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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think dh should listen when i say the kids will be ok tonight?

37 replies

glaskham · 31/12/2007 10:21

we are going to my parents house for a little drink and some buffet food and to see the new year in with them instead of going to bed at 10.30 and sleeping through till we hear fireworks like we have done the last 4 years!!

i want to see the new year in a little differently...we're taking the kids with us...just 3yo and 20mths...i'm hoping they'll get long naps this afternoon and plan to just put them to bed when they fall asleep....ie put them in pj's and if they fall asleep they fall asleep....if there are any re-percussions from what is normally a strict 7pm bedtime then DH is off work tomorrow to help and i very much doubt there will be as in the past late nights have gone well with them sleeping a little later in the morning, and maybe a little longer for a nap...

DH is saying we should put them to bed like normal, but i want them to join in....i'm the one who does all the daily stuff with the kids as he works...i'm a sahm...shouldn't he listen to me that if anything backfires its me that will deal with it?...otherwise we'll be arriving they'd eat then go to bed!!

he doesn't mind keeping them out till 11pm at his family's party later in the month as 'we rarely see his family' and expects me to deal with it then when i said i dont mind taking them back to our hotel room.... grrrr

please back me up....if i deal with the consequences then shouldn't it be up to me if i put them to bed at the time i normally do?

OP posts:

Tortington · 31/12/2007 10:31

i suppose if thats what youwant to do there is not harm in it

although personally i can't understand why the fuck you would want over tired children praticipating in something they dont understand for what is basically your own self gratification!!

but if you want to - then they arn't going to melt and die or anything

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 10:32

join in what though?
getting pissed and singing auld lang syne!!

Original poster

glaskham · 31/12/2007 10:33

my only reasoning in them staying up is for a bit of fun, a change....why cant they join in the party style food and the fun and games?...ds would be so upset if he was upset of awake and heard us all having fun downstairs without him....i know they'd go to sleep when they're tired, they always do!!

OP posts:

oxocube · 31/12/2007 10:33

subtle, Custy, subtle

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 10:33

What about putting 20 month old to bed and seeing how long oldest lasts for?

08aGreatYearForCarmenere · 31/12/2007 10:34

Oh no glaskham he is right, if they can sleep, let them, that way you can relax and enjoy yourselves.

Hekate · 31/12/2007 10:35

Well, if you want to, like Custy says, it won't kill them.

But I have to say, I'm with her in the 'why the hell would you want to' camp.

I shall be packing mine off to bed so I can enjoy a few drinks and some nibbles without being 'Mum' and watching them, stopping them, moving them, having them interrupt me all the time.......

Original poster

glaskham · 31/12/2007 10:35

well we wont be getting pissed....myself and dh aren't big drinkers, but never normally get a chance to do something to celebrate...the plan was to eat some party food, then play games like twister or bukaroo...something ds can join in with like he has done in the past and had lots of fun....his aunty's who are 17 and 19 will be there too, and they are fab at playing games with them both....

OP posts:

08aGreatYearForCarmenere · 31/12/2007 10:35

Well they don't have to go to bed at 7 on the dot, you have to be flexible but after they have had a bit of food and the relatives have made a fuss, put them to bed.

FrannyandZooey · 31/12/2007 10:35

"otherwise we'll be arriving they'd eat then go to bed!"

can't see the problem with that myself, there will be plenty other new year's when they will be old enough to participate, but it's up to you

Hekate · 31/12/2007 10:37

What about a later bedtime, say, 830 or 9pm? That way it's special, they have lots of fun and participate, but they don't get very overtired (which is just miserable!) AND you get some adult-time too. Win-win.

Hulababy · 31/12/2007 10:37

Whenever we have that sort of night DD has always just fallen asleep whenever, wthout the strict bedtime. I personally can't see the problem. Routines are all very well but IMO it is also good for children to be flexible too. Chances are they will flake out pretty early on anyway.

5yo DD will be up late tonight, along with her two 6yo friends. Who knows when they will drop - but they will eventually, and they will have fun and it will be exciting for them to be up late together, having a "pyjama party" type thing.

We are lucky - DD is very flexible with bedtime/wake up. She went to bed at 10:30 a few days ago; woke up at 10am. It is normal for DD to sleep in if she stays up late, which for us is great - we get a lie in too that way.

Hulababy · 31/12/2007 10:37

Twiglett · 31/12/2007 10:37

you're wrong

DH is right

Custardo is extremely right and should be worshipped

Original poster

glaskham · 31/12/2007 10:42

ok shall i just get my coat then....???

