Tips & advice for being a single parent

[susanica]

Hi everyone. It looks like I'm going to be a single parent from June and I'm feeling totaly overwhelmed by that thought. I'd read a baby bible book and it made me feel even more freaked about the whole thing with so many things to rememeber and get in place.
Can anyone advise on the really essential things to get into place pre baby arrival and coping mechanisms for going it alone? I do suffer from an underlying mental health condition so not being overwhelmed is important to me.

I’m a single parent but had a partner when they were very young.

The things which I think would be most valuable would be a weekly cleaner if you can afford it; arranging someone (friend? family) to come over and cuddle baby for a couple of hours a couple of times a week so that you can rest and shower; a decent stock of meals in the freezer; a decent stock of clothes incase you get behind with washing.

For me the hardest times are when one of them is ill/teething etc. So definitely keep a stash of coupol, teething gel etc in the house. And I know lots of people swear by a binbag under the bed with a new pack of wipes and a change of clothes for when baby is sick.

Good luck. Single parenting is hard when they’re little but gets much much better as they grow - I wouldn’t change it for the world now!

Take all the help you can. Any offers of babysitting etc. Use it, do not feel guilt. Try and keep up with your social life as much as possible too, to give you someone to bounce off and rant to. Organisation is the key too. Maybe not so much in the beginning, but later on I find having lunches packed, clothes ready the night before invaluable.

Cleaning requires some kind of routine, wash load a day, keep on top of the washing up. Try and do one room a day even if its a 15min run around.

I'm a lone parent of 3, my youngest was 6 months when he left. Shes now almost 4 and I think we have things down to a tee 90% of the Time.

Organisation and routine....especially try and ensure you have your evenings to yourself when they are a baby...you will need this downtime. If you are ill ask for help....it is a special relationship...

• Don't worry about the housework, do whatever gets you from one day to the next.
• What other people think (except possibly the health visitor) is completely irrelevant.
• Babies have never read parenting books, so don't get too hung up on rules.
• for every bit of advice, there is an equal and contradictory one. Nod, smile and do what you think is best.
• Don't be afraid to ask for help. Generally people are lovely.

• You and LO will work out how to co-exist together. You'll learn to sleep when he/she sleeps.
• Everyone cocks up, it does not make you a bad mum.
• Everyone has a "baby rolled off the sofa" story, thankfully babies are resilient little things. But a towel on the floor is safer (and cheaper) than a changing table.

I thought I was super-prepared until I needed a baby thermometer - sick baby - 3am. Everyone misses something

Good luck xx

Round my way the only supermarket that delivers next day is Iceland. Although not the fanciest it’s a godsend when you need the basics brought to your door. Could do an online shop one evening and have the stuff delivered first thing next morning. And spending over £40 free delivery. Once I became a single mum I decided I wasn’t going to lug stuff around.

Good ideas here

Single mother after feeling d v

It is hard work but the peace in the house from not being around a bad man is amazing

Anyway
Def online shopping

Extras in the house just in case

Meds stocked up as you never know when you both could need them

Go EASY on yourself
Don't compare yourself to the yummy mummy's with the rich husbands who seem to have it all

I was the only single parent in my last workplace
All my colleagues married rich men and took 18 months mat leave
I got 7 months and felt so lucky

Enjoy every minute xxxxxx

The good news is you'll have no one to argue with about parenting choices! Definitely take up all offers of help. Go to some baby classes so you find mum friends. And start the online shopping in advance so you have all your favourites sorted.

It’s tough. Accept that every stage will have an end - so you might not sleep when baby is tiny but that phase will end soon enough.

Focus on being good enough, not superwoman.

If you have high housework standards, look at lowering them. Will the world end, for example, if you hoover once a week rather than 3 times a week?

Get shopping delivered and also I recommend milk, bread and eggs to your doorstep (but it is more expensive).

Join baby groups and have something for either the morning or afternoon every day. You don’t have to go but getting out is good for both of you.

Routines will develop. They help maintain order and keep you focused. It splits the day up and you can mentally cross off each bit until you get baby to bed. Routines develop calmness and a knowledge of what to expect. Single parenting is not the time for spontaneity.

Be proud. There is so much nastiness, so many uncalled for ‘innocent’ comments, it is easy to feel second class. You will do a great job and your little one will be lucky to have you.

If you suffer from poor mental health my one and only tip is to get out regularly, go to the supermarket, join baby groups, meet up with friends.
Don’t fall into the trap of having to clean the house top to bottom before you feel you can go out anywhere (this was me, it never worked!)

Amazon prime, definitely. It’s worth the fee!
I’ve been a single mum since my eldest was 4 and from birth with my youngest. I have no family or friends so I have no one to bring me things in an emergency. Amazon deliver the same day!
They also now do same day grocery shopping from Morrisons - free delivery within an hour or two. It’s invaluable!

How old is the baby/little one? Ask for support from your local childrens centre, health visitor.. see what benefits you are entitled to. You will probably find peace in being a single mum. I’ve done it 15 years now and still standing x

Take help when offered

Go to playgroups... libraries are great

Realise you don't have to be perfect. Nobody is a perfect parent.

The people who say they couldn't be a single parent and don't know how you do it are well meaning but talking rubbish. It's hard but you do it because you must...but single parenting is massively better than parenting with a crap partner.