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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU moving primary school

27 replies

Slimemonster · 04/02/2022 04:23

AIBU to move my y2 son from one primary to another mainly for logistical reasons (it's closer to my work and to husbands work)
Will save fuel, money, time, shorter school day as he won't be in afterschool club.

His current school has been great the last 5 months, consistent teacher and consistent learning.

Previously he never had a full year in reception or y1 due to lockdowns and no consistency with staff.
3 or 4 different class teachers in R and same again in y1. 4 headteachers in the 3 years too all due to a bad ofsted etc.

School now in much better place.

So do I move him solely for logistical reasons or not?
Can't make a decision!!

OP posts:

NumberTheory · 04/02/2022 04:40

Moving schools is, generally speaking, pretty detrimental for kids. I would think especially so at the moment because schooling has been so disrupted for the last few years.

But you have to balance that with the stress on your family of continuing with a long commute and the value of having school friends closer to home as he gets older.

Why is he in a school that’s inconvenient? Did you have to move after he started? If so, is it at all likely that you will need to move again in a few years? If so, bearing with the current set up becomes more important.

We moved our kids at the end of year 2. It took them 3 or 4 years to get over it. There were a lot of benefits to moving, but I was surprised at how long the negative impact lasted.

Ultimately, strangers on the Internet can’t weight these issues for you. You need to decide which sacrifices will, over all, have the best outcomes for you all. I would say, if you are going to do it, do it over this summer. The older he is, the worse it will be.

LadyPenelope68 · 04/02/2022 04:44

You seem to be factoring a lot into this decision to make YOUR life easier, but forgetting the most important thing ………. your son!! Don’t move his school just to make your life easier, it will have a huge impact on him. If he’s happy and settled in school, why in earth would you disrupt their happiness?

Mumofsend · 04/02/2022 04:47

I wouldn't do it to my child just on the basis of making my own life easier. Y2/3 kids really need to have a normal school year for once. Y2 have never had a full year

Waxonwaxoff0 · 04/02/2022 06:39

Absolutely not. Unfair to move him just for your own convenience. He won't be there forever.

garlictwist · 04/02/2022 06:41

I disagree that moving schools is detrimental to kids. I moved in year 4 to a new primary and it was fine - my other half went to three primary schools. He will be fine.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 04/02/2022 06:42

What could the other school give him?
Would he have time to do extra curricular stuff if not at ASC for example?
Or does new school have better facilities?

Findahouse21 · 04/02/2022 06:43

Is yours an area with lots of separate infant schools? If so, mo ing him at the begining of year 3 might be better

FinallyFree2022 · 04/02/2022 06:47

The longer term view here is important too.

If you move him what will that do to any feeds to secondary school? If closer to your work does that mean he won't have local friends. Would he be able to walk to the secondary school he'd get into if you moved him.

It might seem ages away but this is key.

YeOldePotato · 04/02/2022 06:48

I would do it sooner rather than later tbh. Year 5 and 6 friendships become so important.

YeOldePotato · 04/02/2022 06:49

@FinallyFree2022

The longer term view here is important too.

It might seem ages away but this is key.

This is a very Good point. Think long term.

Darbs76 · 04/02/2022 06:50

Agree with considering factors such as feeder school for a secondary? Friends in the area. It’s good he won’t need to attend an after school club but what if something happened and you changed jobs. I’d keep him in the school near home personally

phlebasconsidered · 04/02/2022 06:51

Speaking as a primary teacher, it won't make the blindest bit of difference at that age to the child. New kids arrive and leave all the time and new friendships are made very quickly.

Just be sure it's a well managed school. Frankly, we can't fill positions at all right now and many staff are leaving the profession so if his current school has settled staff that is worth a lot.

ToWhere · 04/02/2022 06:52

How far is it from home? Will it be easy to see new friends outside school?
How secure are your jobs and their location?

phlebasconsidered · 04/02/2022 06:55

Also, you would still spply for your local secondary. It's actually an advantage to start a secondary with no friendship groups or cliques imo. You get a fresh start, can choose your friends and have none of the usual friendship issues that occur in year 7 when new alliances are made.

Alittlenonsensenowandthen · 04/02/2022 06:58

He's yr2. Ignore other posters. He will he fine if you move. We moved schools later for work. They were older and it was hard. I don't think your logistical reasons are bad. A shorter day at school is a good thing for him. As others said though, check secondary options first.

MadeForThis · 04/02/2022 07:07

My daughter is in y1 and there has been 3 new children join their class so far this year. They have all settled in well and made friends.

Jobconfused · 04/02/2022 07:12

YANBU we moved our kids into a new school for logistical reasons which meant us spending more time with them. They’re absolutely fine

SuPerDoPer · 04/02/2022 07:14

My son is the same age and he's moving at the end of this year. We moved house recently and the commute has gone from a 15 min walk to a 20 min drive so it will benefit him to live closer to his school. Plus it will give him a chance to make friends before moving to the local secondary. However despite all this I feel a bit bad for taking him out of an excellent school that he enjoys. I definitely wouldn't do it if I didn't think this was the better option for him, long term.

Stevenage689 · 04/02/2022 07:28

Depends. Is it closer to home?

Changing schools is usually fine and can be beneficial (makes changing at start of year 7 less scary).

I wouldn't suggest changing him mid-year if this is the first time he's had a good year and a good teacher. You'd kick yourself if he moved and the year 2 teacher at the new place isn't good. Changing for year 3 - well, you wouldn't know if it was worse or not.

Also a lot of other factors within your son matter - does he mind after school club? Is he sociable? Does he have strong friendships at his current school?

Original poster

Slimemonster · 04/02/2022 07:28

Wow, thankyou so much, such a divide in opinions.
The secondary school won't be a problem at all, it's walking distance from our house.
The current school is in a village one direction and the new school in a village the opposite direction (we both work on same street as the new school, I don't see either of us leaving/redundancy or anything)
Lots of great opinions too, I'm taking them on board and going through all the pros and cons

OP posts:

Marvellousmadness · 04/02/2022 07:33

Move him for all the reasons mentioned
Yes yes. Big shock
But if you do it now its fine . He'll get over it.

Marvellousmadness · 04/02/2022 07:34

Some people move countries.

icklekid · 04/02/2022 07:43

I’ve often been tempted to move kids to school I work at, far more convenient however the secondary schools here are very over subscribed and not only do you need to be in catchment but also at a feeder primary. So need them to stay where they are!

RedskyThisNight · 04/02/2022 07:55

It might be logistically easy to get him to school but what about pursuing friendships? He might be too young now to go out on his own, but in a couple of years having friends close by will be a huge benefit.

Is he settled and happy now at his current school? I always think it's a mistake to move such a child unless there is very good reason. He might be perfectly fine, but he might not be ... and then what would you do? Move him again? A similar thing happened to me as a child and it did have impacts on me.

Also, unless you live in an area with surplus of school places, I'd wonder why a school had a place available randomly in the middle of Year 2 (where infant class size restrictions still apply).

MissVictoriaPlum · 04/02/2022 08:00

I would absolutely move him. I moved mine (across the world) in time to start year 2 and year 4. They've both been absolutely fine, made friends and got on with it. I wouldn't do it again, but I think under 9/10 they're largely fine. This term a few children have moved away and a few have come in. No dramas.

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