I KNOW my two will sleep when they're tired...it may take dd a little cuddle to drop off but that wouldn't have to be by me....and i'm not expecting them to stay up till midnight by any means... i expect they'd go to sleep at 9.30-10ish anyway....dad plans to set off a couple of fireworks early so they can at least see a couple....its either that or we arrive, feed them and put them upstairs to bed while were downstairs having a good time and they're upstairs not able to sleep because of the noise...which would be worse than them being allowed to drop when they're tired!!...or we put them to bed and sit in silence so they can sleep....when the point of them being allowed to stay up is so we dont have to be silent!!

OP posts:

Hulababy · 31/12/2007 10:43

If DH wants to put them to bed at a certin time - then leave the whole bedtime routine stuff, etc to him.

We go for the relaxed route, works for us.

chopchopbusybusy · 31/12/2007 10:44

I'd play it by ear. If they start to look overly tired then put them to bed. If they're OK then keep them up. I doubt if they will sleep much later in the morning though. My DDs always seemed to wake up at the same time no matter when they went to bed, so if they do stay up you need to be prepared for grumpiness tomorrow.

LowFat · 31/12/2007 10:45

Is there going to be any other LO's.

We might be taking ours out tonight and we will have to walk home again afterwards (about 1 mile) DD (4) will walk DS (1) in pushchair. I know DS will sleep in pushchair and DD will have a great time with the other DC's. However if they were to be the only children, we'd be staying hiome and seeing new year in with a bottle of something nice and a cuddle (I hope - but that's another thread).

Original poster

glaskham · 31/12/2007 10:52

no, they'd be the only ones i think....possibe chance that a couple of my cousins children may drop in for a bit....

my 2 are flexible with bedtime...they normally sleep in till 8.30 in a morning after a 7pm bedtime....and do sleep in if are put to bed later...when we went to a family bonfire night they fell asleep at 10pm and woke up at 9.30 am and weren't grumpy in the slightest....so i know there is only a slim chance i'll have any consequences...but hubby thinks they are too young to join in....i just feel we shouldn't exclude them if they can take part in some of the evening...

plus we bought the dc's fleecy sleeping bags to start using when staying over at family's houses and ds is so exited about using his that he'll probs cuddle up in it on the couch all night and just fall asleep at 8 or so anyway!! haha!!

OP posts:

fullmoonfiend · 31/12/2007 11:08

As they get older they will demand to stay up (and fail, gettig increasingly grumpy and vile as the night wears on)
Make the most of the fact that at this tender age they will sleep and you can party, and save the participation for future years.
If it bothers you, let them have some party food and ballons etc before they go to bed?

fullmoonfiend · 31/12/2007 11:09

my two are 10 and 7, we are all going round to friends with similar dc and they will party upstairs (with the magic of Nintendos and DVDs) until they crash and burn and we will take turns n going upstairs to plead with them to go to sleep

discoverlife · 31/12/2007 11:24

I personally don't see any problem, I am betting that at around 9pm you will find that the 3yo has crawled into your lap and is asleep. the 20mth old should be put down as soon as is appropriate (cuddles with nanna etc). If they get stroppy then they can be sent to bed. DH is being very inflexible as if NYE is inviolate a purly adult only night.

OrmIrian · 31/12/2007 11:29

Ours will be up and about with us at a friends house. We probably won't stay until midnight because they can't make it that long. I like having them around too. There will be a houseful of children so it will be like one big party for them too.

YANBU. It's only one day a year.

madamez · 31/12/2007 11:30

Let them stay up till they are tired, that's what I've always done with my DS on special occasions (which tended to mean putting him to 'bed' in his buggy about an hour later than normal). And if your DH doesn;t like the idea, then putting them to bed is his job.

Original poster

glaskham · 31/12/2007 11:30

thanks discoverlife....thats exactly how i feel- i feel they should be allowed to join in even if only for a couple of hours before they drop off!! and they are very good children, honestly, fantastic when out at things like this!! and there wont be too many family relatives there fussing over them etc....and it would be a shame to put them to bed where they could clearly hear our antics downstairs, so not go to sleep properly...ds will be in a bed and able to get out of the room anyway, so i know putting him down when he wants to be with us having fun will backfire!!....i just feel it would be better all round if they just ahd a flexible night where they can just sleep where they fall then be moved to their beds once asleep!!

OP posts:

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