AIBU social anxiety?

[thewomanacrossthestreet]

So I have very bad social anxiety.

I'm trying my best to try new things.
A mum at my DCs school asked about a play date but didn't suggest where so I said soft play as I feel slightly uncomfortable inviting them to mine first time when we've only spoken once but say after the first time I would feel more comfortable about inviting them. (My house isn't terrible but I still worry as it's not a home you'd see in one of those fancy magazines 😂)
Is it werid to suggest soft play? She's not replied since I suggested it. please help my brain not freak out

Not weird at all but I also have social anxiety and would be flipping out over the lack of response 😂

No that's fine. I have longstanding social anxiety and I hate having people i don't know well in my house where I'm "the host".

I also feel less pressure when there's background noise and other things going on around me.

I have social anxiety so I can totally relate to the overthinking! No, it's not weird at all that you suggested softplay I have all this to come (baby 2 weeks old today) 😄

Well done for trying new things, even though it's hard. There will be lots of reasons why the other mum may not have replied yet; doesn't like soft play, is forever going to soft play, got a parking ticket last time they went to soft play, finds it too loud/smelly/expensive, is just someone who doesn't reply to things quickly, she got kidnapped by aliens and hasn't had access to her phone yet! What stops you from replying to messages quickly? It is likely to be one of those things that is stopping her.

As you are going to worry about not having heard back, maybe sending a follow-up message to let her know you'd be happy with a different setting e.g. going to the park together after school. It may have been that she had intended the play date to happen at her home and hadn't realised that wasn't obvious so is now embarrassed! Most people don't have fancy homes that are the sort featured in magazines - mine certainly isn't. It's clean enough and reasonably tidy but we have all sorts of things that aren't right e.g. picture frames behind sofas that have been there for years, bare light bulbs, washing drying, a box of light bulbs and batteries that have piled up but need to be recycled... I would love it to be 'finished' and for those things to not be lying around but if it weren't those things, it would likely be something else because it's a home. I realise me being at peace with that and to feel comfortable inviting others here doesn't change your situation but this is one scenario where having older children is useful; their friends come over and comment openly about stuff they like about our house! It helps me to see it through someone else's eyes; 17-yr-olds seemingly don't notice the bare light bulbs or wires sticking out of the wall, they like a picture in the hall way, the door handles or the kitchen clock!

I wouldn't have suggested soft play. That involves spending money on entry and possibly coffees and some people wouldn't have spare money for that and would feel uncomfortable explaining their way out of it.

It's okay, she replied and was fine with it. I was worried about the money thing but it's very cheap where I am and the day I suggested is free entry. Once I know her a bit better I'll happily invite to mine.

I think that was a perfect suggestion.
Not expensive,and it is cold outside.
People watching and other noise will help awkward feelings.
I hope you have a good time.

Fine but I Hate soft play.
It's expensive the coffees gross and you can't really chat because kids are climbing on things

But yes glad
She has replied and well
Done for reaching out
I know it's hard
I bet your house is lovely btw

Sometimes it helps to think "how would a confident person feel in my situation?"

I used to be convinced eg people were talking about me, it was horrible, so I do sympathise, but it is possible to become more confident, so don't lose hope