To want just a couple of hours on my own

[platerspinner]

Between work, looking after both DS and housework I'm never in the house on my own. I'm not an overly outgoing social person and really value just having the house to myself to relax and potter about...but it never ever happens! Weekends are usually spent doing activities with the kids and seeing family and friends which is lovely, but just once in a while I'd love to be on my own. Came home from DS swimming lesson and said to DH let's plan tomo round me having a couple of hours alone in the house. That was met with huffs and puffs of weekend time is for family and he never gets that and now he's being a bit off with me like I've created an atmosphere.
Our house is run 50/50 and he's great at looking after the kids but he works from home now so has 3 days a week in the house on his own, I know he's 'at work' but he has a lunch hour, often goes for run and mentions he's caught up on tv he's wanted to watch so he def uses the time to his advantage.
He'll also go for a couple of runs over the weekend which each take 1.5hrs after stretching/showering etc. he told me this doesn't count as he's doing it for fitness not enjoyment 🙄

I totally get it. Luckily I work from home while my son is at nursery 3 days per week. So I get a bit of time to get the house in order and just have the place to myself without someone else hanging off me or tripping over toys. I'm fairly busy at work but I can usually do a few stretches, get some washing on and sit and have a cup of tea in peace during lunch.

We are slowly migrating back to the office from the end of this month so I feel like I will loose my personal space time if that makes sense.

I totally understand but no advice! DH is a SAHD and I work 4 days a week. When I'm not at work I'm with our preschooler, pretty much. I just say to DH that I need a couple of hours to do x and go. But it's a rare day when my time to myself coincides with DH and DS being out! DH gets three days when DS is at nursery but I get maybe an hour max on the odd occasion DH takes DS to the park when I'm home.

I do a couple of exercise classes out of the home, but there's nothing like having the TV and sofa to yourself with no-one around! I can only suggest telling DH that you're going to do something upstairs and then shutting yourself away, at least as a starting point.

Yes all I would love is just to be in the house with us silent and tidy unfortunately my work is client facing so as soon as lockdown lifted back in summer 2020 we've been back into offices.

Point out that his runs are for physical health and your request is for mental health.

“Our house is run 50/50 and he's great at looking after the kids but he works from home now so has 3 days a week in the house on his own, I know he's 'at work' but he has a lunch hour, often goes for run and mentions he's caught up on tv he's wanted to watch so he def uses the time to his advantage.”

Say this to him. Also, if you sloped off for 1.5 hours for ‘fitness’ today, would he be fine with it?

He'll also go for a couple of runs over the weekend which each take 1.5hrs after stretching/showering etc. he told me this doesn't count as he's doing it for fitness not enjoyment
He's unbelievable.
Try telling him that you want 2 x 1.5 hours each weekend, to spend doing something for "fitness not enjoyment" & find out what bullshit excuse he comes up with next, & how he justifies the fact that you cannot have time out, but he can.

but he has a lunch hour, often goes for run and mentions he's caught up on tv he's wanted to watch so he def uses the time to his advantage.
He has 5 hours + in the house to himself for leisure, but you don't get the same as you work outside & presumably commute.
This isn't running the house 50/50 as you claim in your OP.
He has at least 8 hours - equivalent to a full working day - to do as he pleases.

How does he justify this, & maintain it "doesn't count"?
He 'owes' you a day's worth of leisure every week.

So just another selfish man that has 3 lovely days a week doing stuff for himself and a bit of work and long runs for his health but you can't get a couple of hours for your health?

He's a selfish prick and you are a doormat.

I suggest you tell him firmly that he bucks up or he will have a serious problem.

Why are you tolerating such selfishness?

You deserve better.

Take up running too, straight to your nearest coffee shop and stay there for as long as you need.

I know the feeling only too well, except my DH really, truly can't help in fact I am his carer too.

@HarrietSchulenberg

Point out that his runs are for physical health and your request is for mental health.

Sounds reasonable. My sister in law throws my brother and the kids out at the dot of 10.30 evert Saturday. They are allowed home after lunch. No idea what she does but she looks v chilled.