When will my baby sleep?????

[Givemehopeee]

11 months old, wakes every bloody hour! It was every 2-3 hours after the 4 month regression and now every single hour. I’ve somehow survived this long but I’m starting to reach breaking point.

DH doesn’t even stir during the night so he’s no help. He tries to help with the wakings before we go to bed but DS won’t settle with him even though DH does everything I do.

We’ve sleep trained and he can put himself to sleep at bedtime, but still wakes every hour and screams Bloody Mary until you settle him.

When will it get better?

Have you tried cosleeping once he wakes? It was the only thing that helped us. With my DS he was about 2 when he settled, his sister is 4 and still doesn’t sleep through! But she just needs a quick cuddle now so it has got better.

@WorriedGiraffe

Have you tried cosleeping once he wakes? It was the only thing that helped us. With my DS he was about 2 when he settled, his sister is 4 and still doesn’t sleep through! But she just needs a quick cuddle now so it has got better.

We now co sleep half the time. He still wakes up every hour but he settles more quickly when I’m next to him.

So potentially 3 more years…!😭😭😭

Mine were on average 2 aswell unfortunately, our current 18 month old is like this, screams out and writhes around hourly through the night

My first was 20 months - hoping for similar with my 6 month old

For context OP I didn’t try sleep training and they didn’t go off to sleep easily either! So hopefully not for you as you’ve got good foundations in place. Mine just hate sleep

In my experience up and down, so you might not have to wait years but rather might find phases of settled sleep (to enjoy!) and more disrupted times.

Please try to find a balance with your DH. 'Not waking up' is just irresponsible parenting but if that is a full no go, then find another way to make sure you get proper time to rest and not be dealing with everything. Regular disrupted sleep is so harsh on you, don't just accept it.

In terms of helping your DC to sleep more, there are so many options. My advice would be to pick whichever one you're committed to sticking to at 4am when your reserves are at their lowest.

It will get better, best of luck.

The Facebook group Respectful Sleep Training has been very helpful for me with sleep re-sets. I’d suggest popping on there for advice. What you’ll probably find is consistency is key. Define a plan and stick to it. We’ve always used Ferber. Whenever we hit a sleep regression with our 3 DCs, we go back to the Ferber method after a couple of nights and they’re typically back to sleeping 7:30-6 reasonably consistently (though my 8-month-old is killing me with 5am wake ups at the moment!)

Up every hour is unliveable! But your DC is probably getting confused if sometimes you settle him, sometimes DP, sometimes co sleep… if you pick a sleep training method and are 100% consistent for a week or two, you should be able to move past this. Good luck!

My older dc slept through at 10 months then at 2-2.5 years or so but my younger dc was still waking up and screaming bloody murder every night until 6-7 years and still does some nights and is coming up to 10 years now, I didn’t do anything different with any o them, so it’s not you.

You’ll think oh but a bigger kid can sort themselves out and they can to an extent but when they need you, they just do and there’s not much to be done about it. I can guarantee a hysterical night terroring 4,5,6 year old is not more reasonable than an upset 2yo.

Lots and lots of coffee, and sympathetic friends, and a day off here and there where you can steal an alone daytime nap if ever possible.

Are there any feeding issues? Intolerances? Allergies? Excessive wind?

My baby had a lactose intolerance. We didn’t realise for ages but it turned his sleep around overnight without exaggeration.

Those who saw an improvement at 2, was that a gradual improvement up to 2, or did the improvement start at 2? I just want some hope. Hope has got me through it so far, because I always believed by now he would be better, but he’s gone worse.

Tbh I’m now sceptical about any further sleep training. It got us to the point where I can put him down wide awake at the start of the night and he happily goes to sleep (which is massively helpful), but that’s it. He does not self settle throughout the rest of the night. He goes absolutely hysterical if you leave him.

No feeding issues as far as I know. He has an egg allergy so he doesn’t eat egg and nor do I just in case it affects the breast milk. He does have severe tongue tie, so not sure if that plays a part.

DH not pulling his weight is a separate issue. I’ve just about tolerated it whilst I’ve been on mat leave, but there is no way the current dynamics can continue when I’m back at work.

My daughter was horrendous at sleeping, I remember at 11 months, just as I was returning to work, her waking up for hours at a time. When she was 16 months we went on holiday and something just clicked, she’s slept through consistently since then (now four). I used to find that if I stayed calm (not suggesting you aren’t, but you’re a saint if you’re able to whilst being woken up hourly!) it made her fall back asleep quicker and I was able to drop off easier too. Sending love though, it’s truly horrendous and I look back in horror!