To expect DH to do SOME housework?!

[mad4mybaby]

My kitchen was a pigsty. Had family over last night and dh kindly cooked. He had every single utensil/pots/pans that we own out and the worktops were just vile. I was so tired last night (being up with ds teething) that the dishwasher was put on and i thought id deal with the rest today. DH has been on his backside all avo, me? The usual washing, ironing, baking etc.

Im still cleaning the kitchen when ir past ds bathtime so i asked him to bath him and he like 'no i bathed him last night' im like yes i know but this is going to take me ages..

cut a long long story short, i end up bathing ds and then carrying on cleaning while dh watches tv!!! He cooks once a week at most and refuses to clean kitchen after as he has cooked! Well i cook every night aAND clean the kitchen AND bath ds!!

Why do they think that they do everyhing when actually no they dont we do?! Also dont get me started on him having man flu and moping around on sofa when i had ear infection i had to get on with it!!

phew theres my rant for the week...

Lesson for the next month; only cook for you and your DS!!

He will soon learn

YANBU by the way

ive tried that! Just causes huge arguments! I had a stressful management job before ds and dont work now and because dh works long hours/abroad alot its like when he comes home he wants to do nothing which is fair enough as i was like that before ds but with a toddler that isnt the life you can have anymore. He just will not accept that!

Does he give you enough money to pay for cleaner / sending out ironing / someone to mind ds whilst you clean?

Oh and remind him that ds is his ds all day every day and not just when he fancies it or there is nothing worth watching on the box.

we have 3 dc and dh does bugger all. He always has a lie-in too at weekends, doesnt seem to notice I've been up for hours with dcs. grrrr

Don't put up with it! Why should you be his slave?

I raise this subjsct time and time again but dh, despite being a highly intelligent man, fails to grasp the point.

can't imagine living with men like these, I'd have to kill them

Me too snow, I really couldn't put up with it.

Lol snow, it crosses my mind!!

I continually surprise myself because I do put up with it.

YANBU - MY DH is same. I spen a day last week writing down every single job I did over a day because DH kept insisting that it was all 'my' mess. One of the jobs related to 'my' mess and the others should have all been joint responsibilities. think it took seeing it in black and white for DH to concede that he was being unreasonable. I know that he'll need plenty of reminders too as I think the habit is ingrained in some men!

RULE ONE ( sacred ancient rule)
THOU WHOEST HATH COOKED SHALL NOT HAVE TO WASHETH THE POTS
amen

install this rule

then if he only cooks once a week he does the pots the other 6 days

nd call him a lazy cunt

Custy's right. Works in our house.

went to work yesterday, leaving dh in charge of dc.s. he couldnt do shopping as well though!, i had to do it in my lunch hour, ok, yes, i did prefer to do it myself tbh.

the kitchen was a pigsty when i came home . his excuse "he didnt notice".
unbelievable.

I think this sort of thing is the factory setting for men. I now give my kids DH a choice when there are jobs to be done- eg wash the kids or wash the pots - he normally says i wanna do neither, i look him in the eye and say firmly thats not an option, he usually picks the easiest job, I get to sit down before midnight.

ooh no! in our house who cooks washes up too. that is because in our house, one of us tidies up as we go along so by the time the meal is ready there is very little clearing up to be done, whereas the other uses every single pot, pan, utensil, makes tons of mess on the worktops etc. so afaiac if a person makes a stupidly unreasonable amount of mess cooking then tough they clean it up not leave it for some other mug.

sorry no YANBU. i couldn't be with someone like this.

RULE ONE ( sacred ancient rule)
THOU WHOEST HATH COOKED SHALL NOT HAVE TO WASHETH THE POTS

Amen !!

Also 'Thou who hath done bath doth not read story'

Its all abut sharing the workload.

Yanbu atall !

reading this makes me realise just how little my OH does .
Ok so he work 12hr shifts 6am-6pm and i'm a SAHM but when he comes home is tea is ready, i do washing up and putting away, he does occasionaly put ds to bed as i have asked him to,at which point i do his breakfast and lunch for the next day for work.
Can't remember last time he did housework am sure he does.
And why don't i complain more because it just causes more arguments and sulking(him)and i can't be a*d so my own fault really i suppose

I agree with elliephant.

When DP is at work I do all the housework/childcare. When he is at home I expect him to at least do some of it.

I do not expect him to do loads that I could have easily done whilst he is at work but haven't because I have sat on my lazy ass MNing all day.

But I do expect him to do equal in the 'bedtime hour'. I.e after dinner I will say 'Are you doing the kitchen tonight or the kids?' he gets a choice, but he has to do one.

No YANBU. No matter whether you both work or one of you stays at home you both have full-time jobs so you both have to take responsibility for the chores. However, I´m extremely fortunate as my DH does most of the cleaning and we share the other chores. He always does bathtime, I always read the story; he always washes bottles & puts them in the steriliser, I always make bottles up. Make him help or kick his arse

So your dh wants to come home from work and do nothing, not even some parenting? ok tell him he can leave and get a flat on his own, then he can come home and really do nothing and also have nothing to come home to.

They are not all the same, believe me
There are plenty of men that help out at home after a days work.
I don't understand why anyone would put up with it- it really is beyond me.

On the days that I am at home with DD I do washing/shopping/housework. In the evening one of us does the bath and bedtime and the other cooks. Usually DH does bedtime and I do cooking because he hasn't had any time with DD all day and I find cooking relaxing. He washes up.

Taking things in turns (I did it yesterday so it's your turn today) is only fair if it takes account of what every else is going on. If he's had a particularly long/crap day/week then I might do his jobs too while he watches football or something BUT only because he will do the same for me if I've had a crap time and really need a break.

I find if someone is sitting around while someone else runs themsleves ragged it can help just to ask them if they think it is fair and if so why? Whatever you do, don't just get on with things while seething with resentment. Doesn't help anyone.

him "whats for dinner tonight?"
you "nothing"
him "why?"
you "there are no clean pans to cook it in. If you aren't expected to wash up after you cook why should i?"