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Original poster

Sex with coworkers

54 replies

rahjama · 05/02/2022 00:04

NC. Repost as I posted earlier under the wrong title and got no responses.

I work in hospitality. Think bar/pub/restaurant. I've worked at this particular place for 2 years. Ever since I started I thought it was odd, but really more so recently.

It is the complete norm in my workplace to sleep with each other. I am not joking. We are completely understaffed, think 10 people. Of these 10, a solid 7 of them sleep with each other.

I want to stress I do not, I have had a partner the entire time I've worked there. The other two I don't include is a gentleman about 60 who is absolutely besotted by his wife of 30+ years, and a woman in her 50/60s.

One example of how normalised this is, is one day I will be having a conversation with, let's call him Jack, about how he is planning a second baby with his girlfriend. The next day he came into work and was asking me "from a girls perspective" about Emma (fake name) from work and what she likes etc as in tips to chat her up.

OF COURSE I have asked him how he is with both of them - that is cheating wtf ?? And his response will be that he is going through it with his at home girlfriend, they're not really together, she is probably seeing someone else, etc.

Emma is another one who has a partner at home. I believe they're separated but still living together. She has been with Jack, "Olivia" (doesn't work here anymore) "Kayla", and "Gary"

"Kayla" has also been with "Dawn".

"Dawn" has been with the MANAGER "Pete" and "Pete" has also been with Olivia who doesn't work here anymore.

Jack has the girlfriend. Gary is engaged. Dawn is single. Kayla is single. Pete is single. Emma is single. So it's not all just people cheating on their partners. My point was that just everyone sleeps with each other and that had never been a thing at either of the other two hospitality workplaces I've worked at.

Ahhhhh just wanted to rant about how weird and fucked up it is at my workplace. And like I said the managers do it too so it's not like they can enforce a "no seeing your coworkers" rule.

It happens inside and outside the workplace - can walk into the kitchen or staff room and find two people kissing. They will obviously pull away as soon as you walk in but you know they've been doing it. Staff room door is sometimes locked and I know stuff has gone on in there because people tell each other!
Go out for drinks and people end up in each other's hotel rooms.

I will just add that everyone is between the ages 25-45. So not huge age gaps. Except for the two older ones I mentioned above

Just wanted to post to see if anyone else's hospitality or non hospitality workplace is as bad as that. These people aren't bad people and they are my friends - just super weird I thought

OP posts:
PaddleBoardingMomma · 05/02/2022 08:56

Oh and just to add, it tended to be say the guys from the Irish side shagging the Welsh/English girls, or the Welsh/English guys shagging the girls from the Irish side, I suppose that helped in it never being uncovered as when they went home they were on different sides of the Irish Sea!

Balula · 05/02/2022 09:02

I work in a bar, I can confirm this is how it is. (Apart from me, I'm about 10 years older than the rest of them and married)

mumda · 05/02/2022 09:22

@Stillfunny

Worked in a Council department and it was pretty bad , especially when you would meet spouses at various times. But I believe it very common in police and medical staff .
www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/pair-quit-over-office-sex-906959

I think the secret it not doing it in a window.

Moglie · 05/02/2022 10:01

It bonds teams together when there’s an ‘us and them’ and they’ve felt adrenaline rushes and pressure to meet tight deadlines, they tend to be fitter because they’re active all shift, they finish at weird times when families and other friends are in bed….

I worked in hospitals for years and this was pretty common there too.

WomanStanleyWoman · 05/02/2022 10:06

@Houseofvelour

I can already see this one getting picked up by the daily mail. 🤦‍♀️

FUCK THE DAILY MAIL

Yeah, that’ll stop ‘em…
Planetzero · 05/02/2022 10:09

My friend works in Asda and says everyone is having it off with each other.

longwayoff · 05/02/2022 10:16

Sounds vile. Obviously, I haven't lived. No wonder some people have no idea of appropriate boundaries and find themselves asking for advice from strangers on MN.

WomanStanleyWoman · 05/02/2022 10:18

One guy was dating a girl he was managing, whilst shagging a girl from 'fresh' department.

