Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is some BULLSHIT - female toilets at work

163 replies

HonestlyPromisely · 02/02/2022 06:28

Main building and separate smaller building

Smaller building (where I work) is very very old. Roughly 60 women and exactly TWO men work in there.

Female toilets are constantly blocked out of use. When this happens we have to traipse over to the main building. They’ve been out of action for two weeks now and maintenance have put an email around to say they will not be fixing them as building is due to be torn down in 6 mths and they will just keep breaking.

Women will have to walk over to main building (about 50m away) to use the loo

Why the fuck can’t the men go to the main building and we have the mens toilets which apparently work absolutely fine?! They have 3 cubicles and 2 urinals, we have 3 cubicles.

AIBU here? Shouldn’t the two men be asked to go over to the main building given there’s only bloody two of them?

OP posts:
WonderfulYou · 02/02/2022 10:08

Do you all feel like this, or do some of your colleagues welcome the chance to get up and stretch their legs, even for that short distance? I would, especially if it's a sedentary office type job.

I agree.

I’d rather have to walk a bit further and use a toilet so I can stretch my legs.

At my workplace there is one shared toilet for both males and females and then the separate toilets are further away which work well.

Orchid876 · 02/02/2022 10:09

Snap @AssemblySquare. I really don’t get the issue with the toilet being in a different building. I’d have sympathy if it was like the scenario in Hidden Figures, where it takes 5 minutes plus to run to the loo. My form room is over the other side of our very large site, it takes a genuine 3-4 minutes to march quickly from my form room to my teaching room. And there’s no loo in that building. The nearest staff loo is about 200m away. It’s absolutely fine, I’ve never heard staff complain about our toilet provision (but if they had a genuine health need they’d be timetabled near a loo anyway so maybe that’s why). I guess we’re all used to being active pretty much all of the day, we’re not used to office working where you sit down all day anyway. I really don’t get why some people are so against walking 50m. Being active is a good thing!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/02/2022 10:11

YABU get your managers to sort it out or just use (ugh) the men's anyway. What will they do? Sack you? Of course not.

So are we saying that it's fine for anybody to use any toilets that they want to now, regardless of sex? Even if we say that women in the men's toilets is not the same risk as men in the women's toilets.... the end result is still having potentially dangerous men in a personal, intimate setting with access to women, whomever they're actually designated for.

If it's just that the toilets keep getting blocked, surely that's just an ongoing maintenance requirement? Why condemn them for six months? The toilets aren't derelict with the buildings about to tumble down on to people's heads at any moment: they just need a bit more regular and intensive cleaning/flushing-through programme. If your house was about to be compulsorily purchased in the next few months, you wouldn't waste tie and money on a new extension or replacement kitchen - but you would still clean it.

They could also put up signs in there (and maybe send a general mass email) reminding/informing those women who still don't know about what shouldn't be flushed.

Either the buildings are still appropriate for human use - including properly working/maintained toilets - or they aren't, in which case they need to be decommissioned and the employees relocated now and not in six months' time.

Thebestwaytoscareatory · 02/02/2022 10:13

Why do the womens toilets keep getting blocked but he men’s dont?

Probably because the men's are only used by 2 men

There's also an increased likelihood of women flushing things that cause blockages. The vast majority of blockages stem from wet wipes and sanitary products.

With 60 women and 2 men, men should have to compromise.

Really? Are you happy for that to apply in the reverse situation? Should women in male dominated offices/work places always be the ones to compromise?

Anyone who can't be bothered can just identify as a man for a bit?

I know this along with similar comments are being said as a bit of a dig towards the self id issue, but women are always using the men's toilets anyway so it's a bit of a non issue. If you're ever at a gig/museum/airport/etc and there's a queue for the ladies you're guaranteed to find a woman in the men's.

ginghamstarfish · 02/02/2022 10:17

If you're prepared to share the mens' toilets with the men, then yes just say you are a man at that moment if challenged. If not, and I don't blame you, then yes it seems unfair but as PPs have said it gives you a chance for a walk and stretch, and also means the company is losing employee working time. Their problem really. Take your time when going.

WildfirePonie · 02/02/2022 10:19

Use the mens toilets. Why not? Should be empty most of the time.

SartresSoul · 02/02/2022 10:19

Just get a sign women can stick on the door when they’re in there so the men know when not to use it. Makes most sense to me rather than anyone having to traipse anywhere to pee.

Hertsgirl10 · 02/02/2022 10:19

Why can’t men and women share toilets, I never understand why this is such a huge drama. Just use the mens.

allinadaystwerk · 02/02/2022 10:20

I'd just use the mens toilets.

irishfarmer · 02/02/2022 10:21

I voted YABU only because I don't think your anger should be directed at the men, it's the company/ building owner. Ask to have the toilets unisex for a few months. Any women who are uncomfortable can still go to the main building, any women that don't want the walk can use the men's.

fffffoafmofsamfo · 02/02/2022 10:23

I don't see why they can't put a lock on the main toilet door and declare it unisex for the time being. When the door is locked someone has to wait.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 02/02/2022 10:31

Just get a sign women can stick on the door when they’re in there so the men know when not to use it. Makes most sense to me rather than anyone having to traipse anywhere to pee.

