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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU over comments made to my DH by his friend

17 replies

IceIzzy69 · 06/02/2022 20:25

We regularly go out, my DH knows quite a lot of people. His hometown but I’ve only lived there 2 years. Lots of groups mixing together while we are out, everyone knows everyone. There is one female friend who whenever she sees my husband asks him if he is happy with me! This has been asked in front of me and also while I am not there. Now this FF is all smiles etc but I am really annoyed that she keeps asking the same question. I’ve asked my DH to politely ask her to stop, but he thinks I am overreacting. I finally told him that I am going to speak to her about this, my DH thinks I should just let it go as it’s just her way. This has been going on since we first met each other. I’ve finally reached the end of my tether. We have been together over 5 years and married for 2 years, my DH is not the type to be confrontational and he wouldn’t like to upset anyone. . I am now annoyed at both of them am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 06/02/2022 20:31

Of COURSE YANBU. Fuck what your husband says. Ask her why she keeps asking. Cheeky cow. Hmm What's her game?

Original poster
IceIzzy69 · 06/02/2022 20:34

This is my thinking my hubby is such a gentle giant he hates any type of confrontation but your right I have had enough, we I first met her she was all smiles etc but now I’m thinking she isn’t to be trusted at all.

OP posts:
Tothemoonandbackx · 06/02/2022 20:35

I'd be tempted to say something to her next time she feels it's appropriate to be so rude in front of you both. Why is she so concerned if he's happy with you in particular. Fair enough is she's asked how he was and if he's happy in general, but to ask "with you" how can he not see that's its totally inappropriate!?!?!?

HelloFrostyMorning · 06/02/2022 20:36

Too right! Either she fancies him OR (and this is more likely,) she is jealous of the relationship between you and your DH. Either way she is out of order.

MadMadMadamMim · 06/02/2022 20:37

The next time she asked it in front of me I would be tempted to laugh and say Honestly! We're all aware that you fancy DH and wish he'd leave me for you, but this is getting a bit embarrassing now! You ask this every time we meet. It's not going to happen.

Then I'd give a big smile.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 06/02/2022 20:39

I think theres a difference between 'why the fuck are you asking him that, bitch', and 'put of interest, why do you repeatedly ask him that'. It doesn't need to be confrontational.

If he doesnt get it, I'd ask a male friend to keep asking you that infront of your husband and see how he likes it. Petty bout effective

Original poster
IceIzzy69 · 06/02/2022 20:39

I don’t know her at all tbh have been polite etc so I wasn’t sure if she is just rude or something else. But I’m starting to think it might be jealousy FF is single and had been for a long time apparently.

OP posts:
Original poster
IceIzzy69 · 06/02/2022 20:41

I like this one!!! My DH wouldn’t definitely not like that. So he would know how I feel.

OP posts:
Adm1010 · 06/02/2022 20:41

Yanbu . Absolutely I’d say something to her .

I remember someone telling me I was “ lucky to have “ my DH

Original poster
IceIzzy69 · 06/02/2022 20:42

Sorry first post I’m still learning, if I’m posting out of sequence I apologise

OP posts:
HelloFrostyMorning · 06/02/2022 20:43

@DrinkFeckArseBrick

I think theres a difference between 'why the fuck are you asking him that, bitch', and 'put of interest, why do you repeatedly ask him that'. It doesn't need to be confrontational.

If he doesnt get it, I'd ask a male friend to keep asking you that infront of your husband and see how he likes it. Petty bout effective

Yes, no need for conflict @IceIzzy69 as drinkfeck says, just ask her (calmly,) why she keeps repeatedly asking him that.
Itsnottheendoftheworldisit · 06/02/2022 20:45

Why is it any of her business? I’d be telling her to mind her own….. it’s weird she keeps asking.

roarfeckingroarr · 06/02/2022 20:50

Depends how she asks it. I often ask friends bluntly "are you happy? Is all going well with x?" with no motives except to ask an honest question

Isntisironic1 · 06/02/2022 20:51

YANBU in the slightest. Next time she says it infront of you say ‘did you mean to say that out loud’ if she says yes or WDYM ask her what her intention was with that question. That should shut her up plus it will make her look like a dick.
You need to have a frank discussion with your husband too. He may feel that she doesn’t mean anything by it but the point is it makes you feel uncomfortable anc it upsets you. Your husband should have your back no matter what

MiniCooperLover · 06/02/2022 20:57

So he wouldn't like to upset anyone ... but he doesn't mind her clearly upsetting you?

Original poster
IceIzzy69 · 06/02/2022 21:07

Thank you everyone, it’s good to know I’m not being an idiot. Just speaking to husband ( he is at work) explained calmly and clearly enough is enough. Next time his FF repeats her question I’m calling her out. I don’t care who is there I’ve been quiet long enough. He might not want to upset FF but she is upsetting me and his priority is me his wife.

OP posts:
Poshjock · 06/02/2022 21:22

Or you could try giving her the answer she doesnt want to hear strategy:

If you are there, he should promply put is arm around you and say something like "this woman is the best thing that ever happened to me"
or
If you are not there, put on his dreamiest expression and say something like "I honest don't know what I'd do without her"

You both could have fun making up new superlatives to say about you.

She'd soon get pretty damn fed up hearing that

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