To ask for DD to be in a separate class from her friend

[fablett]

No idea if this is reasonable. DD has a friend who is also our next door neighbour. Lovely family, great neighbours.

DD and her friend have a feisty relationship. They are both just about to turn 5. My DD is very hot headed, friend can be manipulative, very controlling and winds her up. They are super competitive.

They are in the same year at primary but different classes. Often together at break but my DD says that friend disrupts her games and doesn't like it if DD plays with another child. This rings true to me having observed them together.

The school is 2.5 form entry and I would like to request that they stay in separate classes.

Will this annoy the school? Is it a reasonable ask?

It shouldn't annoy them if you have a genuine reason. Pointing out how the friend can be possessive and you are concerned it may have an impact on your daughter is reasonable. It's easier to avoid then it is to rectify once classes are set.

My daughter's friend (who she'd shared a childminder with) turned on her during nursery and became very spiteful and generally unkind. I spoke to the teacher and emailed the school to request separate classes in reception. All was well.

I did this and nobody ever knew

Similar situation

I'd let the teacher know that you're open to it if they think separating them might help them.

I think it’s fine, my daughter started school with a similar friend in the class and year one was horrendous, she was constantly in tears about it. They are still friends but now have other friends and it’s less intense, but I wish they had had some space earlier on.

Yes, it's reasonable to ask.

I did - intense up and down friendship and I thought it better that it was in the playground only, not in the actual classroom as well. The school were receptive

Definitely speak to the school. We had a similar situation and so glad we asked the school to separate the children. It was in their best interests too.

Absolutely ask for seperate classes

I asked the school to do this. My son and his best friend were double trouble so suggested they be separated. The school said they'd already decided to do this. The boys saw each other at break and lunch and were neighbours so they had plenty of time together.

I also did this.

Ask away. I had to do this for one of my kids as well. I’m sure they are used to it and it will help them with less distractions in class too I would imagine!

Yes i did this. It was fine!

Absolutely. They are frenemies.

I think it's fine. Just word your email carefully so that it's 'an intense and up and down friendship which is not conducive to the best learning environment for either of them'. Rather than it sounding like you are blaming the other child or raising problematic behaviour..
You are not asking them to address this behaviour and it means that the school don't need to take any other action so no one will ever need to know (or guess) you made the request.

I've done this.

We were asked to name a friend they'd like to be with when the classes were mixed.

I named a friend and then put "for everyone's sake please keep x and y separate." The school did.

I wish I’d done this. We’re now getting to the end of primary and my son gets overruled by this child in everything!

Thanks son much to all. May I ask - who did you address your request to?

And, definitely not blaming. My DD is very feisty and will need to learn how to manage tricky people when she's older but I think 4/5/6 is just too little. I don't want her to be dominated and wound up every day.

Definitely ask. My dd has been put in a class with a friend from reception where the relationship is like this and it’s making her not want to go to school now in year 1.