People smirking or laughing as a put down

[user1471554720]

Following on from middle class insults, I have noticed that sometimes, I may make a comment and some people at work or in company would give a laugh like I am stupid. I feel I can't ask them what they are laughing at, as they would just continue to give a stupid laugh, like they are in good form and not explain it. I am quiet but like to make a reasonable effort in company. It is like they are jealous of seeing a quiet person able to "hold their own" in a group.

I have noticed this from time to time with people who are a bit passive agressive. It is designed to make you feel small. If you stand up for yourself you look petty for questioning a person smirling.

It is a real lower middle class thing, the real middle class people don't do it. The working class would say X is talking a lot today. Like they are pretending to be refined but still want to get their digs in. They wouldnt do it to a more assertive person.

Recently when they have done it, I laugh along and say it is all a big laugh, addressing them. It seems to make them think about their behaviour.

I’ve never noticed this at all!

I don’t think people laugh because of their class.

People laugh when they find something funny.

Or ridiculous.

Have they entirely changed the definition of the word class in the past 24 hours? That’s the only way I could see this thread or that other one making any sense whatsoever.

One may give one another a "look" when you are talking. Trying to shut you up. If you are not very confident and see people laughing when you talk, it may cause you to lose confidence. People enjoy using power to make others feel small.

I laugh along and say it is all a big laugh, addressing them. It seems to make them think about their behaviour.

I think you should keep asking them what’s so funny, with a hard stare.

It rather depends on whether you may have said something stupid, I think.

Or maybe something has been said that is all too obvious.

Really depends on the context.

I think mean girls of any class (and no class) do this

If I ask what is so funny, they just ignore me and change the subject
If I persist, it looks like I am causing a scene. With acquaintances like this, I deliberately ignore them if I see them out and about at lunchtime. This has taken the wind out of their sails a few times with their expressions at being deliberately ignored.

I have a tendency to say hello to everyone and am smiley, (people pleasing) so it is very obvious when I ignore someone. No one has ever come up and asked why didn"t I see them.

Some people are bullies. I don't think it has to do with class.

I was with you until you mentioned class.

This is definitely insidious bullying. Is it happening at work? If so escalate it to your manager / HR - provide dates / times / descriptions of what happened. Good companies don’t accept behaviour like this in any more.

Working class people tell me I am too quiet. At least then I can respond or say I don"t like the comments. It is just the smirking/laughing when you are trying to make conversation and be pleasant.

Why is mn so obsessed with so called class ?

@jytdtysrht

Some people are bullies. I don't think it has to do with class.

This exactly

Something I have realised recently is that some people laugh if they don't understand what's been said. For some reason they think this is better than asking you to clarify.

Also, some people make a huge incorrect assumption about you from something you've said and then laugh.

Basically, people are so weird.

You sound like someone who overthinks everything and is frankly hard work. People don't usually use laughter or facial expressions to get at you. You need to think about your own communication I think as you are projecting massively and probably come across as unfriendly yourself.

I know someone who does a face as if they're pretending to suppress a smirk. They're not, the whole thing is done as a put-down. It's a very manipulative thing to do. The person is a twat.

The class thing is bullshit. The majority of people at work are working class. Some people are direct (which I prefer), some do the look between each other/smirk (which I don't give a shit about) and some do the nicey nicey to your face while bitching behind your back complete with "oh so and so is lovely BUT...". It's the third that I really avoid and can't stand.

Luckily a lot more people just don't get involved in the gossip and drama and just mind their own business.

OP yes some people do this, it is mean and horrible and hard to call out as they just deny it.

runningfromreality

I am pleasant and try to be friendly even though I am shy and quiet. Most people are fine but there are always a few.

Smirk - 'are you okay? You look like you're trying not to shit yourself'

Laughing - 'share the joke. Oh, wait. You ARE the joke'.

Their problem if they think it's a scene. And it's nothing to do with class - or lack thereof.

They think they are superior, but they are mean.

@iklboo

Smirk - 'are you okay? You look like you're trying not to shit yourself'

Laughing - 'share the joke. Oh, wait. You ARE the joke'.

Their problem if they think it's a scene. And it's nothing to do with class - or lack thereof.

Love this 😂

the one liners are very funny especially when said to superior smirkers

@runningfromreality

You sound like someone who overthinks everything and is frankly hard work. People don't usually use laughter or facial expressions to get at you. You need to think about your own communication I think as you are projecting massively and probably come across as unfriendly yourself.

Whoa.

Bit of victim-blaming, there.

And some people do use laughter and facial expressions to ‘get at you’. It’s classic bullying.

OP - your responses sound polite but effective. You make your point without being mean in return. Good for you.