To no longer want to just 'settle'?

[slipperylittlesukker]

At the ripe old age of the latter part of 40, I am simply exhausted with being married to and dating men who lie, cheat, abuse and who have basically no clue about what a relationship really entails. I'm not sure what planet they live on, but I live in reality and i am aware that problems arise and as adults we deal with them, not flee, dump, ghost etc etc. I honestly feel like I am dating kids half the time. Sulking, tantrums, the silent treatment... it's tiresome.

Am I being unreasonable/unrealistic to would love a man who

1. Says what he means.
2. Doesn't lie.
3. Doesn't string me along for years and years.
4. Doesn't cheat.
5. When he says he loves me, actually means it.
6. Supportive, understanding, caring, thoughtful.
7. Doesn't dump, ghost, go silent when things get rocky...
8. Doesn't have a porn addiction (occasional use fine, addiction, not so much.)
9. Includes me in their life.

10. Wants to spend time with me... 11. Isn't abusive/narcissistic/gaslights and blames me for everything and more.

All these things are things I would/wouldn't do...there's nothing there that I feel is OTT or asking too much?

You are not asking for too much, I met my husband at 31, married at 38, my ds was a teenager by then. I'm so glad I waited, he is all of what you listed BUT he's also untidy, forgetful, a little obsessed with his hobby, has issues with his mother (she a definite narc, he's the golden child with feelings of guilt as a result), he drives me nuts but he absolutely loves me and tells me daily.
I've changed a lot since we met, don't look at all like I used to yet he will suddenly just tell me I'm pretty and he fancies me lots!! There are plenty of men like him out there, I'm friends with a few single/widowed guys in their 50's and they are all good guys, keep your standards up, don't accept any less than you deserve.