Leaving nursing

[HarreePotter]

I feel so sad this is my decision now. I worked all the pandemic on front line wards. I can't give the care I want to give. I spend my entire day chasing my tail and I'm knackered. I feel awful for the parents who can't leave the rooms, they can't swap over either because of the Covid rules. I work on a Childrens cancer ward and the Covid rules are so strict which is understandable but also horrible. My ward have no boundaries either; constantly texting and ringing on your days off asking if you did xyz for patient A, but if they just looked on the system it's all there. Because we've recently switched to paperless some staff members can't work it properly so I regularly get 2/3 phone calls on my days off.

I'm just done. I'm fit for absolutely nothing after 3 long days, tbh after 2 long days I'm a mess. I just can't give the care I want. I had to attend resilience training last week because the ward is so short staffed it was meant to help us cope with the lack of staff but it just affirmed to me im done.

I tried to book my annual leave last week too as I've not managed to take much but because of the ward needs I can't take it now and we can only take 1 week into the next year with us so I'm losing 2 weeks annual leave

That’s dreadful mismanagement by the sounds of things.
I would consider an appeal in A/L through Hr +/- union although you’ll need to have a bit of ebergy for it.
Would you consider a move to a nurse specialist position? Whereabouts are you based? There’s quite a few threads about at the moment on leaving nursing & what people would go on to do.

There are so many choices in nursing. Take some time to look into all the different nursing roles you could transfer into. You have a valuable qualification, don't waste it.

YANBU

I can't say what's right for you in your particular circumstances in terms of either looking for a job in another area of nursing or leaving the profession altogether. I think only you'll know that and maybe not right away as you're obviously completely burnt out at this point.

I can only say that I left nursing 8 years ago after 3 years training and 6 years working and it was the right decision for me at the time.

Have I ever regretted it? Of course! Because I did the training for a reason and at times, loved my job so it's only natural now and again to have pangs about that. I started a return to nursing course 2 years after leaving but the minute I stepped back on a ward I knew I'd made a mistake and dropped out immediately.

The reality of the work is that I never felt I could do enough and I could never switch off which was terrible for my physical and mental health.

I hope you can figure out a solution that feels right for you, I know how bloody difficult it is.

Don't lose the leave, if you are really quick you might be able to sell it back to the Trust. Deadline usually end of Jan - should be in annual leave or flexible working policy.

It sounds like a new job rather than leaving nursing would be better?

Nursing has been really shit through this pandemic💐 I don’t think you will be alone. I’ve ugly of leaving many times. It gets harder to leave as you progress and your salary increases so I’ve never managed to get out. Couldn’t afford to take what would be a massive pay cut.

Do you have any thought on what you do? Have you explored alternatives in nursing that might be less stressful?

It’s a lot of training and skill to walk away from and a reasonable salary. Could you look in to community roles, nurse education?

Tbh, your ward sounds crap. I wouldn’t be happy with anyone pestering me on my days off, they need to sort that out. Not all wards or teams are like that.

Speak to HR about your annual leave because if you have made efforts to book in good time and it hasn’t been possible, it isn’t fair that you lose it.

Speak to HR about the leave. How ridiculous that you have to take it but they won't let you take it.

As an older nurse I would just please say try to keep your registration. Move departments, move into research, education, specialism anything but don't give up your registration. I'm in education now but so glad I didn't throw that away when I was at the end of my tether years ago.

@DontKeepTheFaith it is shit. I tend to block them all on my days off now as it's just too much. As soon as I see a text from someone I just get this feeling of dread. Im going to try and sort the leave because I need a break and I can't go on with this!

I am a band 6 on an adult ward and I am seeing this in lots of my colleagues. Some have taken extended sick leave, counseling etc but I feel powerless to help. I am fed up and exhausted I turn all work notifications off now, firstly, so I don't feel pressure to go in and secondly so I didn't know I was going in to a short shift the next day. As a manager I would email HR on your behalf and explain about your AL as we do have the ability to add it on, my trust allows more carry over with proof, the trouble is the trust hate it, as we then have to fit more leave in. What can you do we need regular breaks from work, we are seeing the fall out from this pandemic and I don't think nursing will recover.

I always have a pit of dread when I go into work as I know I cannot do everything expected off me. Staff with covid are being hounded back to work, I did try to say some staff are still unwell but they just want bodies on the wards. I wish you well in whatever you decide it's a heartbreaking decision. I am going to start looking at my options. The NHS is not a healthy place to work.

@Rupertpenrysmistress thank you. It does feel extremely toxic at the moment. Im certain my manager hates me because I can't go into positive patients rooms because of my immunosuppressant but she's just like ugh just deal with it, our 2 masks on if you need to but that's your patient even though my risk assessment says I'm not to. I managed to swap with another nurse but it's just little things like that. Really frustrating

Lots of transferable skills and experience, also maybe explore jobs outside the Nhs- insurance claim handler, 111 professional adviser etc.

[quote HarreePotter]@Rupertpenrysmistress thank you. It does feel extremely toxic at the moment. Im certain my manager hates me because I can't go into positive patients rooms because of my immunosuppressant but she's just like ugh just deal with it, our 2 masks on if you need to but that's your patient even though my risk assessment says I'm not to. I managed to swap with another nurse but it's just little things like that. Really frustrating [/quote]
That’s disgraceful of your manager! It’s really sounds like the ward and culture are the issue, you should really try another area of nursing before leaving the profession altogether.

