DP and I never disagree about money but....

[DPpension]

We just disagreed about money.

We both live together and own a property in both names with 50/50 split on the deeds. I’ve tried to make this post as unbiased as poss so bear with!

We have always split household bills according to an equal 40% of take home pay.

So one of us takes home 3.2k per month and one of us 1.9k.

The 1.9k Person contributes £780 and the 3.2k person contributes £1300 which is circa 40% of our net take home pay each. The rest of the money is that persons to do what they see fit.

Both pensions are matched by employer at 10% but given their higher earnings the higher earner pension is higher overall.

We’ve disagreed tonight about whether the contribution should be based on net pay or gross pay.

Should it be split by gross or net?

It's not about being entitled to the other person's money. It's about being able to make decent savings towards a pension themselves - and that, due to low income and low proportionate opportunity to contribute to a work-based pension, that involves setting up a private pension, ISA or other savings accounts.

It is also about recognising that the higher earning partner has the opportunity to make substantial, highly lucrative, personal investments, in the form of pension contributions, with their earnt income, before that is 'counted' domestically.

That cannot be evened out, because the lower earning partner will never gain the employer contributions that the higher earning partner has. They can make their tax efficient savings though.

And as a couple, they can choose to recognise earnt income, after tax but before pension contributions, as the 'net' that they are working with when making discretionary choices about spending.

The point is that they both have a post-tax income. They work out their bills proportionately.

But one of them is stashing a big chunk of that income away, before 'declaring' their available income.

Simply 'post tax available income' and 'net income are not the same thing. That's because pension contributions come out before tax is paid.

So, gross minus tax = net. That's what most of understand.

However, what is happening in reality is gross income - pension contribution = taxable income, then taxed = available income.

There is a good case that net income should be regarded as available income. Each party is choosing how much of that to save into their pension pot.