To dislike my ds going to his dads

[Honeysuckle45]

This isn't a wwyd, I already know that I can't change the situation. I suppose it's just a vent.

Share a ds9 with my ex. Split when ds was young. Overall rub along ok but he was and still can be very demanding, controlling and abusive when he doesn't get his own way. He parents differently to me but nothing too extreme and ds has a good relationship with his dad and that side of the family.

I just don't like it. Even after 7 years of it I'm still not comfortable with it. I hate having to negotiate every single Christmas and birthday. I hate having to turn down plans if ds is at his dads one weekend so not available. I keep myself busy when he's away and I do enjoy the peace sometimes but only because I have to. I still miss him like mad and only ever feel totally happy and content when he's home with me. He's going on holiday for a week over summer with his dad and I'm already dreading it.

I'm currently pregnant and feel excited at the prospect of having a child that doesn't have to go away EOW but then also guilty because ds situation is different.

Ds seems happy enough and has never really known any different. Logically I know that this is our situation and I have to just make peace with it but every now and then, especially when ex is being demanding or difficult, I feel so resentful that I miss out on so much time with my son. Anyone else?

Ime a further pregnancy highlights how things could have been different.. How guilty you feel- even when it isn't your fault - that your current dc hasn't got a fantastically easy life.. Well ime life really does find a way to work out!!
Congratulations on your new dc op.. Make sure your ex doesn't spoil it for your ds.

I have the opposite, my ex doesn’t see our kids at all and I would give anything for a regular break 😭

If he only goes every other week then he is with you the vast majority of the time?

He is with me the majority of the time but it feels like a lot of our time is spent running between school, clubs, appointments and so on. We don't actually get much one on one quality time.

I know it's great my ds has regular contact and a good relationship with his dad. I just still find it hard. I don't think many people have kids expecting to spend a lot of time away from them.

And many people don’t have kids expecting to raise them solo.
It is good he sees his dad, eow really isn’t a lot of time if it was every weekend I would see your point.