was a misunderstanding or perhaps the other person was causing drama.

greenlynx · 07/02/2022 10:11

So you and say Emma in the same group. Emma recommended you another group and you sent them a request. Then the admin of a new group told you off for messaging to Emma and Emma blocked you off as well. Have I got this right?

StationaryMagpie · 07/02/2022 10:13

of course they don't apply before you join, she's clearly batshit crazy and you have done nothing wrong.

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:14

@TigerLilyTail

I really don’t understand either but it upset me as I usually always follow rules etc and it was just a really off message.

I’m not very sociable and joined fb specifically to access support group so for one thing so this has made me feel rubbish😞

I don’t understand why the person I’m seen to have broken rules before I joined the group !
Yes the person I messaged last week is in that group and they have a no dm rule but I had messaged before joining as we were both on a group that allowed messages

I feel like I might just forget fb

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:15

@greenlynx

Yes that’s exactly it

The first group allowed messages And the new group she recommended doesn’t

But I’m confused why she has blocked me as I had messaged and it was all fine she was really nice and helpful so I’m totally confused

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:21

Drama over well sort of . The admin said it’s was a misunderstanding so that’s ok I’m still confused why the person I messaged recommended a group and then blocked me though 😞

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:21

I’m not sure I’m cut out for the politics of fb

OP posts:

greenlynx · 07/02/2022 10:22

I think they’ve won the title “nonsense of the year”
Consider this a lucky escape as the new group is definitely crazy and “Emma” is batshit as well if she blocked you.

You did absolutely nothing wrong.

greenlynx · 07/02/2022 10:23

What group is this? Religious?

Coughee · 07/02/2022 10:24

You have honestly done nothing wrong. But I would give this new group and ‘Emma’ a massive swerve. I mean how can a group say you can’t message it’s members, how could that possibly work? Bonkers the pair of them.

ForTheHorde · 07/02/2022 10:25

Not being able to message other members of the group is really odd in itself. Is that normal for FB groups?

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:25

@greenlynx

I think they’ve won the title “nonsense of the year” Consider this a lucky escape as the new group is definitely crazy and “Emma” is batshit as well if she blocked you. You did absolutely nothing wrong.

The admin said the misunderstanding was that ‘Emma’ thought I was a member of her group that had messaged when not allowed

But she knew I had messaged before joining as she recommended the new group to me !

It’s too confusing for me I think

No it’s not religious it was a home education group

OP posts:

Coughee · 07/02/2022 10:26

This really isn’t the politics of Facebook either
Honestly. I’ve never come across such batshittery in all my time on there. You’ve just been unlucky to stumble across a couple of odd bods. That can happen in real life too.

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:26

I have asd so these sorts of things are tricky for me anyway and I couldn’t work out was it me or not.

At least it’s been clarified but I still don’t really understand 100%

OP posts:

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:28

@ForTheHorde

Not being able to message other members of the group is really odd in itself. Is that normal for FB groups?

I’m not sure as I did it really use fb much till now. I had an account but wasn’t really active at all as not my thing but I was recommended that it was a great place for advice and support for education things so joined lots of groups which most are really helpful but this today I just thought I literally don’t understand what’s going on is it me as I’m autistic it is it them

OP posts:

StationaryMagpie · 07/02/2022 10:28

'Emma' probably forgot who you were.

WabbitsAndWeasels · 07/02/2022 10:29

I think if the admin of the group is going to be that picky before you've actually joined the group then it's not a group you want to be part of. I imagine they'd jump on every minor potential rule break and you'd find yourself removed from the group before you knew it. Some groups just aren't as friendly, welcoming and understanding as they should be

StationaryMagpie · 07/02/2022 10:30

It's not you, and i'd have wondered wtf was going on as well.

Don't let it worry you.

And its a bit mad not to allow dm's, the only one i know thats a 'thing' on is a selling group where they ask people not to dm but to reply on the thread until the sale is agreed.

Coughee · 07/02/2022 10:30

I think the reason you can’t understand is because it isn’t understandable to anybody - it’s completely illogical. Nobody, neuro typical or autistic can make sense of nonsense!

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 10:31

The admin was ok once she said it was a misunderstanding. I just don’t understand why I got blocked by ‘Emma’ but I suppose I need to just forget it

It’s hard as I dwell on stuff as I try so hard to do things right socially and I feel like I messed up somehow ! It’s not even ‘proper’ socialising 🤦‍♀️

OP posts:

ThanksIGotItInMorrisons · 07/02/2022 10:39

Do yourself a massive favour and delete fb. Such a nasty place far too many vacuous narcissists for my liking.

TigerLilyTail · 07/02/2022 10:41

I think you should give the group a chance. Facebook can be a good way to connect with people.

Ponoka7 · 07/02/2022 10:42

I think Emma might have got stick off the admin n and can't be bothered with it, so blocked you. Some of these admins get power made. Unless you are oversharing, then assume that it isn't you.

greenlynx · 07/02/2022 10:45

Home Ed??? So basically a group of parents who have difficulties and need some support!
I know a few people who became friends through similar groups and even started meeting up.
“Emma” seems more wrong in this situation but I’m still suspicious about this group not messaging rule, it’s very strange. I’m in a few parents groups and never come across this, actually the opposite.
I would join the group if you really need it but I would keep away from “Emma” for now.

Original poster

BlueSaturn · 07/02/2022 11:05

@Ponoka7

I think Emma might have got stick off the admin n and can't be bothered with it, so blocked you. Some of these admins get power made. Unless you are oversharing, then assume that it isn't you.

I don’t think the admin would have even known that she had recommended the group to me as I joined and answered questions but didn’t say it had been recommended 🤷‍♀️

So I’m not sure why she then reported me for messaging and then blocked unless she did genuinely forget who I was ? The admin said she thought I was from that group but she could see from her messages surely I wasn’t and that she recommended the group to me 🤦‍♀️

I think I need another coffee now 🤣

OP posts:

Flip