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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that other people have way more living space than me?

27 replies

Nameandgamechange123 · 04/02/2022 19:09

I have just read a thread about where people dry their hair. I blow dry my hair sitting on the floor amongst the shoes, bags and clutter that accumulates in the entrance hall. I sleep on the floor in the front room. My clothes are stored in my drawers in my sons' room and the wardrobe in my daughter's room. I have to dress either on the stairs, or by the front door. I do my makeup wherever I can find space..... This changes daily. Does anyone else have really tricky living arrangements?

OP posts:

freecuthbert · 04/02/2022 19:22

Of course it isn't the norm and most adults do have a bedroom so I'm not sure why you're asking if you're unreasonable to think others have a lot more space. But I have known people with similar arrangements because of housing costs, one of my friends shares a one bedroom flat with her mum for instance so they have to be creative with how they use their space. I take it your son and daughter can't share a bedroom due to either age or bedrooms are too small. Is a sofa bed absolutely not an option, I just can't imagine it's good to be sleeping on the floor? Can't you get dressed in the bathroom or your daughter's room rather than on the stairs or by the front door?

paname · 04/02/2022 19:23

It's fairly unusual for an adult to not have a bed or a bedroom for that matter. Is there anyway to divide on of the kids rooms so they can share that space and you get a bedroom back?

RussianSpy101 · 04/02/2022 19:25

Why don’t you have a bedroom? Most adults have a bedroom, yes.

DamnShesaSexyChick · 04/02/2022 19:28

YANBU to think that. This is not normal at all.

22Giraffes · 04/02/2022 19:28

Yanbu op, I sleep in the corner of my in laws front room, behind half a curtain

RussianSpy101 · 04/02/2022 19:29

@22Giraffes what? Where does your DH sleep?

Saz12 · 04/02/2022 19:29

Unusual not to have a bedroom as an adult, but not uniquely unusual - housing so expensive compared to salaries.

I’m not a make-up person, but would dry hair in kitchen or wherever. I don’t understand why you’d not put makeup on in bathroom? But I’m not pretty so I’m not the one to ask!

Butchyrestingface · 04/02/2022 19:29

If you have no bedroom, then obviously most people have more living space than you, because most people have a bedroom. Hope the situation improves for you - it sounds pretty stressful.

Howshouldibehave · 04/02/2022 19:31

I don’t know anyone without a bedroom, even if it’s shared, so I would say your living situation is extremely unusual. How many people live in your home?

22Giraffes · 04/02/2022 19:31

@RussianSpy101 sorry I should have been clear, dh sleeps with me our bed is in the corner of the living room behind a single curtain.

UoMomster · 04/02/2022 19:32

YANBU most people do have more space.
Sorry to hear that OP sounds stressful.
What’s the living situation? Can you carve out a corner of the house to be ‘yours’? Sofa bed, slim but high wardrobe etx?

RussianSpy101 · 04/02/2022 19:33

@22Giraffes that can’t be comfortable for you. Is there any chance of the situation improving?

OnaBegonia · 04/02/2022 19:35

Can you not get dressed in bathroom or living room? on the stairs seems a bit silly.

FrownedUpon · 04/02/2022 19:37

Well yes, a lot of people have their own bedroom. Surely that isn’t a surprise to you though?

22Giraffes · 04/02/2022 19:39

@RussianSpy101 I couldn't work out how to name change so couldn't give too many details but suffice to say my mental health is at rock bottom. I am doing everything i can think of to remedy the situation but there are many factors that I can't change. There is no hope on the horizon so far as I can see.

Sorry op if I've derailed the thread but wanted you to know I understand the feeling of chaotic living arrangements!

