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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I need to go no contact with my Dad don't I?

11 replies

plantingtheseed · 04/02/2022 23:45

There's no other choice really is there?

I have known before that my Dad didn't agree with being gay and didn't agree with same sex marriage but what I have heard him say is sickening beyond words. He said gay people should be shot a birth, I'm pretty sure what my Dad has said is a crime and he could be arrested if I reported it.

No contact is the only way forward isn't it?

OP posts:

Ziga · 04/02/2022 23:47

What an awful, awful thing for him to say, I’m sorry OP. What’s your relationship like in general?

Ponoka7 · 04/02/2022 23:48

If you are gay then yes, NC is the only way forward. What he said constitutes hate speech.

Original poster

plantingtheseed · 04/02/2022 23:51

I am not gay but I am so shocked and speechless by what he said

OP posts:

Guavaf1sh · 04/02/2022 23:53

I also agree that if you’re gay you would be better off without contact for now at least. If people say these awful things in the house the police will not be interested though saying them in public is a wholly different thing

DysmalRadius · 04/02/2022 23:53

You wouldn't choose to hang out with someone who says things like this (and, as you rightly point out, you might report them to the police for hate speech), so why accept it from the person who is supposed to love you most in the world? I don't think it matters whether you are gay or not - he is full of hate and you cannot have a positive relationship with someone who has this level of spite within them.

D0lphine · 05/02/2022 00:04

I'd ask him not to voice his opinions around you.

If he can keep quiet then I'd continue the relationship. If he can't I'd go no contact.

We don't have to agree with all the views our family members hold. Thank god!

InvalidCrumb · 05/02/2022 00:07

What do you mean 'agree with being gay'? Who's asking him to agree to it? Is someone trying to marry him against his will?

If that's how he words it he's thick as shit. His views are gross and I don't think I'd get anything out of having a relationship with this person.

CoilWatershed · 05/02/2022 13:43

I would. I could never face being in the same room as someone who thought this.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 05/02/2022 16:01

@plantingtheseed

There's no other choice really is there?

No contact is the only way forward isn't it?

How does this fuckwit suggest identifying gay people at birth?

Not only is he an arsehole, he's a thick arsehole.

CareBear50 · 05/02/2022 18:18

I wouldn't go no contact. But I'd absolutely make it clear he is not to state this in front of you, or your kids (if you have any) as his views are reprehensible.

Alternatively ask him why his views are so awful....not in a sarky way.....but I wonder with comments like that if he had childhood sexual trauma. Could be completely wrong.....but those v v strong views often come from a place of trauma

Craftycorvid · 05/02/2022 18:38

Would he listen if you said you love him but his views are leaving you questioning whether you can have a meaningful relationship with him? What he is saying is quite clearly unacceptable. A religious conflict with gay marriage, fair enough if those are your feelings and you acknowledge they aren’t shared by everyone around you, but he’s (however deliberately he may be upping the ante) advocating murder.

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