I’ll try and keep this short!
So I’ve always had a strange relationship with my older twin sisters. I know they love me and I love them as sisters, and I know if anything happened to me they’d be the first ones there. But I grew up sort of as the annoying younger sister and they were very clicky (which I guess is understandable - and thought would get better with age!). I always felt quite judged by them and as a result I’m fairly quiet at family events, they also made me feel sometimes that I couldn’t like the same stuff as them as I was copying them. So I find i keep my personality quite hidden, never play music around them etc. They have group chats with my cousins without me.
In the last few years I’ve suffered with bouts of depression and social anxiety. I admit sometimes I’ve been a downer (when I’ve gone through break ups, bad spell etc) but sometimes there’s been drunken arguments where they’ll both be very drunk and tell me I’m depressing, my life is a car crash etc. I don’t feel like they’re very supportive in what I do but admit some may have been my fault eg I thought of packing up and impulsively moving to another place last year but they told me they think I’d be stupid as I’m not capable (they say they were saying this out of love and were being honest with me).
We have also fallen out in the past due to horrible comments such as I am boring, ugly etc and they are always calling me over sensitive.
Fast forward to 6 months ago and I get into a new relationship. My DP is the kindest, most loving person and I’ve never been happier. I lived at home with parents and one sister (age 27) at this point. At that time I was seeing him 2/3 times a week and eventually brought him over each Tuesday night which as far as I knew was fine.
They were really welcoming and they said they really like DP. But sister (27, lives at home) created problems for me in my head (to do with me, not him) such as “you’re being too clingy” “you see him too much” “he said he was tired once and you still brought him round” (I said he didn’t have to but he really wanted to come).
She said my one picture I put of us online was “too cringey” (not a cringey caption or anything!).
She said that I’m “toxic” and “let’s see how long this lasts” (bearing in mind my last relationship was 5 years and ended very amicably).
She said that I “act different around him” when actually I feel I’m not myself around my sisters on their own usually so my personality actually comes out.
In the end I’d had enough of the persistent judging. I moved in with a friend. Since then I’ve not heard a peep from them, apart from one seemingly sarcastic reply to a post I uploaded, trying to make me sound stupid.
When I have visited my parents, sister doesn’t say hello or ask how I am, she just makes some sort of comment and then leaves the room when I talk to my parents about my life.
Me and DP have also noticed that back in September they “liked” his photo of us two together - and have recently unliked it. The fact that they’ve gone to all that trouble makes me think “wow, am I really that bad?” And maybe it is me.
I’ve had to try and really narrow this down but I hope this makes sense. It’s been the same story forever but I’m just tired now. Am I the troubled one? I’m really hurt.