AIBU to think I should tell my children about my ex / their father

[AlwaysOnTheGo1417]

Hi all,

I don’t usually post but I’m in a dilemma and need help. My ex walked away when DD was 2 and DS was just a baby, I remarried couple of years laters and my husband is the only father they have. I don’t think DD has any memories of my ex and he has made no effort to contact.
DD is now 14 and has been playing up because she has been having friendship issues, some heartbreaks etc. Both children get on really well with their father (they don’t call him step dad they call him dad).

Should I tell my children what happened in my first marriage or will it be opening a Pandora box?

What is the right age to tell them ?
They don’t ask because I think they’re happy in their life generally and have a father in their lives but I feel may be I should just tell them.

Other question is how much detail to give ? It was an abusive relationship, how much details to give them? They know marriage didn’t work and we got divorced so just saying this will not give any closure will it ?

Please help!

@AlwaysOnTheGo1417

Is this it IFound, I feel she says no because she knows it will open up my wounds and although she has been challenging, I know she loves me dearly.

I also remember there wasn't one specific thing I wanted to know, so didn't know what to ask. Relationships aren't black-and-white especially Relationships that broke down, so it's hard to ask about one thing or aspect. Maybe get a timeline together you got together, dd was conceived, ex assaulted you (general outline) etc then discuss. Sit down and offer the information, In hindsight I wish my mother had taken the lead and personally would of handled it different but there was different aspects to my situation.

Do they need to know anything more than the fact it was an unhappy marriage, and although sad, it was a bit of a relief that the marriage ended. Highlight the positives that it meant you all met your DH and were able to build a happy family together.