To be unsure if these things were mocking me? (Work situation)

[Ridiculeisnothingtobescaredof]

Working in a setting via an agency. There's a group of 4 women in their 20s/30s that I've probably worked with about 6 or 7 times now.

I am a quiet and shy person, I'm trying to be friendly, ask some questions and I'm always polite, try to be helpful etc. However it's clear that I am much quieter than them.

They are some very extroverted people, and i admit I feel intimidated at times, even if some have been friendly. It can take me a while to be at ease.

Today they were saying that they needed to 'think of a new rumour to spread around the workplace' ( guess they were being a bit facetious, as this sounds like something you'd say in high school).

One of them turned to me then loudly said, "What rumour should we come up with, X? You look exactly like someone who knows a lot of rumours and gossip."

I have no idea why she said it, i just laughed. It certainly wasn't meant as a compliment and I don't know if it was an attempt at sarcasm, and a dig at me being quiet.

Another very extroverted person was leaving the shift and went round hugging the woman goodbye. I assumed she wouldn't hug me as we barely know each other and it's quite a strange thing to just go and hug a stranger without asking.

A minute later I felt a pair of arms around me. She had given me a 'surprise' hug from behind which the others found amusing and laughed at. I found it really uncomfortable and it made me jump.
I don't think she should have done it.

What do people think of these examples, am i overreacting a bit? I know they're not exactly the end of the world

I doubt it. Extraverts don't analyse situations in this way intrpverts do. If they want to say something unkind, you'd know it. I expect they meant you're quiet, you must be good at keeping secrets and not spilling the beans etc. The hug is just an extrovert doing something annoying (unaware) because they don't think before they act - no filters!

The comment I would take as a sort of “still waters run deep” thing.

The hug I would take as trying to include you.

I don’t think either is necessarily badly intended.

Yes maybe, it just seemed like a very strange thing to say. I'm sure the hug thing was just thoughtless too.

Or maybe she thought it would look rude if she didn't hug me

I’m an introvert, by the way.

The word 'mean' leaps to mind over the first one. I understand the whole workplace banter culture - plenty of it where I work - but you have to know your audience really well, and even then there are lines you don't cross.

I hate being hugged - I wonder, though, if the woman didn't want to leave you out - she might have thought it would be unkind to hug everyone else except you.

I agree with you that neither is the end of the world. I think you handled the first one really well by laughing it off - I would ultimately hope it was just a thoughtless comment, so try not to over-think it.

No-one is mocking you. It sounds as if they are trying to include you. Try to relax and not see everything as a challenge. Most people are nice.

Y ABU and overthrowing things. They are trying to include you.

Yes another here for they are trying to include you. Try not to over analyse. Hopefully you will feel more relaxed once you get to know your colleagues a bit better

Very much depends on personalities of people involved but to me (an extrovert) it v much sounds mean.
I am touchy felt but I'd never hug from behind someone I didn't usually hug. Hugs should be mutual and consenting.

I think they were trying to include you tbh

I agree with the PPs.
It sounds like they were trying to include you, especially with the comment.

As a PP introverts and extroverts think differently so how you feel they come across doesn’t fit with how they feel they come across.

Obviously if other things have happened then you may well be right but it doesn’t sound like they were trying to be nasty.

I would say they might be trying to include you, in the ways they know how. It might not be the best way i.e instigating gossip but I think on the face of it they were trying to be friendly to you.

They sound like children.
I wouldn't want anyone hugging me, especially at the moment.
Starting rumours, are they 12??!

I don't think they were mocking you, sounds more like they were including you and letting you know you are part of the team.
We get agency workers and when we get to know them I've noticed our regular staff try to include them and let them know we think of them as one of us.

@Twillow

I doubt it. Extraverts don't analyse situations in this way intrpverts do. If they want to say something unkind, you'd know it. I expect they meant you're quiet, you must be good at keeping secrets and not spilling the beans etc. The hug is just an extrovert doing something annoying (unaware) because they don't think before they act - no filters!

What?

Extroverts draw energy from being around other people.

Introverts are drained by being around people too long. They need time alone to recharge.

It's got nothing to do with being quiet or shy or analysing situations which is all about confidence. I'm a confident introvert. I don't over analyse people or situations.