DS10 struggling to maintain focus and stamina

[Galaxyof]

How can I help him maintain focus for more than 5-1mins and increase his stamina for school work? He has homework that should take 20 mins a night but takes 1-2 hours because he frequently stops - sometimes to get a drink, go to the loo (delay tactics) and sometimes to stop and moan about what a waste of his time this is, or just sits daydreaming.

I have tried so many things. Short, timed sessions, sitting with him, various supplements like zinc, magnesium, DHA. He sleeps well has a good diet and gets plenty of exercise. He’s bright but his reluctance and lack of focus has left him behind at school and I worry about how he’ll cope with secondary which is not far off.

He has been diagnosed with mild dyslexia by an educational psychologist - but this is about his reluctance around studying and his inability to stay focussed on the task in hand.

I'm sure someone will be along who has a similar child with better advice than this - but, can't you just leave him to it? It seems very micro managed for 10. To me one of the main points of primary homework is learning to actually do it yourself, rather than the actual content. I'd just leave him to it, if he wants to waste two hours of his life on something that takes twenty minutes, that's his lookout.

Has he been assessed for adhd?

He does not do the work at all if left to it. We have tried that too and it’s obviously my preference for him to work independently so have supported this in various ways and still try it weekly.

He has not been assessed for ADHD. His behaviour is generally very good, no other concerns.

And then what happens at school if he hasn't done the work?

Adhd is a good shout, it isn't about bad behaviour, it's about finding it difficult to focus.

No real consequence at school but he is falling behind. He also lacks focus in lessons but will daydream and do the bare minimum so he manages to get by.

You say he day dreams? Are you aware of the characteristics of inattentive adhd? Not all kids with this condition are impulsive my 2 DC are both affected by severe inattentive ADHD both very well behaved compliant students who just drift off, on the surface they would be day dreaming but in reality they’re lost focus

DS in particular wanders off when doing work and is easily distracted, medication has worked wonders allowing them to achieve their potential

Another vote for ADHD assessment. I was diagnosed as an adult but in retrospect I was a bright but daydreaming/lazy child who could make a 5minute homework last 2hrs. Now I’m an adult and still brilliant at putting stuff off and just about scraping by. Don’t let him grow up like me, it's so stressful 😆

Do you think it's inattentive adhd or is he bring work avoidant because of the dyslexia?

Dyslexia can make you procrastinate or work avoidant. It's too hard to start, it's too hard to maintain effort to complete work but ADHD inattentive can do this too.

I'd break work down. So do it in 5 min intervals. Get him to write down all work he needs to do in tick list format. When he does one thing on the list he gets a break, visual timer clocks are brilliant like below. Set it for 5 or 10mins then when that's up he does next task.
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It could be work avoidance because he finds the work hard. I really don’t know. Some days he’s on firm and can work really well but this is rare. We use sand timers and break work into 10 min tasks.

Should say some days he is on form not firm.

So I float between sometimes thinking it’s because he finds it hard to stay focussed for longer periods (possible ADHD) and some days I just think he is work avoidant because it takes so much more out of him due to the dyslexia.

We can look into an ADHD assessment but I suspect he mildly has both dyslexia and ADHD. Who would assess for ADHD if went private - neurological paediatrician?

Working in 5-10 sessions is great for now but I don’t know how he’s going to cope with gcse exams when he’ll have to focus for long periods.

ADHD and dyslexia often go hand in hand, so it's definitely worth getting an assessment. I'm sure someone will be able to advise on how you might do that privately.

Adhd is assessed by a psychiatrist. You don't usually need a GP referral.

My son was like this. He was older but I managed to ‘train’ him to revise for his GCSEs. It was hard work with much patience required but he learned how to work and managed fine for his A levels.
First agree a time when he is going to do his work. Promise something good he can do after (my son was allowed Xbox time).
Have a dedicated space, ideally a desk. We laid all the things out - pens, hi lighter etc. Then talked about what he had to do so it was really clear. It sounds a bit ridiculous to break it all down like this, but it helped him get into the mindset that he was about to do some work. Make sure he’s been to the toilet, had a drink and a snack, so they can’t be used as delay tactics. Then make a clear time limit - you’re going to work from 5pm - 5.20 or whatever. It really helped my son to have an analogue clock on the wall - not digital so he could see visually the passage of time and how long he had left to do. I sat with him quietly in the background while he did it. Stopped when the time was up even if not done. What really helped with his concentration was getting him some ‘crazy Aaron’s Thinking Putty’ to fiddle with and me accepting that he would fidget and fiddle but some children need to do this to concentrate. Agree also an assessment for adhd would be beneficial.

Looks like crazy Aaron’s has been withdrawn since then! There are others - it’s basically something squidgy and pliable to mould and stretch.

Is he underweight ?

No he’s not underweight but I have two other boys and he is not as tall as they both were at this age.

GSCe training sounds good. We follow much the same routine but it is good to hear tips like the analogue clock