Original poster

Nameandgamechange123 · 04/02/2022 19:47

Ah so many responses. Okay so I'm not going mad. This is not normal!! Yes it's very stressful! I've thought of all sorts of possibilities - splitting rooms up etc but we really have made use of ALL the available space eg x2 boys share a room and teen girl has other room.
@22Giraffes - really feel for you!
@UoMomster - a sofa bed is the next step although sometimes family want to watch TV and I can't shoe them off the sofa so I can transform it into a bed.
@Saz12 - after having a shower in the morning, the bathroom becomes so steamy (even with the window wide open) my make up then melts off my face as I'm applying it!
@freecuthbert - can't change in kids rooms as I get up early for work and they are still fast asleep!
It's a total nightmare. Thanks for responses everyone!

OP posts:

Original poster

Nameandgamechange123 · 04/02/2022 19:56

@22Giraffes - I honestly feel really stuck even though my situation sounds easier than yours. It can really got you down when you don't have any space to call your own. I really hope that you eventually find some sort of solution

OP posts:

MistyGreenAndBlue · 04/02/2022 19:57

a sofa bed is the next step although sometimes family want to watch TV and I can't shoe them off the sofa so I can transform it into a bed.

Oh ho yes you can! I would. And I wouldn't even feel a tiny bit bad about it either.

AlwaysOutside · 04/02/2022 19:57

Not as bad as you but DP and I share a room with our youngest. We live in a small 2 bed and the 18 yo has the other room. It's not appropriate for them to share and even if it was the room is too small. I hate evenings as there is literally no where quiet to go and read a book. DP plays Xbox in the front room and I can't read in bed as it will disturb DC. Our neighbour on one side had his TV so loud I can hear every word. The front room is covered in toys as nowhere else to keep them and I literally have no space to keep my personal stuff.

I also get up early for work and finding clothes is a nightmare without disturbing everyone

paname · 04/02/2022 20:00

Put a TV in one of the kids rooms and claim the sofa. Surely the council consider you overcrowded and get on the list for a bigger house?

OakPine · 04/02/2022 20:03

It's not "normal" but is entirely reasonable given ridiculous housing costs in this country.
A couple of things I thought might help you. Apologies if you have thought of these already!
Do you have a kitchen table and chairs in your kitchen, or a breakfast bar area. If so, would it be possible to put a TV next to them, so that if people want to watch TV then they can do it in the kitchen so that you can get peace to sleep.
I realise that there might not be space in the living room, but could you put a little chest of drawers at the side of the sofa for some of your clothes and makeup. A small one would not look out of place in the living room, and at least you could keep your makeup, hairdryer, and a little folding mirror in there for makeup.
Best wishes. I usually end up living in spaces far too small for me as well, because of costs. xx

freecuthbert · 04/02/2022 20:05

@paname

Put a TV in one of the kids rooms and claim the sofa. Surely the council consider you overcrowded and get on the list for a bigger house?

You do realise you can be waiting for years for a bigger house from the council if you're overcrowded? People I know in similar situations to OP are having to make do with their current living situation, can't afford a bigger house because housing and living costs are so much as it is, and they are already on the waiting list with no luck so far. The list is just that, a list. No guarantee and not much help to most families in need.

Boood · 04/02/2022 20:05

My neighbours have two adults and four children of both sexes in a small two bedroom flat. I presume the adults must sleep in the living room. I’ve no idea how they coped through lockdown, it must have been horrendous.

Original poster

Nameandgamechange123 · 04/02/2022 20:08

@AlwaysOutside totally feel your pain. I have nowhere to keep my things and nowhere to go and escape to. In the summer it's a lot easier as you can go outside....... I take it by your username that you do the same!
@paname one thing that I should be very grateful for is the fact that we own our flat. We would love to move somewhere bigger but just can't afford it.

OP posts:

5128gap · 04/02/2022 20:12

I lived in camper van for a while. Tbh in some ways it was easier as I had everything I needed in reach. Its not so much space that's the problem as too many people sharing it, and nowhere permanent to call your own. If you could even just set up a little area for your private use, a desk/dressing table in a corner of the living room with shelves and storage baskets just for you, it might make a difference. The IKEA small living ideas can be useful.

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