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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say I wish neighbours' husband was not WFH

83 replies

tulips27 · 02/02/2022 14:14

Nothing serious but following on from a couple of threads from disgruntled spouses of people WFH, I want to make my own complaint as a neighbour- it's not just spouses that are affected. My neighbour's husband is always hanging around, nothing wrong with the man but it feels like he is always there! I want to go outside in my own garden without someone always being there all the time! It's a lovely day today and I could be outside doing a bit of work but I feel I can't. I know what the replies will be but someone please tell me I'm not the only one who feels this way. Grin

OP posts:
steff13 · 02/02/2022 14:47

@PJsAndRainyDays

Confused about what job he is able to do in the garden all day?!
I could do my job in the yard most days. I have hearings that I have to do inside because they're confidential, but on the days I'm writing decisions I have sat out in the yard and done it. As long as I am connected to the WIFI.
Nanny0gg · 02/02/2022 14:48

I don't understand.

Do you have a low fence or something? Is he talking loudly on his phone? Or to you?
Is he naked in his hot tub?

What exactly is stopping you using your garden?

ConsiderablyRicherThanYow · 02/02/2022 14:49

I've recently moved into a flat and the upstairs neighbours are always in and it does start to feel uncomfortable. Especially as there's always someone in each room upstairs. If you move to a different room it's just a different person above you. Sometimes it goes quiet and it feels relaxed and then creak/stomp/sneeze/grunt. Most days we are out of our flat for at least a few hours a day if not all day, same as the other neighbours, but the ones above us are always always in. I am looking into sound proofing because it's getting on my nerves so much to never feel alone. I've lived in a flat before but never felt this cramped, and this is the largest flat I've lived in.

Andylion · 02/02/2022 14:50

@MisAnn

I'm dreading summer for this reason. New neighbour moved in last year. Took ALL his conference calls on loudspeaker in the garden, in a language I don't understand and he is So Loud, the entire street must be able to hear him. It's turned me into a winter person Grin.
Start mowing the lawn everyday.
Theunamedcat · 02/02/2022 14:50

I'm so glad I have high fencing where I am now where I used to live was embarrassing you almost had to make conversation with people because they could see you

Berengaria1 · 02/02/2022 14:52

You're objecting to your neighbour being in his own home?

IncompleteSenten · 02/02/2022 15:02

Why can't you both be in your gardens at the same time?

Bonnealle · 02/02/2022 15:02

Do you share a garden?

SartresSoul · 02/02/2022 15:03

Get bigger fences so you don’t see him?

picklemewalnuts · 02/02/2022 15:03

My neighbour is in his back garden all the time. If he isn't, he's home with the back door open. He plays music, sings karaoke, and has a dog.

All things combined, I can't enjoy my garden unless he's out. His wife is fine, it's just him. Loud.

apintofwine · 02/02/2022 15:11

Isn’t your “neighbours husband” just your “neighbour”….?!

TyrannosaurusRegina · 02/02/2022 15:12

@MisAnn

I'm dreading summer for this reason. New neighbour moved in last year. Took ALL his conference calls on loudspeaker in the garden, in a language I don't understand and he is So Loud, the entire street must be able to hear him. It's turned me into a winter person Grin.
Simple answer, out comes your speakers when he does it!
RagzRebooted · 02/02/2022 15:14

Last summer one of my neighbours was 'running a business' that involved recording videos for his social media. With several loudmouth and vulgar 'colleagues'. There was a LOT of swearing and inappropriate content. So many parents of young children complained that they couldn't play out in the gardens because he was so loud and offensive. It was absolute hell for months.

I'll have your neighbour instead, OP!

haismfh · 02/02/2022 15:15

What is he doing while "hanging around"? Is he trying to make conversation? Is he staring at you?
Is he working outside? And if so, how and why, it's fucking freezing? Or do you live in the southern hemisphere and it's summer?
If he's not working outside, what kind of work does he do which means he can stand around in his garden all day, allegedly WFH but actually doing nothing?
So many questions. I'm intrigued by this situation for some reason.

But unfortunately you are being unreasonable. He's entitled to use his garden as and when he wants for whatever purpose he wants so long as he isn't breaking laws - such as offending public decency or causing a noise nuisance.

That said, I do know what you mean though. I remember growing up and wanting to play in our garden but the neighbour had to have a chat with me all the time, every single time I went out. And I'd been taught to be polite and talk to her while my mother hid every time she saw the neighbour come into the garden but anyway... It was really annoying. I just wanted to play and had to talk to this random woman.

HumbugWhale · 02/02/2022 15:16

@apintofwine

Isn’t your “neighbours husband” just your “neighbour”….?!
I was about to make this point!
Toanewstart22 · 02/02/2022 15:16

Do YOU WFH?

Blue4YOU · 02/02/2022 15:22

Go out with pants with a rude sweaty slogan on.. see what happens. You do know you are unreasonable but to be fair I hate listening to my neighbour swearing non stop “fucking goal”, “I hate fucking flowers”… you name it and he’s sworn at it. Suppose it makes me feel better if he hears me swearing when I walk into things (all the time)

Blue4YOU · 02/02/2022 15:22

Sweary not sweaty 🤣

Rosscameasdoody · 02/02/2022 15:23

@BobHadBitchTits

You're not any more entitled to use the garden than he is.

He probably wishes you'd fuck off.

🤣🤣🤣
LagunaBubbles · 02/02/2022 15:25

Still don't understand why you can't go into your garden when your neighbour is in his? Confused

Agrudge · 02/02/2022 15:29

@LagunaBubbles

Still don't understand why you can't go into your garden when your neighbour is in his? Confused
This is MN. Every man is up to no good unless proven innocent. Even then that isnt enough for some
neverknowinglyunreasonable · 02/02/2022 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RitaFires · 02/02/2022 15:29

I used to have a nightmare neighbour that would be incredibly loud all the time, all of his phone calls on speaker, seemed to watch telly exclusively in the garden. Initially if he was out making noise I would go back inside, but eventually I just ignored him and went about my business tending to my plants and feeding the birds.

It seemed to spoil it for him that I wasn't going back in so he started going back in instead. I found it quite funny that the sound of me watering plants was so intrusive to him that he couldn't bear it and had to go inside when I had to tolerate him loudly berating his partner and watching WWE and reality shows at a ridiculous volume.

Lampshading · 02/02/2022 15:33

Why can't you go out into your garden at the same time? Confused

WonderfulYou · 02/02/2022 15:34

He is probably thinking the same as you

I agree.

YABU OP but I completely get what you’re saying!

We have tiny yards and the fences are waist height and are like chicken wire. We’re not allowed to change the fences.
My back door is right next to my neighbours back door so there is no where you can go that they can’t see or speak to you.

I work FT and they don’t work and sometimes on my day off I just want to sit in the garden on my own without someone watching me or talking to me.

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