With 60 women in the office, those two men are going to be waiting and doing the 'frantic wee-wee dance' for quite a long time. As PPs have said, it isn't them to blame for the current situation - it's the management/maintenance. It's not a race to the bottom (pun possibly intended).

Orchid876 · 02/02/2022 10:32

Yes @fffffoafmofsamfo I think the only way to make the men's toilet a functioning unisex toilet is to put a lock on the external toilet door. If that's not going to happen, then at the very least the external door should be removed, but that's less than ideal if the cubicles aren't self contained with sinks. Genuinely unisex toilets should be designed with self contained cubicles, with no external door to a communal area, you can't just make a single sex toilet unisex with a sign on the door and comply with employee safeguarding. Putting a lock on the external door would be appropriate if there are adequate numbers of toilets in the other building, which is only 50m away. If there aren't, then the company need to ensure there are enough functioning toilets which are accessible to everyone, but accessible doesn't really need to be in the same building.

Colourmeclear · 02/02/2022 10:32

At the moment there is a reason why women have to walk to the main building. The toilets are broken. If the men were made to move it would be based on the fact they are men and so open to an interpretation of sexual discrimination. I don't think it's ok to dent the rights to a minority just because they are a minority.

I would be making sure that those with disabilities were adequately provided for, that allowances would be made for the extra time i.e you wouldn't be restricted from leaving your desk because it takes so long to get there and back.

I'd also be pushing for a resolution in respect to the toilets being temporarily fixed. 6 months is too long really. I'd say a month word be reasonable. The other alternative is to move the office earlier than planned if the building is to be demolished.

FelicisNox · 02/02/2022 10:36

So you don't want to be inconvenienced but it's OK for someone else to be?

The issue is the maintenance team not the men.

YABVU

JudgeJ · 02/02/2022 10:40

@FluffyBooBoo

50 metres?

Do you all feel like this, or do some of your colleagues welcome the chance to get up and stretch their legs, even for that short distance? I would, especially if it's a sedentary office type job.

When I was working the loos were in another part of the buiding, more than 100m away and of course at Break and lunchtime they were in high demand.
Hadjab · 02/02/2022 10:46

@ChangingStates

Just share the toilets there are- if only 2 men they can hardly ever be in there. If women really don't want to be in there when a man there could be a sign on the door that men put up or flip or whatever that shows toilet is currently in use by a man
Most men can't put the toilet seat back down, I doubt they'd remember to flip a sign...
vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 02/02/2022 10:51

OP hasn't come back.

Do you think this was a plop for screenshots of women losing their minds over toilets?

WonderfulYou · 02/02/2022 10:55

If you're prepared to share the mens' toilets with the men, then yes just say you are a man at that moment if challenged.

I can imagine the replies if you told 60 men to pretend to be women to use the female toilets.

If sharing toilets is such a non issue then there’d be no threads asking for single sex spaces. But there are hundreds of them.

Individual shared toilets are fine as that’s what most places do but this sounds like a block.

GrannytoaUnicorn · 02/02/2022 11:02

If physically/logistically possible, then insist on working from home!!

LindaEllen · 02/02/2022 11:04

Your focus shouldn't be on the men, but on the people who are supposed to be fixing the toilets.

Why should ANY of you have to go to a different building? It would be unfair for the men to swap, but it is not on that it's taking so long to fix. Use your energy to find solutions to the main problem.

narkyspirit · 02/02/2022 11:06

I just read to op's post where is said the loos are constantly blocked?

I would assume that the other (mens) loos are on the same drains system and would also become blocked very quickly if the ladies used them? Then everybody has to walk 50M?

how long does it take for said loos to become blocked? maybe a few waste bins could be provided.

I'm now off to find my hard hat and body armour!!!

RB68 · 02/02/2022 11:09

Provision is part of H&S regulations/law. Perhaps take a look down that route in terms of sufficient for the numbers.

IcakethereforeIam · 02/02/2022 11:10

How about renting a portaloo if it's likely to be for just a wee (snigger) while, as a temp fix. If folk really don't wish to share. Mind you might be cheapest to just keep unblocking the current ladies. I don't understand, if the company has maintenance on staff, whar precisely are they there for?

Googleplexian · 02/02/2022 11:12

Sorry but generally men and women's toilet needs are different. Treating men and women exactly the same does not equate to fair treatment as they have different anatomy and different needs.

A fifth to a quarter of child-bearing women will be on their period at the same time. Women take 2.3 times as long to go to the toilet than men. Many go to the toilet more often - particularly when pregnant and after childbirth.

Look at the book by Caroline Criado Perez, Invisible Women, Data Bias In A World Designed for Men.