I bet she wasn’t that fresh…

SartresSoul · 05/02/2022 10:20

I think it’s a bad idea, a very bad idea. DH is close with a coworker who started dating someone from work about 2 years ago now and he’s desperate to leave her because she’s very controlling but feels like he can’t because he’ll have to see her every day at work. He feels totally trapped with this woman he can’t really stand. Everyone else in the office thinks they’re happy but he’s desperate to leave her.

Don’t shit where you eat.

hibbledibble · 05/02/2022 10:30

Yes, I remember visiting a friend of a friend to congratulate him on finishing his first bar shift, and he had his boss in his bed, waiting to get shagged. Mega awkward!

In my experience this doesn't apply to hospital doctors though, as by the time you have finished medical school, most already have partners, and our jobs are very unsexy, with no drinking involved.

MrWhippyBloon · 05/02/2022 14:05

I worked in a sales office and it was RIFE in the sales teams (work hard play hard culture) - people were having affairs left right and centre.

Piglet89 · 05/02/2022 14:15

@USaYwHatNow was same in tesco when I worked there for a little bit.

sanpell · 05/02/2022 14:15

100% a thing in the NHS. I've personally hooked up with 5 doctors just in my hospital (albeit huge) and numerous other Dr's from other Trusts too.

x2boys · 05/02/2022 14:24

It was pretty rife when I was a nurse ,I was a mental health nurse ,so work could be pretty stressful ,added together with unsocial working hours .

Original poster
rahjama · 05/02/2022 14:39

Ahhh no way I genuinely would have no idea it goes on in HOSPITALS ???

OP posts:
JurgensCakeBabyJesus · 05/02/2022 14:49

When I was young and worked in bars it was like this, mostly single younger people though, there was one woman who was married who had an affair with one of the much younger single chefs and it was really open. She even had a house party when her husband and child were away and the chef stayed there with her in the marital bed. Everyone raised an eyebrow at that. I saw her recently with her husband....
I think some of it was lots of young single people in one place and because you work the busy socialising times you end up drinking/partying with each other either after work or on Tuesday nights and things like that. So it's basically opportunity, a bit like uni

ambereeree · 05/02/2022 15:20

I worked in sales around 15 years ago and we were all at it. Not many were married but some in long term relationships.

Poptart4 · 05/02/2022 15:34

I worked in a pud 30yrs ago and it was rife. Everyone from the door men to the bar staff, lounge staff and managers. Most of them were in relationships and cheating with Co workers.

I've heard it's rife in the police force too. I know a couple of people who've had affairs with married police men.

longwayoff · 05/02/2022 15:41

I have led a very sheltered life. I've often thought that soaps etc over-egg the pudding on the shagging front but clearly I know nothing. Blimey. What my life could have been!

GiantHaystacks2021 · 05/02/2022 15:56

Temped in a bank once. Most of the men seemed to be cheating on their wives and also used prostitutes.

sanpell · 05/02/2022 16:05

@rahjama

Ahhh no way I genuinely would have no idea it goes on in HOSPITALS ???
Absolutely, every combination you can think of, and it occurs at work a lot of the time too.
DrManhattan · 05/02/2022 16:06

Worked in sales years ago, there was so much of this going on. Senior manager and husband worked in the same department, she left him for a guy who worked there but in another department, who at the time was shagging someone in her team. One of many stories.

SoItWas · 05/02/2022 16:08

I think the only person who's slept with a colleague, in my workplace, was me (I shagged the boss, several times) Blush. He left soon after though (he was only temporary).

So I really shouldn't judge, but it does seem weird . Does it ever get awkward?

Balula · 05/02/2022 17:35

This is why if I ever get a drink from a pub that comes out a bottle, I have it in a glass because there is a high chance that crate of bottles has had a naked sweaty arse on it where someone's had sex in the cellar.

When I'm serving drinks I aways give the bottles a discreet clean with a hot cloth. 😳

lap90 · 05/02/2022 18:35

Having spoken with friends it's pretty common in workplaces... and not just hospitality.

I remember being pretty shocked to find out some people I work with are married with children... because the way they behave at work...

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