Going on holiday without DP

[Wavypurple]

DP and I have been together for six years. Never been on holiday together. Admittedly we couldn’t obviously during covid but now we can, I have money saved for this purpose. I’ve never been on a holiday, ever.

Whenever I bring up us going on holiday it’s always ‘I have no money to do that’. He spends so much money on things that he seriously does not need, expensive car payments for an unnecessary new car and so, so many expensive hobbies that never last.

I’ve offered to loan money which he declined, I’ve offered to pay for him outright which he also declined. I wouldn’t usually offer to do this but I do not care I just want a break!! He wants to do a package holiday to somewhere like Spain when I would rather go somewhere further afield which I agreed with but again dragging feet, making plans at 11pm when I’m in bed?!

He is the one always talking about needing a break, desperate for a holiday. But whenever I try to make plans there is always a hurdle! ‘No money’ ‘it’s too expensive there’ ‘I don’t like the food there’ ‘I’ve been there before’

I have some annual leave coming up. I feel so, so bad doing this and leaving him here but WIBU to just go on holiday alone??? I feel as if I’ve explored every option with him and I just want a break!!

No DC, we live together.

Also I’m aware this is MN at the end of the day so no, he doesn’t have an affair partner he can’t leave behind/a secret family/millions in gambling debt/a warrant out for his arrest meaning he can’t leave the country.

Is he afraid of flying?

Go. Enjoy yourself. Just book something and give him the option to come.

Is he scared of flying and doesn't want to tell you?

Just wondering because a cousin is in this exact position where the daft git doesn't want to tell his girlfriend he hates flying. I suggested asking the doctor for valium or something for the flight.

Is he afraid of flying? Or a particularly fussy eater?

Just trying to get into the mindset of people who never want to go abroad.

YANBU. Go. Book something. If you're staying in Europe, go to Italy. It's much nicer than Spain.

Ah, cross post with @MrsMoastyToasty.

Go go go!

I’m in a Facebook group for solo women travellers which is great for inspiration and advice. Mine is for over 50s but you could take a look at something like that? It’s not for travelling together, but people post their trips and ask questions, etc

I've been away so many times without my DH as he wasn't interested. It's taken 20 years but he now realises how much he missed out on and really regrets it. Don't end up with regrets! Go on your own if he doesn't want to. I have so many amazing memories of places I went on my own and later with my ds.
PS for a first time trip 'further away' I cannot recommend Mexico or Thailand highly enough - just don't spend your time in a resort, travel around and book airbnb's. Although Italy and Spain are two of my favourites as well. Majorca might suit as a compromise if he decides he wants in - a few days in Palma old town, take the tourist train out to Soller and spend a few days there and then the tram down to Port de Soller and spend a few days there - absolute bliss!

Yes go on your own if you don’t have anyone to go with. My son’s on holiday on his own at the moment

Oh and if he's worried about food check out the Forn des Theatre in Palma their chicken pastello (I think it's called - like a pie) is the best thing I've ever put in my mouth. I could eat them every day of the week.

Go, choose exactly where you want to go and go, or ask a like minded friend to go with you, l have travelled alone all over years ago and had a fantastic time.
People are keen to talk to you if you are travelling solo and it is so much fun.

Has he ever been overseas?

Is he someone that is just throwing money reasons where the real reason is something much bigger? ... Terrified of flying /different food /foreign langauge?

Pal's partner always couldn't afford holiday... In the end she shoe horned him into a Spanish AI (they had small kids at the time...) and he was terrified... Wouldn't go solo to get drinks... As he worried about 'getting lost' in the hotel... Wouldn't jump on a local bus in case a random person might talk to him. Wouldn't eat anywhere that wasnt in a brit type pub...refused to visit water parl as the notices 'would be in Spanish'.. (they're in several languages... Ans i would hage thought its pretty easy to worl out whicb ones are rhe men's changing room...

They split up pretty soon after....

I've been on holiday without my DP twice this year already.

Go, why wouldn't you ?

Definitely go by yourself.

He sounds rather dull.

Definitely go. I have 2 dc and a dh who does love to travel with me and I still take at least one holiday on my own every year. It's lovely.

Go without him.
Dump him.
Whichever the soonest.

A man who's shite with money will be an albatross around your neck until the day you die.

Definitely go, I’ve been away solo when my partner couldn’t come too and honestly it’s brilliant. Really recommend doing a group tour (G Adventures and similar) if you want to see loads, or a fancy resort if you just want to swim and relax! Enjoy!