..to judge / be worried about aggressive parenting?

[Brodi]

Should I be worried or just mind my own business?

I know this family who are (imo) just vile to their kids. I've only ever heard them shout and swear at their kids (all under 5), never speak to them calmly or nicely, and always slag the kids off in front of them, ie telling me what a "effing nightmare" one of them is while the kid is right there. The youngest is a toddler and I don't actually know her name because they only ever call her fatty* (not exactly this but a similar nickname, don't want to out anyone). One of the kids was badly injured a while back, I have no reason to suspect anything other than a household accident but it all adds to the picture doesn't it. Didn't really surprise me because when the parents aren't yelling they're on their phones ignoring the kids completely.

God I sound so judgy.

I don't know, I just have this prickly sense that the behaviour I see in public could just be the tip of the iceberg compared to what goes on behind closed doors, you know?

That said we're in a very posh area where it's all gentle parenting and baby yoga so they stick out like a sore thumb round here which has probably warped my judgment slightly.

Am I overthinking it or would you be worried about those kids?

I'd be worried that some of the behaviour I could see was potentially damaging (being sworn at for self esteem etc), but I wouldn't automatically assume that it suggests there would be significantly worse behaviour at home - I'd expect to find further parenting style clashes with the yoga mums, but not automatically go to physical neglect or abuse etc?

Ah you're in a posh area so that makes the difference! In my area it would just be ignored. Honestly, you have problems if you cannot recognise this is wrong!

How do you know them? They sound awful. Judge away. They’re abusing their incredibly young children. No one should be spoken to like that, we tell women on here to LTB for less and these babies have nowhere to go.

@Sometimeswinning

Ah you're in a posh area so that makes the difference! In my area it would just be ignored. Honestly, you have problems if you cannot recognise this is wrong!

You're right, I realised as soon I posted that was a really poor way of explaining what I mean. I guess I just know I have a fairly sheltered view of the world, if that makes sense? I didn't mean to imply class is relevant in the way it came across and I apologise.

@Sometimeswinning

Ah you're in a posh area so that makes the difference! In my area it would just be ignored. Honestly, you have problems if you cannot recognise this is wrong!

What rot, of course they are going to stand out more if they're surrounded by attachment parents swapping quinoa recipes and angsting about whether "no" is a damaging word

There was nothing wrong with what you posted OP. It was clear what you meant about the culture clash. I would feel sorry for the kids, and I wouldn't want much to do with the parents, but I don't think there's a great deal you can do about it. It's awful behaviour but it wouldn't meet the threshold for official intervention.

What rot, of course they are going to stand out more if they're surrounded by attachment parents swapping quinoa recipes and angsting about whether "no" is a damaging word

Read it properly! The op's opinion is that the behaviours would happen and be accepted in a less than "posh" area. I find that to be at worst offensive and at best ignorant.

The op has since taken it back and actually made me realise I was too quick to jump in at them.

It may not be ideal parenting but you have nothing to support any abuse. Not everyone wants to “ gently parent”

Honestly, there are different kinds of parenting techniques but you're not exactly "parenting" when you're verbally abusing your children.

I don't think this is about gentle parenting or not because there are abusive parents regardless of parenting styles.

Yes. This will be the tip of a disturbing iceberg.

That sounds awful. The poor children..it makes me sad to think what miserable lives some children must have

If you have concerns report to social services.
Either they’ll check the children and think it’s fine or they’ll investigate and potentially save some children years of abuse.