Obviously it’s your choice but it’s a lot to let go of if you can find somewhere you will enjoy and can use all your skills in a more sustainable and supportive setting.

I'm sorry you feel this way op,must beso demoralizing,itsalso making me worry how many posts I've seen here lately about people leaving nursing.My Dd wants to train as a childrens nurse.

My sympathies are with you and thank you for working through the pandemic.
I don't work in nursing but I can relate to long days,messages on days off and being constantly short staffed differing shift work is exhausting.
It sucks.

My daughter's boyfriend is leaving nursing. He's an ITU nurse with 7 years experience. Moved to work in Scotland and was told he couldn't use any of his skills up here as he hadn't "done the course" in this particular region of Scotland.

He's now moving into engineering and earning a fortune doing agency work as an ITU nurse and all the units ask him to keep coming back.

The 12/13 hour days are brutal. The cancellation of holidays is awful. I don't blame you.

Nurse specialism isn’t necessarily the answer. I am one and I’ve been pulled from my role to help on the wards since covid began. I’m throughly demoralised and have no motivation anymore. I can’t do the job I was employed to do (this is all due to lack of staff) but I still get endless emails and pressure from management and doctors to carry out my specialist role, except I’m not doing it because I’m on the wards! I just don’t know what to do anymore, it’s really affecting my mental health.

Everyone is tired and stressed or off due to covid.

I think leaving nursing is a very reasonable choice if you have other options.

But don't lose your a/l. Request in writing to have leave allocated. Speak to your union if they say no.

I'm a therapist in acute trust and have worked over many years. I've noticed that there is definitely a bullying culture with nurses on a lot of wards which has got worse as the pressures have increased. As people climb the ranks it seems to go to their heads and are only concerned with covering their own backs. Your manager is a disgrace sending you into covid patients when your risk assessment says otherwise but I completely understand why you haven't got the energy to fight her. I do not think it is lawful to just lose holidays that you are entitled too, many years ago when we were very short staffed due to longtime sick I was paid for over two weeks annual leave that I was unable to take. You should at least email HR to request this and otherwise, quite honestly, I would take some time off sick to consider your options. I am now semi retired and just do bank shifts, could this suit you as there is always work available but you can pick and choose what hours you do. Far less stressful with nobody to supervise, not expected to do appraisals or take students and to quote a favourite mumsnet saying........ You are able to 'make no a full sentence😉💐

I left and now work in disability assessment for similar reasons to you, certainly not what I imagined my career path would be but the work/life balance has helped my MH tenfold....and this was pre pandemic. I don't think I'd have gotten through it had I not left.

Currently also have a child awaiting 2nd BMT for relapsed ALL. I see the strain everyone is under, although always utmost professional. You guys have an incredibly tough and emotionally draining job but know you have truly made such a difference during some very dark days for these kids and their families stuck in their rooms. That said, you have to put yourself and your own MH before anything as management certainly won't.

Wishing you the best of luck with whatever you decide!

I can’t imagine many jobs more stressful than caring for children with cancer. Add in poor management and you might as well flog the staff until they drop.
Do what is right for you, you have transferable skills. Make sure you get all your leave or payment in lieu though.

RMN here and overstressed, I can't imagine how bad it must have been on the main wards. Lack of staff is a huge issue, there's never enough and the demands of healthcare just keep increasing. We are here to care for patients but our health and well being as nurses doesn't matter! I too get the constant guilt tripping to cover extra shifts and if you say no the team get sulky, they dont like using agency as it's not NHS so regular staff are expected to drop everything and cover the lots of sick leave. If you can't or don't want to you are ostracized. It's not much better outside of the NHS and I'm thinking of doing something else too. There was a thread yesterday where people were talking about WFH and watching TV and sorting out laundry whilst working and I'm thinking what the hell I am doing my job for? For pretty crap pay too.

And this is what organisations do. Get you to attend résilience training, implying the fault is yours, rather than a result of a situation and system where workloads are ridiculous.
Do what’s best for you. You sound seriously stressed and no wonder. No one should have to work like this, it’s no way to live.

Some of that is unacceptable. If they won't let you take the leave they have to allow it to be paid or rolled over - they can't have it all ways.

But other parts are if your own making:

Why do you answer calls from work when your off as you know it's going to be last staff with daft questions?

Why have you left two week animal leave until the last two months without booking it?

Agree with PPs. Speak to HR about your leave-bring your union in if you have to.

Definitely start looking at other roles outside of the wards...

@loumoo thank you I really hope the bmt is successful, please access all the support your hospital offers and any charities they suggest.

, I do like my job, before the pandemic and I was moved I would look after 3 patients, all on chemo or whatever and I'd be able to support the parents, and the child but now we're only allowed one parent and they can't leave the room, the play room is closed because of Covid as is the multi sensory area, and I have 8 patients who are all needing chemotherapy, feeds cares etc.

I think I just need a break. You're right I don't have to answer and I don't think I will