XH thinks CMS provides for his household

[MahMahMahMahCorona]

I'm reaching the end of my tether.

XH just collected DC11 and DC10 for weekend court ordered contact.

DC11 ran back inside for a spare pair of pants. XH has absolutely nothing at his house in terms of clothes, the DC are bored of having to transport suitcases between their homes, and instead just take a book or phone charger in a back pack.

When I've raised this with XH, he has told me that CMS provides for me to ensure the DC have what they need at both houses. I know this isn't true.

Can someone - please - help me tell their father that in order for the DC to move between the houses seamlessly and without having to pack bags every fortnight, XH needs to provide them with clothes? At least some spare pants and socks so DC11 isn't running out into the street with his kecks in his hand??

AIBU to think CMS does not provide for this? Their home clothes generally come back trashed anyway - lately he put their trainers in the washing machine and they shrank. Yes I know you can machine wash trainers but with a history of torn trousers, trashed coats and lost crocs, this is just one example of the type of things XH does to the clothes / shoes I provide.

My sister does this. He overpays CMS basically so he doesn't have to spend a second of his time thinking about his dc. He picks them up EOW and Disney dad's and think it's enough. Kids see through it and it works for my sister because if he wasn't paying extra he still wouldn't do anything

Your on losing battle. I'd make up a pack of couple tracksuit bottoms, jumpers, t shirts, trainers - I like decathalon. So kids can leave them at their dads.

Thanks again everyone. I think what it boils down to is that he's a shit alternate weekend "father", who only has the kids because he's box ticking. He doesn't let them leave stuff at his house - they have beds there, and that's it. Even the phone chargers I bought for them to keep there come home every alternate weekend.

Perhaps I should send them with a chest of drawers filled with clothes next time?!

I hear what those of you who say packing a bag every fortnight shouldn't be too hard - this has been going on for five years now. Initially, I provided an entire wardrobe for each child to have at his house. I would update with the seasons. However, in May 2019 when I handed him the two full to bursting with summer clothes bags, he assaulted me in front of the children (police were called), and I got a shitty letter from his solicitor about handing him things on the street 🤷🏼‍♀️

I will endeavour to put together some clothes for them to take and leave there. I will also put pen to paper and suggest he pays the full CMS amount in order for me to provide further clothes. I remember the mediator had to spell out to him that he needed to provide toothbrushes and toothpaste for them at his house. And from a recent photo DC took, I don't think these have been changed since (they were 7 and 5 when they first went)....

My ExH provides everything except shoes, medication, a pillow and her duvet (she chooses to take these between homes) at his.

And he only has DD EOW. Obviously occasionally DD wants to take specific clothes to his and does so but usually it's provided.

What he SHOULD do and what he DOES are two different things sadly.

My kids have clothes at their Dads. I did offer weekend bags but he didn’t need them. I do find it frustrating though when he doesn’t send all of their clothes back with them. I end up spending a lot of money replacing things that constantly go missing 🤦🏽‍♀️

Given his past behaviour sounds like he doesn’t want stuff there. I wonder why? He doesn’t let their rooms out when not there? I’d probably just supply underwear to stay there to make life easier for the kids and send them with a couple of outfits each time. He should be providing for them though yes, but I’d put their needs first