To now be completely illiterate (lighthearted)

[Puddingypops]

One of my sons teachers and one of his friends are now non binary.

The teacher is Mx and their prounouns are they/them and also one of his friends is they/them (but gender fluid).

I stumble and grope my way through sentences and am now completely illiterate because it takes planning to say THEY and THEM, for example

“Is they coming too?”

“Does they want a lift”?

My son (13) shakes his head and corrects me.. ARE they coming too mum ARE THEY….

Well I can’t think that far ahead and it’s a miracle if I hit on the correct pronoun at all, I don’t have the time to stop and say ARE THEY when for 44 years it’s always been is he/she unless one is referring to a group, I’m starting to understand when we excuse the elderly for being “set in their ways”.

WHY IS IT SO HARD, I thought I was a reasonably intelligent, literate, and articulate person, now I’m going around saying IS THEY COMING ALONG.

Aggghhhhhhhhhhh

If you've started on the 'is', then use the name rather than a pronoun, I suppose. Pronouns only exist to make communication easier, so as soon as they make it harder you might as well ditch them.

Quite right, I should then use the name but I catch myself start saying he or she and just change to they, by the time I’ve got as far as “is” I’m a lost cause and I become a blithering idiot.

I guess practice makes perfect and that’s a good thing to bear in mind.

I understand, doesn't come naturally. My kids do it automatically apart from animals. I do question wtf the point is seeing as the person being talked about isn't actually there some kind of bizarre brainwashing.

Where will it end?

Like anything else that feels unfamiliar, just keep practicing and it will get easier.

Maybe just relax a bit? They also been used as a singular pronoun for a long time when you didn't know if someone was a he or she. It sounds like you are trying hard to get it right, which is admirable, but maybe you are actually tripping yourself up.

When I had a friend he went from being a "she" to being a "they" and I was struggling, I started imagining they had a pocketful of imaginary bees who needed to be included in all invitations and descriptions - are they coming? Do they need picking up? - it helped me.

That sounds exhausting. Its not the same as remembering a new name, its your entire sentance structure that has to change.